Day 5 Unlearn Your Pain Chapter 7

Hi all,

First, I could not be more hopeful. Thank you, Alan Gordon.

After 4 years of debilitating lower back, hip, leg, foot pain and my body slowly contorting into a side-hunchback, surgery, 4 reinjuries, 6 epidurals, countless PT and pscyhotherapy sessions to manage deep anxiety and deep depression, trying every physical, spiritual therapy out there, giving up a few times (and somehow picking myself back up again), watching my life (relationships, job, passions, money, future, home, mobility, mental acuity) disintegrate before my very eyes, I stumbled upon Alan and this wiki through a google search. Alan sent me a link to the overview, I tried the first exercise around self-compassion, and my pain went from an 8 to a 4 that same day, February 27, 2017. I haven't looked back since.

I have been pouring over, many times, the first 7 chapters of "Unlearn your Pain" (Howard Schubiner) as well as some parts of this site. Completing the exercises in Chapter 5 of the book was a compelling realization that I have MBS (TMS) and the I can and will cure myself.

I have a ton of "mud in my basement" (and yes, suffered psychological trauma from the Boulder 2013 flood, which happened right after the acute onset of my pain - one of 5 life traumas that happened in 2013) - mostly in the form of anger, resentment, and fear. Starting the exercises in chapter 7 is roughly equivalent to Day 5 here.
I'm attempting to do this on a self-paced. I understand the value of working with a psychotherapist but I've spent all my non-retirement income and savings on this and have been unable to work because of my condition. I'm living from loan to loan (from family ... yet another source of low self-esteem having been a working professional for 30 years) and am thinking if I can do it on my own, I *should* because the cost of working with a professional monthly is realistically almost twice my food budget. And then there's something else I was just told, that if Medicaid finds out that I 'was able' to pay for this, that I would be kicked of off medicaid - which is the most ridiculous thing I can imagine, but it's a real threat given how much healthcare I need right now.

But I'm stuck at exercise one, in all reality. I seem to find every excuse in the book to avoid not doing the first exercise which is to look back at a big issue and really feel it, feel and express the anger. My unconscious is winning this one.

Has anyone else ever tried using Unlearn your Pain and/or this wiki to do it on our own? Thoughts?

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking back on the 'tradeoff' piece Alan talks about in one of his sample sessions... something like: "which is more important, me taking care of myself with the promise of more positive outcomes by working with a guide, a coach, a therapist to do this effectively, or me worrying about what it means to my ego to have to take out yet another loan to pay for it - even when the loans are being offered to me by family. As an executive coach and truly understanding the value, seems now like my unconscious may want me to struggle and fail as a way of protecting me.

It's been hard and draining these last couple of weeks just doing the pre-work, but I've tasted the fruit of my effort, and truthfully, I don't think and feel like any of it can be much harder or hurt much more than what I've been through for 4 years.

So, I'm forging ahead. Hope I can get myself to start Chapter 7 ULP (Day 5 - TMS wiki) this weekend. I know I have TMS (MBS) and I truly believe I can and will cure myself.

Thank you all out there for paving the way with your stories and examples of courage.

 

Hi Tomsch, and welcome to our forum. I'm glad you found us!

There are plenty of us who recovered without professional help. The day I finished reading The Divided Mind was the day I stopped seeing multiple health professionals and a therapist, and I've never looked back.

Dr Schubiner is absolutely awesome, but a lot of people find his workbook to be a bit heavy-going. You've mentioned you're doing the SEP , which is great because it's broken up into smaller segments that I think are easier to do. That's the program I did five years ago. There's no reason you can't set aside the workbook for now . You don't have to do it all at once!

Have you checked out Alan's Recovery Program? A wonderful gift to the wiki. It's not as structured as the SEP, and not as long, but it asks you to open yourself to the emotional side of this work, which might be good for you at this stage.

I can't tell if you've read one of Dr Sarno's books, but if not, I recommend starting with The Divided Mind.

My best single piece of advice for you right now is to recognize and let go of your perfectionism as you do this work. Recovery will come more naturally if you give yourself a break, and forgive yourself if you don't do it perfectly all the time!

Above all, Tomsch, give yourself a lot of credit and love yourself for doing this work and for being here and for being ready to turn your life around.

Keep us posted!

~Jan

 

Hey Tomsch,

I started reading about TMS over Christmas vacation (Sarno, Steven O, and the Wiki). I'm now on Day 5 of the SEP. I can absolutely relate to the dilemma about spending money on a TMS therapist versus trying to do this on your own. Even though I have insurance through my work, I've spent ridiculous amounts of money on co-pays, deductibles, and alternative treatments over the past two years. I can barely tolerate opening my credit card statement each month. My once perfect credit score is being chipped away by greedy medical practices that won't allow monthly payments- so they turn you over to a collection agency. My plan is to finish the SEP and then determine if I need the help of a therapist. If the pain persists, I will somehow come up with a way to pay for it even if it means selling the few pieces of jewelry that I own. Nothing is more important than being successful in getting rid of this horrible pain and having my life back.

I also understand the fear of facing the emotions. It's been a gut wrenching experience for me. However, after each journaling session, I feel a sense of relief that I've purged my soul of some of the awful stuff that's been lurking inside. Nichole Sachs online videos and journaling instructions have been instrumental in helping me find a journaling technique that works for me.

Best of luck to you. Isn't it wonderful that we are not alone in this journey, and that there are so many selfless folks on the Wiki that are committed to helping us be successful!

 

Hi HattieNC,

Thanks for your support, ideas and encouragement. To your last question, yes. I sat in on the open chat on Saturday and received a tip that got me through a stuck point on journaling my first issue (thx. janathecpa).

I hear you on the finances. Your idea of trying SEP first sounds like it makes a lot of sense. I am working with therapists at a local medicaid-supported clinic. They are helpful just not versed in this methodology or process. I actually did chat with them and they're on board with familiarizing themselves with this wiki. A good start.

I will check out Nichole Sachs videos. Thanks for that.

Best of luck to you as well.

 

Tom, I am doing the "unlearn your pain" workbook as well and have just arrived at Chapter 7 where we list all our past and current stressors. I am faced with the same troubles as you it sounds like.

Digging up all the "mud in the basement", as you put it, is quite painful and uncomfortable. If you are in a fragile state already and don't have the total support of those around you, it can be an ordeal and add more stress.

The mind will use all kinds of tricks to avoid getting to the hurt and anger that is at the bottom of all this.

There is no way to avoid it, we have to face our deep seated emotions if we want to heal.

But we don't have to do it alone perhaps we can chat sometime by phone or chat? Let me know!

Take care Tom!

Sincerely,
Alex

 

I'm looking for a journaling technique that will work best for me. I would be grateful if you'd share with me the Nichole Sachs's journaling technique that works for you. Thanks in advance.

 

She has a youtube channel which explains her technique.

 

Thanks, bur

 

BloodMoon, Here's the link to Nichole's YouTube Channel.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-tz1Du69PhcBkC3-9_Mgmw (The Cure For Chronic Pain with Nicole J. Sachs, LCSW)

 

Thanks very much for that, @HattieNC .