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Dr. Schubiner Why does TMS occur more commonly in women?

Discussion in 'Mindbody Blogs (was Practitioner's Corner)' started by Forest, Jun 5, 2012.

  1. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    I came across this blog post by Howard Schubiner and I thought it did a really good job at explaining how stresses and our personality traits can attribute to our symptoms. One thing that I liked about this post was that Dr. Schubiner mentioned sometimes just taking time for ourselves and learning to say no to the demands of others can be really helpful in overcoming TMS. In the end, recovery comes down to identifying and understanding what stress we have and how to handle the pressures in our lives.

    Here is the post by Dr. Schubiner. I am re-posting it here with his permission. I would love to hear some of your thoughts about it.
     
  2. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Well, I don't think women are any nicer than men, but women are socialized to be "people pleasers" which is a big TMS trait.
     
  3. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    Perhaps, my gender precludes my having decided opinions on this issue, but experientia docet ('experience teaches') me this: Of the three women I know who have fibro and IC, all three of them are 'people pleasers' and likewise, at one time or another, have striven to be "super moms". Of course, I don't have all the facts - only little bits of information I've taken note of in passing - but would have to agree with Dr Schubiner that they all have put a great deal of pressure on themselves to be good and perfect in their social roles as wives and mothers.
     
  4. Beach-Girl

    Beach-Girl Well known member

    I think Dr. Schubiner is right on here. I also agree with Veronica. But I think we (women) are raised as people pleasers or we're not. I was. Couldn't do enough to please my mother. I don't even realize it sometimes. This is a great post. Thanks Forest for posting it.

    BG
     
  5. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    If these are 'feminine traits' so be it, but I have realized throughout the course of the SP and Dr. Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain exercises that I did try - albeit unsuccessfully - for many, many years to please my parents by accomplishing a lot in business and academia. And then again, while taking care of my later mother with dementia from 1997 to 20001, I was trying with all my might to please her. Sounds like a self-effacing pattern that predisposed me from TMS pain I'd say, especially when there's no one in the family left to please anymore but myself!
     
  6. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    I felt like always being "nice" was encouraged by my church growing up, and I think that was more influential to me than any gender-related pressures. People pleasing definitely comes up in men too; I think my boyfriend is more of a people pleaser than I am.
     
    Beach-Girl likes this.

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