Having trouble believing dry eye is tms

Hi Kitty Kat. This is helpful! I wish I was so lucky to have my dry eye vanish as quickly as you. I have also been going through an angry time as well. I'm just afraid this is permanent I guess.

 

I’m so glad this is helpful to you. I completely understand your fear. Before I read the book, I thought I would have to quit my job, I stopped socialising, I couldn’t look people in the eye. I felt like my life was over. It was truly awful. But reading Healing Back Pain gave me the absolute faith that my brain had created this situation. So whenever my eye was bothering me – I would laugh at it, and have a little conversation with my brain. I think having that faith was the most important thing.

 

That's a good way to look at it. I feel the same way. For me it is both eyes and now I have red veins in my eyes which I hate the most. Makes me feel self-conscious.

 

I too have lots of red veins in my eye that was affected, and I was very self-conscious about it for a while. I spent a lot of time looking in the mirror and getting upset about it. I now avoid completely looking at it and thinking about it. I have actually realised lately that most people have at least some red veins in their eyes. I had never noticed that before! I think the more time you spend thinking about it, the worse it gets (in your head anyway).

 

I never use to have any in my eyes so it is definitely difficult for me to accept.

 

I suffered dry eye syndrome. Especially upon wakening, felt like ice picks into my eyes (both). Redness, yes, inability to wear the contacts I'd worn every day for 10 years, yes. Went through new rx in eyeglasses every 6 months, yes Worry every night as my head hit the pillow, yes. Start to affect even my ability to read Dr. Sarno's books or the TMSwiki, yes. (in my case, I'd been 'diagnosed' with atrophied Meibomian glands, and told I slept with my eyes open. I endured worsening symptoms as I wore a mask to sleep in at night to keep moisture on my eyes, underwent questionable 'Lipiflow' treatment, I did all the 'corrections' to the way I blinked (since I'd also been diagnosed as a partial blinker) and only later did I independently come to realize due to my age Meibomian gland atrophy seems to be a typical aspect of aging, and since not every older person suffers the pain of dry eye syndrome I could myself eliminate my atrophied glands as a 'cause and effect.' I didn't have anybody to look at my eyes while I slept, but I had a strong feeling that I actually do not sleep with my eyes open (that was a hard 'physical' 'cause' for me to shake since a 'trusted' doctor had told me his test performed awake sitting with my head tilted back 'proved' I did.) I did find relief in correcting my blinks (deliberately pressing my eyelids using my eye muscles after closing), which supported my brain's acceptance of a physical cause. I found relief in warm compresses when I awoke as well as Refresh Endura eyedrops touted on many dry eye sites I'd obsessed reading. So, again, I was treating a physical cause. Which is numero uno why a TMS issue will NOT heal. The hardest thing to let go was the warm compresses because they were indeed relaxing, whether they 'treated' my dry eyes or not. What finally was the breakthrough for me was more in depth personal exploration of the 'source' for my 'rage' inside my TMS manifestations. I kept excusing my dry eyes as not being possible TMS because I had already 'cured' myself within 3 weeks of terrible life-altering sciatica a few years earlier. So I mistakenly thought I "got it all"--like a surgeon may say when removing cancerous tumors when I cured my back and leg pain. That back and leg pain was cured while reading Dr. Sarno's and Fred Amir's books when I'd come to realize that my doctor's 'diagnosis' that I had fused L5 and L4 vertebrae and that that plus my arthritis of the spine and R hip was the 'cause' of my sciatica and leg pain (pain I'd measure as a 75 on scale of 1-10 and I am a very stoic person with a high tolerance for pain...my #1 journal entry was a wish to wake up without groaning.) I have realized that, again, fusion of those vertebrae in older people is common, as is arthritis, and since a not all people with that same X-ray have pain, then what the x-ray shows can't be what causes pain in those who have pain. It's merely a concurrent condition, not a causal condition. I was self-motivated to fight off that spinal diagnosis primarily because the doctor gave me a laundry list of activities and postures to avoid. A a new list of poses I was supposed to do to alleviate my back pain. I had practiced yoga for 10 years and now saw these restrictions being a limitation on what were in fact my favorite & most