Hey all, do I have TMS?

Hey all! I'm 17 years old, and I think I have TMS. Ever since the summer of 2018, I've had chronic pain through out my body. It used to be primary my wrists and forearms, with tenderness and aching pains, and now it's spread to my shoulders and legs (especially the knees and below). I have reason to be believe that some real injury occurred due to over excercising and doing intense workouts almost daily during the summer, since I occasionally had sharp pains when using my hands to do certain tasks. I cut down on the intense workouts and started jogging on the treadmill, but I've remained pretty inactive because of the pain in my legs. It's as if my legs are extremely weak and even standing for certain amounts of time make them achy now. I feel a lot weaker than I used to feel and I'm scared that Ill never be back to normal. My entire body cracks and joints pop too. For example, my knees crack whenever I squat down. I thought that I had RSI but then I read Dr. Sarno's Mind Body Prescription which lead me to this forum. I've tried to tell myself that everything's imaginary and that I'm a perfectly healthy and strong teenager, but it's not working well. It's been almost 10 months and I don't see any major improvements at all, granted that I only read this book a month or two ago. I've gone to my general physician who found nothing wrong with me, but she did refer me to a joint specialist. Due to certain circumstances, I am not able to go to that specialist. Some of my character traits are that I am extremely worried about things, I have anxiety, and also have OCD. There are also a coupl of things in my life that I am unhappy with at the current moment. Thanks for the help.
P.S. are there any other teens or young adults that are suffering from TMS?

 

Hey there. I'm not an expert but I've studied hard and have some limited but pretty good experiences with this.

I cant say for sure, yes you do have TMS but having OCD and anxiety in the first place is considered a symptom and a fueling factor for TMS. I too have anxiety and some depression, I dont have OCD but I tend to obsess. Its really hard for me to accept this diagnosis too because there are so many questions that are natural for humans, especially those who think way too much.

I'm not trying to dismiss your reasoning but cracking and popping joints just happen. You may just be taking normal human nuances and telling yourself it's a symptom. My knees crack every time as well without pain. You're 17 now, the more you age the more your body is going to crack and pop.

What have you tried as far as convincing yourself its TMS? And do you doubt that you ever truly stopped thinking about your pain and lived as though it didnt exist?

I will say this though. The brains pathways are reinforced the more you think if something, so for ruminators, I think those pathways get triggered a bit deeper and harder to overcome. My guess is you have TMS as RSI is a lie. I have very real pain and its very seriously changed since I have accepted. I have years of anxiety under my belt, I have learned how to really convince myself of things and introspect as a way of life so it's possible that age could factor into mental control but at 17... your body is a healing machine. Unless you have a disease of some sort. You should be better.

 

Was there anything traumatic or very stressful around the time your symptoms appeared? This can trigger your mind to create symptoms as a distraction and as Bicepmuffins above states anxiety and OCD reinforce in your mind the physical nature of the pain. I understand the GP sending you to a joint specialist at your age wouldn't help with confidence about a benign mind body cause for the pain. But it is not your body that is in trouble. To me it does sound like you have a touch of TMS. I think at your age this won't be ingrained so you should be able to affect positive change fairly easily. Have you looked at the Alan Gordon Recovery program on here. It is free and would be a good start for you.

 

Hey birdsetfree and Bicepmuffibs, thanks for the advice and reassurance.

To Bicepmuffin, honestly the only thing I've done to convince myself that it's TMS has been assuring myself and saying to myself things like "I'm strong and healthy" and "It's all in my mind and nothing else", while also trying to dig deeper and find why I'm in pain and what I'm angry. Other than that, I haven't journaled or anything like that yet. I try to stay strong and believe that I truly have TMS and that it's nothing to worry about, but keep down I feel like I'm not fully convinced. Like sure, it's probably TMS, but what if it's actually not and I'm sick. I get so scared of this and always need to be reassured. Could you leave tips on how you dealt with this anxiety? I would appreciate it a lot.

