Hi all, I'm new and this is my first post. I first experienced TMS pain as RSI wrist pain in the summer of 2011, whilst writing up my dissertation for my MSc. I simply thought that I had been typing too much (12 hours a day for a month) and after I finished and handed in the dissertation it went away. Then in October 2011 I got my first grad job, and moved out of home properly at work we got this talk about RSI from the health and safety representative which caused me to worry about getting RSI. Sure enough about 2 weeks later I got severe shooting pains up the outer wrist of my mouse hand. These pains quickly spread to my left wrist and began to worsen rapidly, until I usually had a dull ache for most of the day with shooting pains whilst using a computer. I got an ergonomic mouse from work, which made it worse. So I then went to a doctor who told me I had RSI and needed to rest my wrists. Due to some career complications and what the doctor said and because I'd always wanted too I decided to go travelling for 4 months. 16 weeks of relatively no computer usage. During my time off I hurt my back quite badly during a bunji jump (more on this later) However then I started on a different grad scheme and the RSI came back just as bad as it had ever been. This caused me to panic. I saw 3 physiotherapists and a chiropractor between August 2012 and February 2013. NOTHING they tried helped at all. I also tired all sorts of iceing, massage, acupuncture etc. I read the mindbody prescription by John Sarno in December 2012 and initially dismissed it, the pain felt so real how could it be emotionally induced? By early 2013 the symptoms had worsened to including shooting pains on both sides of both wrists, dull aching in my hands, numbness of my mouse hand, aches in my upper shoulder muscles and occasionally my triceps. On top of this I had a recurring lower back ache from where I had hurt myself during the bunji jump, despite the injury happening 9 months earlier. I re-read the mindbody prescription in February and then the divided mind. And this time round I saw a lot of the personality traits Sarno was talking about in me. I am a super competitive perfectionist. My childhood wasn't exactly great either. So I started journalling in March. I also stopped all stretching exercises for back and wrists and try to ignore my posture. I've also seen a TMS speciallist (Georgie Oldfield) in the UK who has told me there is nothing structurally wrong with me. Some of the results have been good. I am much less scared of the pain and of doing myself permanent damage than I was. My back pain is on the retreat and the RSI pain now I only occurs in my wrists and forearms. However there are definitely some obstacles that I think are preventing me from making a better recovery, which is the main reason I decided to start posting on here. Firstly through all this from August 2013-Now I have stayed at my computer intensive job. Every time I sit down and use a computer it hurts (it hurts typing this). Sometimes it hurts a lot and can hurt later at home away from the computer. And that brings back the fear and whilst I'm on the computer I worry about hurting myself and I expect the pain to come and I can't seem to get myself out of that cycle. Secondly I have some lingering doubts about TMS. I tell myself I have TMS not RSI I try hard to accept it, some days I do believe 100%, but I still sometimes get that little voice in my head that comes completely unbidden, you know the one that tells you to stop or slow down when your on a run the one that tells you to give up when something is tough, and it says "you have RSI, TMS is a load of crap". Does anyone else get this/ had this? Some of what I think feeds this doubt is that I can be a very angry person, my anger if often not unconscious at all, but very concious indeed. This was longer than expected, but I think it is best to get everything down. Any comments, advice or feedback would be very much appreciated. Thanks, Calum P.S. a special thanks to Forest For Trees if I hadn't seen your youtube videos I would have never found out about this site.