No one is saying you're bothering us. This is your despondency speaking here, and we've all had at least moments of that.
I agree with
@Rabscuttle, I believe he is spot on with the following...
Referencing my own recovery journey, what I believe you're 'missing' is that recovery isn't try one or two things at a time, seeing if they 'work', then give up on them when they haven't done the trick, but building a
new life where the pieces (habits, mindset, joys) interlock—like a jigsaw puzzle—
creating a whole that's greater than the sum of its parts. Sure, some people meditate or journal and recover from just doing that, but for some of us (I would wager the majority of us) we need to incorporate new life affirming, healthy activities into our lives and make them habits over time. It took months of "seep-in" before shifts happened.
My advice would be to choose
one thing you don't mind doing or even like (e.g., 5 minutes gentle music listening or a mindful stretch)—add it daily
without expecting anything to happen in the short or medium term. Make it a neutral habit first, then layer another. No pressure-list of 'chores'; just steady, enjoyable building that feels like "me-time", not work.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rc6Od1XV1KA
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zRHSoJERaug