1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Gusto, May 22, 2018.

  1. Gusto

    Gusto Peer Supporter

    My symptoms began a couple years ago with what I could only describe as bowl sensitivity, I went to the doctor mildly concerned and was referred for a colonoscopy to check for bowl cancer, this freaked me out a little bit as I was a healthy 34yr old male and the fact that the scan wasnt or several weeks I began to dwell on it and scan my body for issues, all the while incessantly googling my symptoms which by this time had multiplied (I had tender abdomen, weight loss, fatigue etc, In the mean time I had blood tests etc and nothing was found amiss apart from high bilirubin, which I'm told is benign, Again more google and more convinced I had a wide range of diseases. This all seems like bizarre behaviour now but at the time I was trying to fix what was wrong and escape the danger involved, my analytical mind and career in problem solving really didn't help. The colonoscopy was complete and clear but had a couple of small iregularities (microscopic inflammation) in the report that i latched on to and took as proof of a problem. I just couldn't get my health issues out of my mind. I was referred for a CT scan and again some very small iregularities were found being slightly swollen lymph nodes, to which an interern doctor casually mentioned it could be lymphoma. Well this was all I had to hear, I lost it, resigned to the fact that I was going to leave my young family .. well not resigned to it as I was still fighting it and was deathly scared. Around this time I had a couple of other life stressors (my partner nearly died in childbirth), and looking back now everytime a stressor presented itself my health declined dramatically. To shorten the story somewhat I would always get the all clear and told I'm healthy. Although I felt like I was on my death bed. I was so scattered mentally that I couldn't even boil a pot of water, I was having EXTREME anxiety and was loosely diagnosed with health anxiety.

    The symptoms multipled and magnified, and there has been so many of them it would be hard to remember but the most prominent and worrysome to me were the nerve related ones, my skin from head to toe would be on fire, severe muscle type pain but not usually a large muscle group pain but more a feeling of torn connective tissue, shooting pains mainly in feet and legs but sometimes in the arms and anywhere, feeling of sunburn and clothing iritating the skin (allydonia, hyperalgesia), temperature sensitivities and always feeling hot. Etc etc.

    I worked on the mental side of things and acceptance and rarely get what I'd relate to mental anxiety anymore BUT some of my symptoms remain and seem to be more and more painful as times goes on, they are the burning sensitive skin and stabbing nerve pains, the feet are by far the worst and wearing shoes is almost unbearable, It feels like someone driving a needle in to my feet at different parts that roam, the rest of my legs have the sunburn sensitive feeling. This can migrate to my arms and rest of the body at times, and my arms get itchy and sting when I itch, When I exercise lightly my small muscle tissues ache for many many days and feel torn. I fall asleep fine but wake very early and then the pain starts creeping in, so sleep is an issue. Keeping cold, or wearing no clothes is extremely soothing. Showers are heaven.

    Relaxation etc definitely has a positive impact and stress and activity a negative one.

    Doctors have no answers.

    I still continue to chase other causes, most recently having a nerve conduction study and brain MRI (all clear apart from 1 lesion on brain which I'm told is benign), but the logical part of me can only conclude that this is a stress response hyperstimulation / ANS disregulation based on the prolonged mental stress i put on my body with my health concerns... But there is still that percentage of me that finds that hard to accept given the unrelenting pain, especially now that I manage stress really well (have totally changed my lifestyle, moved to the beach, work part time etc, although we are raising two small children which can be testing).

    I've always been an achiever and successful healthy person, now I feel this condition has not only robbed me of my physicality but also my emotional confidence. I used to love hanging out with friends, partying etc. Now even having one beer and I feel more symptomatic the next day so my social life is non existant.

    Does this sound like TMS? Or have I developed neuropathy??

    MANY thanks
  2. untangledweb

    untangledweb Peer Supporter

    I’m no doctor, in fact, I’m a newbie as well, but it really sounds like TMS to me. You may have changed your lifestyle, but what about all of those all consuming emotions you were experiencing? They had to go somewhere. I just started reading the Great Pain Deception by Steve Ozanich. If you haven’t read it, please do yourself a huge favor and read it. If nothing else confirms TMS for you, this will.
    I think your bowel problems (which in Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life”, states are having issues with the bowel “elimination and letting things go”, kind of fits.
    I get nerve pain. Trust me. There’s nothing like it. I’m still working through my stuff.
    This is a great place to start.
    Lizzy likes this.
  3. Click#7

    Click#7 Well known member

    You should check out Dr. John Stracks MD in Chicago and listen to his story on Curable app.com.
  4. Gusto

    Gusto Peer Supporter

    I'm wary of running down additional rabbit holes chasing threatments when I feel i know this pain/hyperstimulation came from stress... It's just I'm impatient and when the pain/dscomfort is bad then so goes my self reasoning that there isn't anything wrong physically going on (although i know from all my research on the lymbic system that this is to be expected too) ... I feel that time, acceptance, and relaxation is key.. but I'm impatient and want to get on with my life :)
  5. Gusto

    Gusto Peer Supporter

    Note: all the bowel stuff went away a long time ago (probably once is topped fearing it), but I do occasionally get bouts of UTI type burning.
  6. untangledweb

    untangledweb Peer Supporter

    Are you inpatient for pain management?
    When the pain is really bad, so equally is the emotional stuffing. Have you started a journal? like from childhood? You’d be surprised at the seemingly small incidents that you’ve glossed over that actually have anger and rage buried underneath
  7. NicoleB34

