how should i continue recovery? im stuck in pain cycle.

Hi.I'm new to forum.
Three months back i read Healing back pain and unlearning pain and started filling the workbook.

Its been 3 years since i have been struggling with repeated cycles of lower back herniation,sciatica,Head aches, sleepless nights(im not yet clear if it was depression/anxiety or due to sciatica pain activity).
-Breathing excercises were not much helpful for sleep and pain
-Phsical therapy/ chiropractor couldn't do much.
-Pills were waste

My current situation is that i've been getting nice sleep for 7/10 days after doing workbook(I feel ive no more repressed emotions with me).Headaches are gone.

But what still hurts is my quads and sciatic nerve pain in legs and those sleepless nights.
I get de-motivated when i do some light physical acitivity like swimming or running (never more than 15 mins)

my quads and legs starts to feel as if blocked by pain.Then for whole day the pain keeps shooting and irritaing my legs and my peace.When i go to bed my muscles start twitching(lower back muscles) and nervess are crawling under skin which keep my brain active.This starts the cycle of pain and im unable to sleep that day.

And then i start to doubt if i am really recovering?

Basically when im at rest and im getting good sleep.i feel my legs are ok.
But as the sun sets and day is ending,pain starts rising and the whole trouble starts again until i have a sleepless night.

The next day of sleepless night is living hell(due to more pain and dizzy head)
what should i do to stop this? its the pain in my quads thats troubling.

i do short run, quads gets blocked. i go for a swim round,quads get blocked.i walk for half an hour,quads get blocked along with lower back pain.

Next i know is sleepless night
I feel im not doing a positive recovery.im stuck in cycle.

 

Hello Unlearning! Welcome to the forum.
It sounds like you've already had some success after working through some feelings via the workbook. That's great!
It's often the case that after experiencing some relief in one area, the pain intensifies elsewhere. Your subconscious is rebelling because you've figured out the game it's been playing.
I'm assuming that you have been to a dr. and ruled out an underlying cause for the sciatica. If so, keep on plugging with the program. I recommend working your way through the SEP or Structured Education Program found on this site.
Congrats on your success so far! Keep on keeping on!
Blessings,
Gigi

 

what else could be the reason for sciatica? my doctor points out herniated disc every time.Even my shows that.
It started with pain in right leg,3 yr back.now it troubles both.

Any solid that i might be missing in recovery? like workbook etc.

 

Yes, Dr. Sarno, who first identified TMS, was originally puzzled by people with back pain. Some with positively scary x-rays would exhibit little pain, yet other people with seemingly no organic cause would experience horrific pain. That's partly what led him to found the TMS movement.My own personal back pain, which kept me from sitting for years, was attributed to a very mild scoliosis.
The SEP and the accompanying exercises and activities are a great way to proceed. Alan’s Pain Rcovery Program, Dr. Schubiner's book, and many other resources are helpful too, as is the workbook you have. The activities will lead you to explore many feelings and emotions that may underlie your pain.

 

This article explains how stress alone can lead to low back pain/leg pain. And I believe is evidence for the concept of tms pain. Hope it helps!

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ejp.682
"In patients with non‐specific low back pain, the appearance of new RFs in nociceptive spinal neurons of the low back may explain the expansion of pain to the lower leg in humans (Andersen et al., 2012)."

 

I started reading alans program and i could relate to make brain feel safe thing.
what should i do to make it feel safe? just telling brain that it is safe sounds dumb.
I want to start jogging, but the pain that follows along with sleepless night is crippling.

how many days will it take me to recover? i want to live my normal life.

 

The thing is, your motivation for doing it makes all the difference. It's more effective if at your core you are genuinely trying to make yourself feel safe. Telling your brain it's safe, just to get out of pain won't really provide that safety you really want.

Alans program teaches tools for learning to feel safe. Try them out and use what makes you feel best.

And as bad as the pain hurts, calm yourself with the knowledge it's an illusion. We have learned pain means damage. But our pain systems have gone on high alert and are interpreting normal sensations as painful. So things like pressure and stretching, normal sensations, just feel like pain.

 

Hi, can you tell me what book and workbook I need to help me heal the pain?

 

Welcome, Laura! I usually suggest that people start with the Structured Education Plan or SEP, found on this site, but there are other resources as well. See my post above.
Blessings,
Gigi

 

Hi Laura,

I noticed that nobody mentioned conditioning with you so I thought I'd write to you here. It might be that you have such negative emotions related to exercise now, that you are expecting it to hurt. Even though your conscious self 'thinks' that you're doing exercise to help improve your pain, your unconscious still believes that exercise is bad for you - thereby producing more pain. Unfortunately, there's no magic trick to convince it otherwise, what helped me was to look at exceptions. For instance you might have exercised with a friend and it wasn't painful at all (because you were distracted), or you might have done something else in a hurry and there was no pain (until you remembered that there should be). I'm not sure whether you get me. Another way could be to keep repeating to yourself that exercise should NOT hurt. Keep drumming it into your head.
One other thing to try convincing your subconscious is this: it really DOESN'T MAKE SENSE that you feel no pain while you exercise, and that then you're in pain after (if there's an injury or other serious problem, you will feel such pain DURING exercise that you will have to stop). Are you in pain/blocked while running/while swimming? If not this is your proof that you shouldn't be in pain later on either.
P.S I couldn't walk with my intense piriformis, sciatica, hip and calf pain two years ago. I followed the program religiously, got better in 4 weeks and I'm still pain free and feeling awesome Good luck!

 

I'm ready to bear the pain that tms gives,but what demotivates me the most is no sleep day.I feel like all the positive tms mindset in vain.it disturbs me to core

what happens in night is,i go to bed in confusion that if this full sleep day or no sleep day.I wake up in morning only to realize that i haven't slept at night.i was just lying unconscious.i wasn't able to get relaxing sleep.
Its a weird feeling.Its like going to real sleep,you have some shallow dreams.you don't remember what happened at night.
But still im sure that i haven't got relaxing sleep like other days.

what the f is this phenomena?
can anyone relate.

 

Abraham Low has a good book that includes this and relates to tms.

Basically he says go to sleep, not worry about whether you will sleep or not. Trust your body will get the rest it needs, even if it doesn't feel like it did. He explains the more comfortable you get with being uncomfortable, the more comfortable you will grow to be.

 

You feel that there are no repressed emotions. But there is no way to "feel " them, because they are in the subconscious. If you feel anything then in means that you have dealt only with your conscious part. There must be something that is still "eating you" in the inside. It can be a part of your personality triggering your subconscious reservoir of rage and fear, or something inside that you have not addressed. The fact that is starts getting worst when you are getting ready to rest as the day ends, means that your subconscious start getting over reactive at the time that you try to calm your conscious mind. You have to force you a little bit over the pain maybe a few times when you run so you get your body to know that there is nothing to fear, that you are not going to kill yourself for running more than 15 mins. Maybe you should consider taking some therapy with a TMS psychologist so you can get more in deep to what is still there? Beside that, you need to understand and accept the mechanism of action and what activates it. You need to go over the mechanism in your mind while it is happening so you can de-activate it. The de-motivation is being started by yourself. Have you tried going with someone else that might ease your mind or just make you think in something else, like not taking into account the amount of time you are running? Maybe use some music and not bringing your watch with you?

 

I just realized I haven't cried for once in past 6-7 yrs since a bad incident happened that made me fake strong that way. But I have already affirmed and accepted it in workbook.
What will make me cry? Will it help get off emotions.am I still repressing them.how should I take it out.