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Am I looking in the right place? :/

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by aloegarten, Mar 31, 2023.

  1. aloegarten

    aloegarten Newcomer


    I’m just writing kind of as a last resort. For 5 years now I’ve had Pelvic floor related symptoms but 3 months ago I discovered TMS. This was evidently a life changer for me as the symptoms now spring up less and less as time goes on. That being said, I can’t seem to shake the doubt for one thing.

    Whilst the constant dull ache has disappeared I still feel spasming and some other minor symptoms/ tightness involved in my pelvic floor, particularly when seated. This makes me feel sad and disappointed as I have done everything I can for this problem to be solved but some difficulties still persist.

    My questions are;

    • How do I know for sure it’s TMS and not just the same old diagnosis of chronic pelvic pain? (For years now, the doctors have said I am problem free etc).
    • Can TMS cause real symptoms? Such as spasming, numbness and what not.
    • Can I do kegel exercises along side the acceptance that it’s TMS? Like can it be both TMS and still have weak muscles, which are preventing my recovery fully?
    • Could I have weak muscles AND have TMS?

    Thanks for reading and apologies for the long question. I am just scared and worn out. Thanks all.
  2. theacrobat

    theacrobat New Member

    Doubt itself could be the problem. If I ever had any doubt something wasn't TMS, my pain would make a beeline for that area. There is an inner 'factor' that leaps on any fear or doubt to create a distraction. I had severe hip pain but not specifically in the pelvic floor. Also a whole massive list of symptoms: back pain, stomach pain, massive foot swelling, gingivitis, wisdom tooth infection, neck pain, chronic fatigue, dizziness (the doctors were thinking I had Crohn's or something similar). All of these varied symptoms were resolved using Sarno's method, albeit pretty thoroughly and aggressively – recovery took a little over a year and required some comprehensive journalling, putting everything in the darkest possible terms for 45 minutes to 90 minutes per day. So I cannot extrapolate to your case and you know, I'm not a doctor, but in my experience, when I asked myself is it TMS, it always was. Mind>body. I think as a doctor in a very litigious society, Sarno had to be cautious and conservative about saying what was TMS, due to a lack of hard evidence (there's no money in it for drug companies so funding for these kind of studies is limited).
    Also, about muscle weakness, once I began recovering I had no muscle tone from being disabled for ages and was as weak as a 6 year old and that in itself didn't cause pain; it was always a distraction from unconscious emotions.
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  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hello @aloegarten, and welcome. I can't add much to the excellent response you received from @theacrobat, and I DO think you are looking in the right place. Be sure to read his introductory story at https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-back-pain-foot-pain-stomach-pain-intolerances-possible-severe-autoimmune-disease.26991/ (Recovery from back pain, foot pain, stomach pain, intolerances, possible severe autoimmune disease)

    Take a look at this so-called diagnosis. It's doesn't diagnosis anything! It just says you have pain in your pelvis that is chronic. This is a good sign that it's what we still call TMS in honor of Dr Sarno, although many mindbody practitioners now use MBS (mindbody syndrome) or PPD (psycho-physiological disorder).

    For the neuroscience behind pain, and how it is created entirely in our brains, not in the body parts which sense pain, just look up the phenomenon known as phantom limb pain.

    Then, start working on the emotional source of your pain, as described by @theacrobat. Our free Structured Educational Program can get you started. It's on the main tmswiki.org, no registration or signup required. 0% doubt is not required to get started - just an open enough mind to consider other possibilities, and you obviously already have that, or you wouldn't be here! Give yourself credit for that, and also give yourself the gift of hope.

    Cap'n Spanky and theacrobat like this.
  4. aloegarten

    aloegarten Newcomer

    Hi both @JanAtheCPA & @theacrobat, thanks for the amazing advice.

    Maybe the remainder of the symptoms (there is no pain) are symbolic of the remaining doubt I still have. I must admit, I do still hold much doubt as I think of TMS as truly pain driven and not just symptoms. Also, the pain doesn't move around like yours @theacrobat so that is also a seed of doubt. I think because I haven't had everything return to 'normal' yet, I still continue to hold other things to question.

    I wonder if there is any TMS specialists in the UK. Oh to be able to speak to Alan Gordon haha!
    Cap'n Spanky likes this.
  5. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

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  6. theacrobat

    theacrobat New Member

    Have you read Sarno's Mindbody Prescription? He covers quite a wide variety of symptoms in that book. Steve Ozanich's Great Pain Deception also covers some very alarming symptoms, like hand swelling and vision problems, that were resolved using the mind-body approach. That might help with the doubt. I had to read three of Sarno's books and a few others three times each to fully re-condition myself. This part took months and my recovery itself took about a year. In the west, we've all been conditioned into the mainstream view of pain/illness for decades, so re-conditioning and changing the worldview can take a while.
  7. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Don't obsess about the doubt issue, and don't overthink it.

    Intellectualizing and overthinking are nothing more than brain distractions, which fool you into thinking you're accomplishing something, when all you are really doing is spinning your wheels. AKA procrastinating, and hoo boy, our TMS brains are masters of procrastination!

    Just do the work, and don't let your TMS brain distract you.

    And I guess I had assumed you've read Sarno, but to @theacrobat's point, let's make sure you've at least done that in order to understand his basic theories.
    Cap'n Spanky likes this.
  8. Cap'n Spanky

    Cap'n Spanky Well known member

    To cut to the chase, I'd say you're looking in the right place. :);)
  9. aloegarten

    aloegarten Newcomer

    Thanks all. I’ve been trying to do the work and I’ve done both the structural education problems but my expectations are getting in the way. I appear to be reliant on certain symptoms disappearing so other functions return to ‘normal’. Right now, I’m in the midst of building a better relationship with myself.

    Okay, yes, I think I’m looking in the right place :)
    Cap'n Spanky likes this.
  10. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    I had a boyfriend decades ago who told me "expectations are the road to hell" as he was breaking up with me. Not a great boyfriend, but that one phrase has stuck with me. I do my best to keep a very light and very mindful hold on expectations, and I feel like this has served me well in many different ways ever since.
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