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My affirmation

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by trypp, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. trypp

    trypp Peer Supporter

    It's okay.

    I tend to catastrophize a lot. I tend to be super hard on myself (perfectionist/goodist/people pleaser). I've never gotten into affirmations because they always feel like denial to me. After all, when I catastrophize, I really believe the catastrophe. When I beat myself up, I know that I really, truly, did not meet my own standards. Likewise, I've always really resisted when other people try to soothe me, because it felt like they were arguing with something I know to be true.

    But when I say, "it's okay," it feels different. The "catastrophe" might happen, but, you know what? It's okay. I'll get through it. I always do. Likewise, maybe I did really screw up. But, that, too, is okay. I'm only human. It's okay.

    I think it feels better because I'm not arguing about facts. Rather, saying "it's okay" is about feelings. And while the cold, hard facts are unchangeable, it genuinely makes sense to me that in terms of how I have to feel about it, it's really not so bad.

    Anyway, I was feeling bad about something just now and thought that I'd share. I think it may be the only affirmation I need.
     
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi there trypp - I don't know why I thought about this while reading your post, but you might like this article by Alan Gordon - it's one of my favorites, and really helped me recently:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/a-word-about-outcome-independence.562/#post-6366

    I think what you said makes a lot of sense. You can't benefit from an affirmation if it feels false to you - although there are some practitioners of self-compassion who will argue that point! But you know what? We're all different - and different things are going to resonate with each of us.

    Cheers

    Jan
     
  3. Lori

    Lori Well known member

    I like IT'S OK!!! It's acceptance! :)
     
  4. Leslie

    Leslie Well known member

    Your post really resonated with me Trypp. Especially this part: "I really believe the catastrophe. When I beat myself up, I know that I really, truly, did not meet my own standards. Likewise, I've always really resisted when other people try to soothe me, because it felt like they were arguing with something I know to be true." You completely described me here.

    I've tried positive affirmations, lots of them, and they've always left me feeling even more like there's something wrong with me because they trigger feelings of guilt. I've recently become very aware of the many lies I tell myself (and subsequently believe without questioning) that result in my feeling worse, which was an eye-opening experience because I'm honest to a fault with other people. Positive affirmations seemed like just another lie to tell myself. I've tried over and over to use "I love and accept myself anyway" and that one has consistently left me feeling guilty and ashamed because it simply is not true at this point in my life. As thrilled as I will be to honestly say that to myself one day, right now it is a big fat lie, which just makes me feel worse when I use it.

    "It's ok" might just be the phrase I've been seeking for it's honesty. Yes, this, this, and that happened...but the the simple fact that I've survived to know all those things happened means they're in the past so "it's ok". Thank you!!
     

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