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anal discomfort

O

okaoka

Peer Supporter
hello everyone,

i want to ask and get some ideas and maybe encouragements for my situation.
i am 44 and been dealing with anal issues for many years since i was a teenage. i had hemorrhoids and did some treatments and eventually two surgeries after the hemorrhoids came back a few years after the first surgery.
now almost 4 years after the surgery i feel pain or sensations specially when i sit.
i read a lot and saw many videos about TMS and about pelvic issues.
i also read success stories and some of them of stories similar to mine.
i am trying to relax my nervous system and using some TMS strategies, i am trying not to fear the pain etc.
the thing is that even though i am doing everything (working, training, going out etc) i still can't get rid of those anal sensations. i admit that i do fear those sensations because they are uncomfortable.
i am not convinced 100 percent that my situation is TMS because i did have interventions in the area.
i forgot to mention that the doctors didn't find any major issue and some just say my anal muscle tone is a bit high so it might be what causing the problem.
i don't know exactly what i am looking for by writing this post. if someone have similar expricne or have any good advise for me please share.

thank you and sorry for the english :)
 
okaoka said:
i forgot to mention that the doctors didn't find any major issue and some just say my anal muscle tone is a bit high so it might be what causing the problem.
Click to expand...

This means that you have TMS. You list a lot of TMS reading, watching, etc. This is a good start as gaining TMS knowledge is am important part of the process. But it all sounds rather passive. It is time for you to actively engage in the therapeutic techniques. Start exploring your emotions and thinking patterns. We have a free program on this site called the SEP, and there are many other workbooks available to help you. You can find the ones that helped others in the Success Stories you have read.
 
thank you very much,

the thing is that i do also active things like meditation and qigong and sometimes also journaling
i think one of the issues is that i am not convinced its TMS because there are always more tests that you can do. actually the last doctor i went to sent me to do pelvic ultra sound and pressure test of the spinchtar muscles but i didnt go because i feel as the more checks i do i will think about it more. but i think about it and feel it anyway.
basically i can say that i do everything but the fear is there, because when you have pain or sensations its not easy not to be afraid of them.
 
okaoka said:
some just say my anal muscle tone is a bit high
Click to expand...

The butt and the jaw are too major places that we tighten under stress. If a doctor noticed that your anal muscle tone is a bit high then clearly you are unconsciously clenching. The TMS work will help clear that up.
You don't have to be convinced it's TMS for it to work. When you start releasing the inner anger it will release on its own.
 
okaoka said:
but i didnt go because i feel as the more checks i do i will think about it more.
Click to expand...
Excellent! Give yourself a lot of credit for this decision! dancea

Look, this work does not provide an easy fix. There is no instant overnight "cure" for the TMS brain mechanism. However it is easy to get started if you do our Structured Educational Program as @Ellen mentioned. You can find it by going to the main tmswiki.org site (click on the world logo in the upper left corner of your browser). It is free, there is no registration required, and you just need to do one "Day" each day. You do not even need to have 100% belief in TMS to start the program! The only real requirement is to have an open mind and to be willing to be emotionally vulnerable.

You also need to know that as you start to make progress, your symptoms might get worse, or you might develop new symptoms, or even anxiety. If this happens, it's proof that you are suffering from the TMS brain mechanism. You can take a brief break if this happens, and you can let us know what's going on, and also read Success Stories to reassure yourself - but don't give up. You can do this.

Good luck!
 
thank you for the reply, i will try to start with the program that you recommended.

I would really like to get in touch with someone who had similar symptoms as me. I know everyone symptoms are different but i read some posts here by people who describe more or less the same symptoms as i have.

i read a few success storied of this people and that give me a lot of encouragement.

usually my pain is not that high and i think its more like sensations with some uncomfortable feeling.

today i had hard stools (sorry for tmi) and now my anal area is painful for hours already. the connection between the bowel movent and the pain is what make me doubt the TMS diagnosis although i know anal and sphincter muscles can get in spasm due to stress etc.

I been seeing a psychologist for almost 2 years and lately started meditating and journaling. i don't think there is much that i am hiding from myself. i try to relax and live my life but its hard when you have pain. i try to just accept it, but its not easy. when the pain or sensations are low its just a matter of decision and then i think my problem is really obsessive attention to the area. but when i have bad days like today i can't believe the TMS diagnosis because the pain is so real.

another thing is that i had pain with hemorrhoids before the surgery, it affected my life but i was not that obsessed about it. so maybe the TMS is the obsession but not the pain itself?

anyway, sorry for making it long and sorry for my english :)

really hope to be able to get in touch with some who had same issues as I have and managed to get over it.

Thank you all for reading and helping.
 
okaoka said:
today i had hard stools (sorry for tmi) and now my anal area is painful for hours already. the connection between the bowel movent and the pain is what make me doubt the TMS diagnosis although i know anal and sphincter muscles can get in spasm due to stress etc.
Click to expand...

