I had a realization through doing this Pain Recovery Program and the SED. I haven't been very compassionate to myself. I listened to the audio clips of the man who treated others with compassion but not himself. That's me. After grad school is when I started to be this way. I felt so much was riding on being a good writer of poetry that I was unconsciously comparing myself to other poets. Many of them great classic poets. There is a fine line between admiration and comparison/criticism. I have a hard time accepting compliments. I feel shame if someone tells me something is good. It feels as though i have reached my limit and that what I produced is automatically crap. Why? I don't really know for sure. I know deep down inside I like it when people like what I do. So why do I automatically squash the feeling that comes with a compliment? I think fear that this is resting on laurels or that I will become complacent. My body feels tight when I write poetry. I can sense it's telling me it doesnt like the pressure and criticism. Since a lot of the time it's not a conscious effort. It has been difficult to know how to approach this. Any suggestions? The first step I took which did help was Im not going to treat myself this way. Beyond that Im not very sure.