Gigalos
Beloved Grand Eagle
We have all read warnings like this numerous times on the forum and in TMS-books. You might just see it as a legal disclaimer, but recently a message has been posted on this forum that proves to be a tragic and painful reminder of why this advice is so important.
R. was a gentle and active guy in his early 70's who recently joined our forum. He told us that he was very healthy and that he came here because of back spasms and back tightness that he had been experiencing for over 10 years. He contemplated the possibility of TMS and his description of the nature of his symptoms sounded like it could be the case, although he still had reservations.
Fast-forward two weeks when he posted about a major setback; he had been fishing in the midday sun two days ago and had suffered from a severe episode of overheating, strong dehydration, back spasms that went through the roof and other severe symptoms. Despite efforts of people on the scene when it happened, he had refused to go to the emergency room to get himself checked out. Instead he went home where he had been spending two days in bed in an effort to recover. Warnings here on the forum to get himself checked out never got a response.
Then three weeks later his daughter posted a message that hit me and other members like a pile of bricks. After his last post, her father apparently had decided to visit the ER that same evening after all. Doctors soon found out that he had been suffering from multiple heart attacks, a leaking valve and an infection in his lungs. He was in dire need of a triple bypass, but tragically he suddenly passed away the next day.
My thoughts are with his family who suffered a great and tragic loss that could have been prevented in hindsight. It seems her father never mentioned his problems to his family as being so severe and he probably never saw a doctor about it. If I reread his posts, which I did several times as you can imagine, he mentioned that he 'only seen a chiropractor' about his back spasms. However, he also told us that he was very healthy and active otherwise, making us think that he had good reasons to make such a statement.
I would like to thank his daughter for informing us in such a kind way, while she had just suffered such a tragic loss and had to find out about the nature of her father's physical problems by stumbling upon this forum. It is tragic that this all happened, but it would be even more tragic if we would not draw lessons from it. Therefore I want to quote the most important part of her post:
"I understand you all and my Dad were reading this book about Pain Deception and healing yourself with your mind but sometimes, there is really something wrong. If my Dad had just gone to a doctor much sooner, I'd still have my Dad and my children would still have their Papa."
She is completely right of course; sometimes there really is something wrong!!
Applying TMS to oneself is controversial to many people not familiar with it. It is almost like you have to experience yourself how it can help you and/or others to get better before you are able to accept it. But once you have seen 'the TMS light', that does not mean that each and every (new) symptom is TMS by default. Doctors are here to help us; even when they don't accept the TMS theory, they are your best bet to rule out anything serious. Make use of that possibility, because ultimately we are not medical doctors!!! And be warned, therapists (PT's, chiro's, psychologists, etc.) often only receive a basic medical training to recognize a limited amount of serious conditions, so that doesn't make them medically trained doctors either.
The difficulty for part of the people here is that their symptoms fall into a gray area: TMS doctors, therapists and well-meaning people who follow the TMS path will say that it is or might be TMS, while the majority of regular doctors and people refuse such a diagnosis. However often they are unable to come up with a better diagnosis that makes sense or with a therapy that may really help you get better. What to do in such a situation?? It is rather difficult to say the least, but still I want to advise to not start seeing everything in black and white. Again, not every new symptom is TMS by default. There are also enough examples of people who suffer from both TMS and a serious condition. TMS can even aggravate symptoms caused by a serious condition, making it look like it is only TMS and therefore benign. Well, keep reminding yourself to once and a while get yourself checked out. This is important for all people, but especially for people who follow the TMS path.
I also want to take this opportunity to remind all the forum members of the influence their posts might have on others. We are not ultimately responsible for the choices people make regarding their own symptoms, but that doesn't mean we can't be careful regarding our own posts. Better warn somebody explicitly one time too many than one time too little. I wish I had done it earlier in this particular case, although I don't feel I should blame myself for not having done so. Please think about this the next time when you help somebody, here on the forum or in real life for that matter.
What I would like is that we use this moment to reflect about how we approach our own and other people's symptoms. No need to scare each other to the doctor, but rather discuss in a constructive way how to be realistic and sensible about it, so please write any reactions with that goal in mind.