relaxing postures. The postures that created a feeling of full body massage every time I did them, my go-to poses which had lifted untold stress off my back for a decade were ones I wasn't supposed to do. I did as I was told and continued to feel worsening pain. I liked some of the new poses I learned but I hated the other restrictions. Finally, while reading Fred Amur's book, I spoke back to my pain calling it faux pain (and also 'F-O' pain--substitute a naughty word for the'F' and you know what I was telling my pain) as I addressed the psychological stress I was under when the pain arose and when I back-tracked to the first time I'd felt the pain and then mapped out the vicious cycle I'd created by 'expecting' the pain in similar physical circumstances. I considered myself 'healed' when I could do any and all my fave yoga poses pain free, when I could also do all the things I'd previously done in pain, PAIN-FREE (drive long distances, sit for long hours at a computer, do some leg weight exercises I'd been doing when the pain first arose.) I hadn't followed my doctor's instructions and I also hadn't had any recommended surgeries or steroid injections. I knew I was onto something. With dry eye it's been much more difficult. I can't test 'sleep' and dry eye the way I could test leg pain when I sat for a long drive, or I avoided long drives to see if the leg pain came without the long drive. I have to sleep. I also became 'addicted' to the physical treatments--eye drops and soothing hot compresses. When I also recognized that I didn't DO the new yoga poses I'd learned to ALLEVIATE my back pain, rather, I simply ENJOYED the poses, I also came to realize I could take a hot compress to my eyes mid-day because it felt good not because it 'treated' my early morning dry eye/melted my stuck meibomian glands. Dry eye came back constantly and consistently with sleep. I certainly had a little voice in my head (my doctor's) telling me I slept with my eyes open. I finally decided to talk back to my doctor (the one in my head, not my real one) and yelled I do NOT sleep with my eyes open, I didn't have dry eye for 45 years, I didn't just start sleeping with my eyes open and in fact my daughter as a toddler creepily DID sleep with her eyes fully open and never suffered dry eye pain, so shut up little voice! And it got worse without drops without compresses. I saw repeated setbacks when I did my power blinks or reached for my drops after long computer work. But I remembered that my sciatica had had setbacks, too. It took me again about 3 weeks (where I can assure you at no time did my corneas suffer any damage nor did I go blind) it was tough but I got to the other side of the dry-eye mountain. Pain Gone. Eye drops not needed. F-O dry eye syndrome. (Another mental assist I got was researching the enormity of profits made it the last few decades in treating dry eye syndrome. Follow the money!)

 

I had dry eyes and dry mouth, dry skin etc also! The rheumatologist kept calling it sjogren's disease. They are gone now as I have done work with another similar program. Best wishes!

Annnnd....I just realized how old this thread is. Hope you are doing better!

 

I know this is an old post but I came across it about a month ago in a desperate search for any information I could find about healing dry eyes through mindbody techniques. I suffered from extreme, debilitating dry eyes for over five years following PRK eye surgery and I believed my doctors every time they told me my condition would only get worse over time. I learned about TMS about a year ago but I could only hope and dream that it could apply to my dry eyes because everything I'd ever been told about my condition was that it was progressive and "my fault" for getting an elective vision correction surgery in the first place. When I came across your post, something inside my brain clicked and I decided to go cold turkey off of all of my eye drops, ointments, gels, treatments, etc. It was terrifying, but I kept telling my brain that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my eyes. It took about 8 days of discomfort and uncertainty, but by the 8th day, my eye pain was 80-90% better. Now it has been one month and my eyes are completely fine. No dryness, no discomfort, nothing. My brain had just been conditioned to believe that I needed all of those drops in order to function, but I didn't need them at all; they were only endlessly prolonging my symptoms of pain and discomfort. I want to thank you, whoever you are, for sharing your experience, because without your post I don't know if I would've had the courage to reject my "dry eyes" diagnosis as confidently as I did. But my life is forever changed, and I can't thank you enough.