Oka, it's 100% normal to have pain with hard stools. Of course you are going to have pain when you have a hard thing going through that area.
The reason your pain lasted for a long time is because you are thinking about it, worrying about it, obsessing on it. That is exactly what TMS is.
With TMS, we have some legitimate pain and then we hold on to it. If you doubt you have TMS because of the connection with the bowel movement it's actually the opposite scenario. Because you had the bowel movement and the pain and then you held onto the pain is a pretty good indicator that the continued pain is from TMS.


okaoka said:
i don't think there is much that i am hiding from myself.
Click to expand...

Again, this quote is pretty much evidence that there IS much that you are hiding from yourself!
Here's the fact, every human being, even those without TMS, have lots of things they have hidden down deep. It's the nature of how our minds work.
It seems like we don't because, well, it's hidden! Even the healthiest of people have stuff hidden. For us it's hidden anger and rage and often we, like you, are the easiest going people on the surface. For example, I'm very easy going and when I learned about TMS I thought--- I"m not angry. I don't really get angry. If I'm mad about something I let it go and move on easily. But then when I started writing stuff down, and I asked myself what am I angry about, my heart started pounding and I had strange, scary physical sensations. Clearly there was something going on! The next day I tried again and was able to le myself get to those places. There's nothing to feel ashamed about having anger down deep. It's often just leftover and seemingly insignificant things that intellectually we know are nothing to be that angry about, but our lower brain or our younger self brain are mad as heck!

okaoka said:
I would really like to get in touch with someone who had similar symptoms as me.
Click to expand...


You really don't need to get in touch with someone with the same symptoms because TMS is the same whether it manifests in your anus or in your back or in your throat. I know we all do that where we try to find the exact symptoms on other people. That is because we are obsessing on ourselves and our bodily part.

The useful aspect of WHERE the pain is located is that sometimes it gives us clues to our hidden emotions.
In the ear, maybe there are things we don't want to hear. In the throat, maybe there are things that we don't want to say.
In the anal area, maybe there are some issue around sexuality. Or around not wanting to let things out. Or around sitting.
That for you to explore when you go through the program and dig deep.

If you aren't prepared to find your hidden emotions then there is no point in looking at TMS.
There are lots of healthboards and forums with people with similar to pain -- but know that they will likely go on and on about how they've tried everything and nothing works.
To us on the outside looking in, it seems obvious but it's hard when it's yourself.
Read Sarno's books and you'll get the answers and the good news is that the answers are relatively easy.
 
okaoka said:
Hello Booble,

thank you.

by go through the program do you mean the Structured Educational Program?
Click to expand...

Well, that's up to you.
I really mean stop worrying about whether it is or isn't TMS and do the work.
That could mean starting with reading Sarnos books or going through the Structured Educational Program.
For me it was watching the old 20/20 video, some interviews with Sarno, reading on here, and then starting to write things down and find my hidden anger that I didn't think I had. That was all I needed to stop debilitating throat pain which had me keeping mute for months.
Day 2 of writing things down and I felt my muscles in that area loosen and all dissolved.
 
Booble said:
Well, that's up to you.
I really mean stop worrying about whether it is or isn't TMS and do the work.
That could mean starting with reading Sarnos books or going through the Structured Educational Program.
For me it was watching the old 20/20 video, some interviews with Sarno, reading on here, and then starting to write things down and find my hidden anger that I didn't think I had. That was all I needed to stop debilitating throat pain which had me keeping mute for months.
Day 2 of writing things down and I felt my muscles in that area loosen and all dissolved.
Click to expand...
actually i am reading and watching videos about TMS and about mindbody in general for long time now. I am reading now steve ozanich book and i am journaling every few days and meditate. i also read here on the forum many stories and posts...so i think that i already doing the work but still feeling frustrated with the symptoms.
i feel i have all the information and i am trying to change. when i have pain i also try to accept it. but its easy to say not easy to do.
 
Booble said:
The butt and the jaw are too major places that we tighten under stress. If a doctor noticed that your anal muscle tone is a bit high then clearly you are unconsciously clenching. The TMS work will help clear that up.
You don't have to be convinced it's TMS for it to work. When you start releasing the inner anger it will release on its own.
Click to expand...
yes, i guess i am clenching although i don't feel i do. i will try to work on the inner anger.
 
Booble said:
Oka, it's 100% normal to have pain with hard stools. Of course you are going to have pain when you have a hard thing going through that area.
The reason your pain lasted for a long time is because you are thinking about it, worrying about it, obsessing on it. That is exactly what TMS is.
With TMS, we have some legitimate pain and then we hold on to it. If you doubt you have TMS because of the connection with the bowel movement it's actually the opposite scenario. Because you had the bowel movement and the pain and then you held onto the pain is a pretty good indicator that the continued pain is from TMS.


maybe, i don't know already...