    NicoleB34 Well known member

    i have some of these symptoms, and it took me years of doctors giving me treatments that didnt work, and only when i discovered TMS, did i realize that it all makes sense. i havent totally healed myself, mostly because i have trouble knowing HOW. i do often get lowering of my symptoms by accident, or doing certain activities, but i havent been able to consciously control it. however, the fact that my symptoms do fluctuate has proven to me that i dont have "nerve damage". Damage doesnt just come and go. Sensitivity from the brain does.
  8. Gusto

    Gusto Peer Supporter

    Thanks for the replies guys, much aporeciated. I had a great day yesterday, thought "stuff it", ate sugary food, drank a couple of beers, had a massage. Felt physically 80% whilst doing it, very liberating. Then was up most of the night with burning feet though and feel aching muscles tissue body wide today. Sigh
  9. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member

    That is fantastic news! I'm going to be bossy and tell you to write on your evidence sheet every positive detail from yesterday. There is lots of evidence of TMS in your post and reading it again every day will help with acceptance of the symptoms being generated in the mind. I am not sure, of course, but it seems like you need to get to 100% belief so that you can let your brain know the game is up, you know what is going on.

    A piece of the puzzle is, yesterday you had outcome independence, you didn't feed the gremlin, you lived like you don't care about what the brain did or didn't do, and that is cutting it off at the knees.

    Good luck with your recovery, believe it is TMS, because it explains symptoms that are like yours ☺️

  10. Gusto

    Gusto Peer Supporter

    Thanks Lizzy, I do believe it is an ANS issue, whether referred to as TMS, Stress Response Hyperstimulation, CFS, Fibro, etc etc. Ive had so much evidence of this over the years, and done so much research (probably a big piece of the problem) and it's so logical that my symptom progression occured and morphed the more stressors I put myself under. I theorise that the only thing holding me back is still that small percentage of me that has doubt around it, no doctor has ever diagnosed me, they find it bizarre, I'm always the one who presents the case to them about it being purely a stress disorder, even the neurologist says "I suppose it could be but I've never seen it" .. the fact that professionals are stumped worries me, I feel I know more about the CNS than any doctor I've seen.
    My hurdle now is recovery. I've tried many approaches, suppliments, etc to no avail. I've tried ignoring it (like the other day) but invariably end up paying the price physically in the days following, I've tried extended periods of relaxing, etc, councelling, etc.
    Before the perfect storm of life stressors hit me, and my anxiety to the associated symptoms I was a confident man, with a great life, I had an awesome childhood, I wouldn't consider myself to have been repressing any emotions (in fact me being too emotional I feel was part of the storm).
    I'm looking at the TMS theory and have read the mind body connection and it didn't quite gel with me with Sarno's causality explaination, or even his physiology hypothesis, maybe because ive read more recent studies on the subject. But i believe the end result condition is the same. Breaking the internal viscous cycle is key, and making it a virtuous one. I'm totally on board that changing my emotional and cognitive reaction to the symptoms is the answer... It's just so bloody hard when they are so overwhelming. I do feel sleep is a big piece of my puzzle, I've never really felt ive had consistent deep restorative sleep since this began, but the worse my sleep is the worse the symptoms the following day.

    Do you think I should try the SEP on this site?

  11. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Gusto,

    I was diagnosed with RSD/CRPS and it sounds extremely similar to your issue. It started in my feet and I'm still dealing with it a little in my knees. Anyway, it's TMS. You can read some of my threads here to get an idea. I know how frustrating it is when doctors can't help and you feel like some kind of freak.

    I hope this helps reassure you!!

    Lizzy and Click#7 like this.
  12. Click#7

    Click#7 Well known member

    How right you are...when they don't have an answer !
  13. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member

    I think from what you're saying, you understand TMS, but how to calm your system down is the next step. I recommend Alan Gordon's program here on the wiki for that. The SEP is excellent and if you are needing more straight Sarno basics, then start there first. Also, Claire Weekes books are an excellent way to work on not being afraid of fear. I use her techniques for not being afraid of the pain. Fear of the pain causes stress hormones which freak us out more. You can read about her on the wiki and many here have benefited from her help. I hope this helps.

    A note about the doctors you have spoken with about stress, most simply have not been taught anything about stress producing symptoms. A very few have realized a stress connection through their practice, but so few that it hardly has an impact. ☹️

  14. Gusto

    Gusto Peer Supporter

    Thanks All,

    Correct Lizzy I understand the stress response very well, have been a member of anxiety centre (those guys are great, and have referenced sarno) for some time, I have read all of Claire weeks works. Im even signed up on the gupta programme. all of these explainations including the TMS one all effectively point to the same causality and bodily state regardless of the physiological mechanisms behind it. I defo get it from an intellectual perspective. And yes the more I accept the Pain the less it has a hold of me.. I feel I'm getting there very very slowly.

    Side note, I somehow slept for 9hr last night and my pain is drastically diminished today.. plus im not at work and have minimal stressors or responsibilities today.

    I look forward to full healing and repair of my stress tolerance, as I know I'll get there ... I'm just too bloody impatient (yep a personality trait indicative of the condition).

    So would you look at SEP or Alan Gordon's program? I read that SEP integrates his program now?

    I appreciate all of your reassurance and responces guys. Hoping for you all a very successful healing
    Lizzy likes this.
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member

    With your knowledge it's a toss up, but I'm going to suggest Alan Gordon's program.

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