 

Hello, new member! Lovely to hear your eyes are perfectly fine! Welcome to the TMS wiki. So much love here.

Update to my own battles with a string of TMS: turns out my insomnia, depression, sciatica, carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, arthritis pain (not the arthritis, just the pain part), essential tremor, dry eyes, and even OCD were ALL TMS and one recent TikTok I saw (sorry, I've lost the source to give credit) had this comment specifically about DEPRESSION: Think of 'depressed' as 'deep rest' that you need 'deep rest' from the character you have been trying to play in life. (I think it's in Howard Schubiner's book the whole ego/super ego/id psychology thing that expands upon how/why we feel pressure to meet societal ideals and expectations and messaging and betray our true selves in the process) Sit with that, recognize your authentic self, be honest and simply free yourself to become that person. AWARENESS of what you're avoiding looking at is the key to resolving TMS. Although it isn't an actual requirement that you FIX that thing to heal, just to be aware of it, I can tell you that, for me, fixing mine (divorcing a diagnosed pathological narcissist & forthrightly exposing his behaviors to the light of day every time he tried to gaslight me back into his web of lies--ha ha his name was Webb--and reflecting back onto now dead mother and estranged siblings as well as ex-BF whom now I can see should also have had the same clinical diagnosis) wrapped up all my lingering issues with TMS. I ain't broken. I'm not abnormal. I WAS neglected and abused (severely, in several permutations, for 56 years) But now my life is mine to BE FREE. I haven't woken up with a groan in years and the dry eyes coming on with relation to sleep? Fixed as soon as I bravely gave myself permission to move OUT OF the marital bed beside that arsehole.

 

Wow, the idea that depression is "deep rest" from the character you've been trying to play in life is so interesting. I'm definitely the type of person who puts everyone else's needs before my own. I really need to read Howard Schubiner's book. I'm still working on recognizing my authentic self, but I have a newfound sense of confidence and zest for life now that my dry eyes are gone. I was really hopeless at times, but now my life seems so full of potential. Thank you again for your post, and I'm so glad you're living a chronic pain free life that is true to your authentic self.

 

I should correct the 'dry eyes' wording. It's not that the dry eyes went away the PAIN went away 100%.

I had a skilled ophthalmologist examine my eyes and he did identify that my 'old' eyes lacked some of the oil components of my tears. That atrophied Meibomian glands thing (that. like Sarno describes in his books about how the fusing of the lower vertebrae is a natural occurrence with aging and walking upright, is a natural occurrence with aging eyes) When my brain focused upon that--oh my gosh! my eyes are old, dry, etc. I had incredible PAIN. Because (mentally) I felt 'broken' (Sarno talks a lot about how the human body just isn't that fragile, folks! LOL) But all I had do was recognize, gee, my dearest elderly Aunts and Uncles, my grandmother never once complained about painful dry eyes, WTF? I examined 'why' and saw they had happy marriages, happy lives. And as I recognized that my 'broken' was a gaslight from the abuser I was married to (that I deserved the bad treatment he felt entitled to doll out upon me, out kids, our pets, physical objects). Sure, I actually probably do have 'dry' eyes but, like you, I have ZERO pain. (As I went through the toughest moments of my divorce that pain and sciatica zinged me a few times and in an instant I vanquished it with, 'Oh, no you don't, you don't fool me, you are a TMS, go away. I got this.'