Again, this quote is pretty much evidence that there IS much that you are hiding from yourself!
Here's the fact, every human being, even those without TMS, have lots of things they have hidden down deep. It's the nature of how our minds work.
It seems like we don't because, well, it's hidden! Even the healthiest of people have stuff hidden. For us it's hidden anger and rage and often we, like you, are the easiest going people on the surface. For example, I'm very easy going and when I learned about TMS I thought--- I"m not angry. I don't really get angry. If I'm mad about something I let it go and move on easily. But then when I started writing stuff down, and I asked myself what am I angry about, my heart started pounding and I had strange, scary physical sensations. Clearly there was something going on! The next day I tried again and was able to le myself get to those places. There's nothing to feel ashamed about having anger down deep. It's often just leftover and seemingly insignificant things that intellectually we know are nothing to be that angry about, but our lower brain or our younger self brain are mad as heck!

yes, i know, i mean that i try to work on myself and look inside, i know there is more to discover.
Click to expand...
 
II am 100% with @Booble, @okaoka. I'll go a bit further and assure you that it is your TMS brain which right now has convinced you that the success stories and advice you've seen on this forum are not good enough., Your TMS brain says that you "need" to talk to someone with your symptoms who has recovered.

Please let me assure you that if someone with your symptoms actually agreed to talk with you, that you would still find a way to reject their experience or their advice, because somehow their symptoms would not be EXACTLY like yours, and therefore their experience would not be valid.

Most of us who have been around don't engage privately with new people who make this request, because this is invariably the outcome, and it is a waste of our time and energy.

This is your brain on TMS. Stop talking about the details of your symptoms (on this forum they are totally irrelevant) and either do the TMS work or, as suggested, try a different type of forum.

okaoka said:
i don't think there is much that i am hiding from myself.
Click to expand...
LOL - if I had kept track of the number of people who are stuck without making progress, and who say exactly this, it would be a LONG list. The correlation, to us, is clear.

okaoka said:
I been seeing a psychologist for almost 2 years
Click to expand...
If your psychologist is truly initerested in helping you, ask if they are willing to read and discuss with you The Divided Mind by Dr. Sarno.

Here's another tool that might give you and your psychologist something new to explore: answer these ten simple yes/no questions here and be sure to read the short explanatory article:
Take The ACE Quiz — And Learn What It Does And Doesn't Mean : Shots - Health News : NPR

I sincerely wish you good luck! I believe you can get there, but you have to stop letting your fearful brain be in charge.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
II am 100% with @Booble, @okaoka. I'll go a bit further and assure you that it is your TMS brain which right now has convinced you that the success stories and advice you've seen on this forum are not good enough., Your TMs brain says that you "need" to talk to someone with your symptoms who has recovered.

Please let me assure you that if someone with your symptoms actually agreed to talk with you, that you would still find a way to reject their experience or their advice, because somehow their symptoms would not be EXACTLY like yours, and therefore their experience would not be valid.

Most of us who have been around don't engage privately with new people, because this is invariably the outcome, and it is a waste of our time and energy.

This is your brain on TMS. Stop talking about the details of your symptoms (on this forum they are totally irrelevant) and either do the TMS work or, as suggested, try a different type of forum.


LOL - if I had kept track of the number of people who are stuck without making progress, and who say exactly this, it would be a LONG list. The correlation, to us, is clear.


If your psychologist is truly initerested in helping you, ask if they are willing to read and discuss with you The Divided Mind by Dr. Sarno.

Here's another tool that might give you and your psychologist something new to explore: answer these ten simple yes/no questions here and be sure to read the short explanatory article:
Take The ACE Quiz — And Learn What It Does And Doesn't Mean : Shots - Health News : NPR

I sincerely wish you good luck! I believe you can get there, but you have to stop letting your fearful brain be in charge.
Click to expand...

Thank you
 
okaoka said:
actually i am reading and watching videos about TMS and about mindbody in general for long time now. I am reading now steve ozanich book and i am journaling every few days and meditate. i also read here on the forum many stories and posts...so i think that i already doing the work but still feeling frustrated with the symptoms.
i feel i have all the information and i am trying to change. when i have pain i also try to accept it. but its easy to say not easy to do.
Click to expand...

What are you journaling about?
You said that you don't think you have emotions hidden down deep which means that you are not yet journaling TMS style.
If you want your butt to unclench, you are going to have to dig deep, find all the little bits of anger tucked away.
Then your butt will unclench and stop hurting.
 
Booble said:
What are you journaling about?
You said that you don't think you have emotions hidden down deep which means that you are not yet journaling TMS style.
If you want your butt to unclench, you are going to have to dig deep, find all the little bits of anger tucked away.
Then your butt will unclench and stop hurting.
Click to expand...
actually i think i didn't express myself right when i said I don't have much hidden emotions, I meant to say that I am a person who is aware of himself, but yes i know there are things that i am hiding from myself .
I journal about basically what comes to my mind at the moment I journal. I try to express all the things I am frustrated about life and about myself.
 
Skylark7 said:
What is TMS style journaling, specifically?
Click to expand...

Well, I think @JanAtheCPA describes it best when she renames it from Journaling to "write shit down."

I don't know what TMS style journaling is technically speaking but what I meant was getting out of your higher level, complex, conscious brain thinking and writing to get into your lower level, unconscious, deeper stuff. Letting the writing flow from deep inside rather than what people might think of when they think of Journaling.
 
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