Inner Child

It sounds like the metaphor of an "inner child" really resonates with you. A certain amount of exploration could be quite helpful.

Just remember that the way to heal the inner child's wounds isn't necessarily by paying attention to them.

To see what I mean, consider the old famous "two wolves" legend:

One part inside of you is the part that you identify with your inner child. Another part of you is the adult part of you, which feels more confident and assured.

You feed these two parts by paying attention to them. Then, via something called brain plasticity, the parts that you attend to grow stronger.

In other words, paying a certain amount of attention to your inner child may be great. However, paying too much attention to it could be harmful.

I think that that is what happened to my friend, njoy, who I mentioned above:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/search/member?user_id=1308

At first, njoy seemed like a very happy and confident person. She had a terrific sense of humor, was spunky as can be, and generally seemed happy. Then she started exploring parts therapy on her own and over time, it felt like things went downhill for her. (The inner child or inner critic would be examples of "parts" of a person's psychology in a parts therapy.) She did parts therapy regularly and occasionally would talk about these incredibly esoteric "parts" of herself that she was trying to get in touch with and understand, as if that understanding would make her somehow better. In my opinion, what she didn't know was that she was already just fine! Of course I'm just a friend so I can't know for sure, but deep inside I feel that there was no deeply hidden part of her that she had to dig up that would make her feel better.

At first when she started exploring parts therapy and became quite the parts therapy evangelist, I supported it because she said it helped her and because I liked the insight it could provide.

I definitely agree that there is a lot to be gained from exploration. There is no doubt that early experiences can have large impacts on us. There is also no doubt that if you mindfully explore different parts of yourself (like an inner child), it may help you understand your own buttons better, as you mention. When you understand the buttons better, they lose some of their power over you because you can respond mindfully rather than automatically. A certain amount of introspection and exploration like this is a wonderful gift that you can take with you for the rest of your life. That's why I put a lot of journaling into the Structured Educational Program - a certain amount of searching can lead to insight that can be tremendously valuable and can make us healthier.

The only thing that I would say is that it is important to keep it in balance. There really is no scientific evidence that allows us to directly study something called an inner child, so everything you read about it comes from something that someone essentially made up. People will call themselves experts and do their best to look like experts so that they can sell books, but in the end, without science to help us figure out what is right and wrong, it's just a bunch of people making stuff up and it can easily stray into "woo." Some psychological treatments can in fact be harmful:
http://www.psychotherapybrownbag.co...t-iatrogenic-psychological-interventions.html
This is why working with a licensed practitioner can be so helpful, as a practitioner can steer you toward approaches that have better experimental track records and can be a valuable partner and presence "in the room."

So what does this mean? Well, as I said, it sounds like exploring the idea of inner child resonates with you, so reading the book sounds like a great opportunity to get to know a part of yourself more deeply. That insight could be a wonderful gift to give yourself.

However, two months after you finish the book, think again about the story of the two wolves. Remember that with real children, sometimes the most loving and helpful thing you can do for them is to challenge them even to the edge of what they might feel comfortable with. Sometimes a skinned knee hurts more the more you think about it and the best thing you can do is get back in the game. Just as with the physical part of TMS, chances are you are stronger than you think. Focusing on the wolves of strength and joy feeds the wolves of strength and joy, whereas focusing on the wolves of sorrow and injury feeds those wolves instead.

I hope this isn't too much. I completely agree with your idea that exploring the inner child can help a person understand their buttons and be very helpful. After 7 years of running this community and seeing so many stories, such as Nena's, it just gives you strong opinions. I hope my opinions give you food for thought and would love to hear others' thoughts on them.