Thanks for reading and take care,
R. was a gentle and active guy in his early 70's who recently joined our forum. He told us that he was very healthy and that he came here because of back spasms and back tightness that he had been experiencing for over 10 years. He contemplated the possibility of TMS and his description of the nature of his symptoms sounded like it could be the case, although he still had reservations.
Fast-forward two weeks when he posted about a major setback; he had been fishing in the midday sun two days ago and had suffered from a severe episode of overheating, strong dehydration, back spasms that went through the roof and other severe symptoms. Despite efforts of people on the scene when it happened, he had refused to go to the emergency room to get himself checked out. Instead he went home where he had been spending two days in bed in an effort to recover. Warnings here on the forum to get himself checked out never got a response.
Then three weeks later his daughter posted a message that hit me and other members like a pile of bricks. After his last post, her father apparently had decided to visit the ER that same evening after all. Doctors soon found out that he had been suffering from multiple heart attacks, a leaking valve and an infection in his lungs. He was in dire need of a triple bypass, but tragically he suddenly passed away the next day.
My thoughts are with his family who suffered a great and tragic loss that could have been prevented in hindsight. It seems her father never mentioned his problems to his family as being so severe and he probably never saw a doctor about it. If I reread his posts, which I did several times as you can imagine, he mentioned that he 'only seen a chiropractor' about his back spasms. However, he also told us that he was very healthy and active otherwise, making us think that he had good reasons to make such a statement.
I would like to thank his daughter for informing us in such a kind way, while she had just suffered such a tragic loss and had to find out about the nature of her father's physical problems by stumbling upon this forum. It is tragic that this all happened, but it would be even more tragic if we would not draw lessons from it. Therefore I want to quote the most important part of her post:
"I understand you all and my Dad were reading this book about Pain Deception and healing yourself with your mind but sometimes, there is really something wrong. If my Dad had just gone to a doctor much sooner, I'd still have my Dad and my children would still have their Papa."
She is completely right of course; sometimes there really is something wrong!!
Applying TMS to oneself is controversial to many people not familiar with it. It is almost like you have to experience yourself how it can help you and/or others to get better before you are able to accept it. But once you have seen 'the TMS light', that does not mean that each and every (new) symptom is TMS by default. Doctors are here to help us; even when they don't accept the TMS theory, they are your best bet to rule out anything serious. Make use of that possibility, because ultimately we are not medical doctors!!! And be warned, therapists (PT's, chiro's, psychologists, etc.) often only receive a basic medical training to recognize a limited amount of serious conditions, so that doesn't make them medically trained doctors either.
The difficulty for part of the people here is that their symptoms fall into a gray area: TMS doctors, therapists and well-meaning people who follow the TMS path will say that it is or might be TMS, while the majority of regular doctors and people refuse such a diagnosis. However often they are unable to come up with a better diagnosis that makes sense or with a therapy that may really help you get better. What to do in such a situation?? It is rather difficult to say the least, but still I want to advise to not start seeing everything in black and white. Again, not every new symptom is TMS by default. There are also enough examples of people who suffer from both TMS and a serious condition. TMS can even aggravate symptoms caused by a serious condition, making it look like it is only TMS and therefore benign. Well, keep reminding yourself to once and a while get yourself checked out. This is important for all people, but especially for people who follow the TMS path.
I also want to take this opportunity to remind all the forum members of the influence their posts might have on others. We are not ultimately responsible for the choices people make regarding their own symptoms, but that doesn't mean we can't be careful regarding our own posts. Better warn somebody explicitly one time too many than one time too little. I wish I had done it earlier in this particular case, although I don't feel I should blame myself for not having done so. Please think about this the next time when you help somebody, here on the forum or in real life for that matter.
What I would like is that we use this moment to reflect about how we approach our own and other people's symptoms. No need to scare each other to the doctor, but rather discuss in a constructive way how to be realistic and sensible about it, so please write any reactions with that goal in mind.
Thanks for reading and take care,