This question was submitted via our Ask a TMS Therapist program. To submit your question, click here. Question Hello. I am 33 years old and have suffered from chronic lower back pain for over a year. It began subtly but increased in pain and frequency over a few months. I began having debilitating back spasms that would make me drop to the ground. They were sudden, and brief but were literally the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Once I had an episode, it would generally reoccur over and over until I remained off my feet for an extended period of time. After trying many traditional methods for relief and seeing many doctors/specialists that couldn't give me any definitive answers, I started doing my own research. I stumbled upon Healing Back Pain by Dr. Sarno and decided that I may very well suffer from TMS. Unfortunately I wasn't able to overcome my symptoms from the information I learned from this book. I continued researching the subject and even bought a TMS workbook (although, I admit I did not complete it in its entirety). I did not immediately notice any changes until weeks later, out of the blue my pain just seemed to dissipate! I would say there was a 85% decrease in overall pain and I had gone for a couple weeks without a single spasm. Imagine my excitement! I put it to the test, doing activities that I had suspended due to pain. I was REALLY learning to trust my body again and let go of the fear that tortured me. I took to social media and announced to the world how much better I was feeling and that I was ready to get back to work! (I had previously quit my job as a bartender due to my back pain) A few weeks later I began a new job as a bartender on a boat. It consisted of very short shifts, usually about 3 hours at a time. After getting back to work I began to, again, experience some back pain during my shifts, but not to the point of full-on spasms. Last night I began employment of an additional job as a bartender at a different establishment. I worked an entire 8 hour shift and, let me tell you, it was as if I reverted right back to where I was a couple months ago. I began having spasms at the end of the night and had difficulty getting out of my car when I returned home. As you can maybe imagine, all of the fear that I had worked to let go of came flooding back. Today I have been a mess of tears. I don't understand why it is back or what more I can do to get better. I have considered seeing a doctor or therapist that is knowledgeable and experienced in TMS but I cannot find anyone in my area. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.