To birdsetfree, honestly I don't think I had anything traumatic going on but for me I felt like I was working out so much so that I could fit society's standard of beauty. Perhaps that's some internal rage? And these days I've been feeling bitter and resentful that I have all these pains and sores while those around me seem perfectly fine. I know I shouldn't think this way but I can't help it sometimes. Maybe it's the narcissist in me. But besides that, I can't recall anything too traumatic that would lead to this. Also thank you for suggesting the recovery plan. I'll definitely take a look at that!

 

When I was your age, I'm 28 now, I used to work out daily and intensely out of insecurity and because I never felt quite attractive enough but in hindsight, I was actually quite good looking. This motivation was a result of insecurity that came from a lack of support and comfort from the people I was supposed to trust to mould me. It's very obvious now that ive hit adulthood but at the time, I was very self involved and it was difficult to actually reach me on a mature emotional level to the extent that you can typically with maturity of adulthood. I told myself I coped well and made every excuse that my problems were real and that therapy was a sham for me as my depression and anxiety symptoms began. That level of egotism and resistance is what really hurt me growing into adulthood. First step is when someone suggests something, no matter what it is, take a moment to assess it. Get second and third opinions from trusted parties. Dont dismiss things because of the personality you feel you must maintain in a social setting like high school. Life will change completely and you will regret it.

You dont need trauma such as rape or abuse to have these experiences. It could be as simple as a parent who didnt show enough love that geared you mentally to overcompensate and impress people for attention or to feel good enough. It could be simply the pressures of the social media based world you've grown up in.

Not for nothing. For many, the efforts you made arent good enough to win against TMS. I personally dont get persistent benefits by just telling myself, I'm healthy. You really should start journaling. You cant expect results if you dont follow the program and the typical criteria for this is in adults who might have more time to accept their ego and deal with that narcissism you mentioned. I dealt with a huge ego and narcissism going from high school into my early 20s and it's why I'm here now.

My advice. Journal. See a therapist. Try to accept your diagnosis and then open yourself to scrutiny. This was not meant as a bashing at all, I just wish I could have told myself at 17 and wish my 17 year self wouldn't have said "pfff, maybe for you but I'm the shit. " and rattle off excuses I believed that were false bc i was more intelligent or hardworking than others.

 

Firstly I want to acknowledge how mature and insightful you are for a 17 year old. You are working things out for yourself very well. Getting advice on this form is also a great support.

In order for you to come to terms with the psychological nature of your symptoms, it helps to keep looking for and building up evidence of this. I'm sure if the GP really thought there was something serious they would have let you know. You are very young and no doubt very healthy. What I do see is evidence of is an inner bully that is scaring you with dangerous thoughts which are keeping you very preoccupied. This will set off your fight or flight and your mind is dealing with that by giving you physical symptoms to focus on. If you keep looking for evidence of this you will find it. Then start to rebuild confidence in your health.

Pressure on oneself due to low self esteem and a consequent drive to fit in is a direct route to TMS symptoms. It generates inner rage and tension. Start with getting to know yourself by paying attention to and giving space around your own feelings. Take time to allow these to come to the forefront so that you can encourage your authentic self.

 

Once again, thank you both for your insightful advices. I'm extremely glad that I finally made an account on this forum. I feel reassured from what you two have said and will be applying your advices to my recovery.

 

Have you seen the app called "curable"? As a teenager I think you'd really connect with it. You can download it for free initially and listen to alot of the info (its based around TMS) that way and see how you like it. They offer writing exercises, meditations, Brain training and eduction for TMS and chronic pain recovery. Alot of people are having success with it.

 

Hey sweetandsimple, I just checked out the app and so far, it looks extremely promising. It's soothing to be reassured by the narrator and the info is really helpful. I would've never guessed that an app like this existed. Thank you for the terrific recommendation.