One other thing: your sense of hopelessness. Boy, I can sure identify with THAT. Mine got to near total insomnia, and depression so bad that I'd crossed over into 'anhedonia' (inability to feel anything at all--no taste to foods, no spring in my steps, no laugh in my heart watching my dear children's playful antics, no joy, no curiosity, no anger, nothing!) THAT WAS A SUPER DUPER SCARY state to be in. Icing on that cake was several deaths among family and close friends and then I was hit with a truly maddening ear ringing (tinnitus) all the while groaning to get out of bed awakening with searing painful eyes and arthritis pain head to toe--even as my life DEMANDED I wake up and be on-task asap and stay on task all day til my head hit the pillow raising 2 kids at the age of multiple after school activities before they could drive themselves (and we lived 12 miles from town) had a large home and large property to maintain (in fire seasons without any automatic yard sprinklers, in winter heating with wood I had to split haul and clean up after, in spring and fall several fruits trees, tons of weeding), a diabetic dog to test and treat twice daily, take out to pee in middle of the night, horses to tend to (my now-ex's not mine!), and juggling financial hits my ex constantly incurred on our budget. My ex worked deployed assignments I was alone with it ALL. No family in 2000 miles.

So I mention it and more details of my story here to give others possibly experiencing this HOPE. That anhedonia was me in about 2012 to 2014.

I had a supportive GP I was once a year for annual check up who more than anything LISTENED to me even though she herself found no cures for me (and in fact later she learned from me a me a lot about Sarno's mindbody) On my own (one of my 'problem's I was always alone/neglected with no help, my parents had been neglectful now were dead, my spouse never did share goals, his mindset was always what could I do for him, feeling entitles to be king of the castle) I read so many books up late at night (exacerbating my dry eyes and arthritis ha ha) on a Kindle I can't tell you which parts gave me the keys to success but maybe a combination. So I'll recommend (libraries may have them for free borrowing even as e books) : I started with Jastreboff's Tinnitus Retraining book in 2015 trying to get a grip on a maddening ear ringing I'd developed. That somehow led me to all of Sarno's books in 2016, and also Fred Amir's Rapid Recovery from Neck and Back Pain, David Clark's They Can't Find Anything Wrong! 2018 Schubiner's book Unlearn Your Anxiety and Depression, Steven Ray Ozanich The Great Pain Deception (an expansion of sorts on all of Sarno's books), and for me since an emotionally neglected childhood played a huge roll in my people pleasing and hopelessness: in 2019 Adult Children of emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson, Running on Empty Overcoming Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Janice Webb, I think also Daniel Amen's Feel Better Fast and Make It Last which details brain changes science and that gets kind of complex, but the takeaway I had was his talking about not letting ANTs crawl all over you: ANTs being 'automatic negative thoughts' and I was in cognitive behavior counseling (for 3rd time in my life) as well. On my own I was searching for the root cause of my self-hatred as well as my people-pleasing and started reading a variety of books first on passive aggressive people (that wasn't quite 'it') then books about 'boundaries' (still not quite 'it') so I started in late 2019 listening to YouTubes: SelfLoveU, which thank God the algorithms then suggested to me Little Shaman, Dr. Les Carter, Ross Rosenburg, Richard Grannon and soon after that I actively started marriage counseling--at $100/session with super duper psychologist with decades of special expansive training and practice and licensing for which I sacrificed to make happen/my now-ex chronically showed up late or 'forgot' appts, and criticized the counselor all week after sessions, but after $1000 it led to my now-ex's diagnosis as a pathological narcissist and so, for me, that was sort of my BINGO! moment. (I'd dx'd him myself once I'd started reading various books about narcissistic personality disorder but was afraid to judge since I wasn't a psychologist!) All the blocks in the Tetris game fell into place and I won the psychological mystery. It's so clear to me, in hindsight. Almost like a cartoon version of life with a narcissist. So, post my joyful divorce (joyful inside me threatening, scary, and grievous on the outside) my healing continued through 2020 and 2021 with Pete Walker's Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving and The Tao of Fully Feeling.

 

You are right - the dry eyes are still there but the pain is gone! I'm sure my meibomian glands are as atrophied as ever. I too couldn't reconcile why I had horrific dry eyes (mine started at age 23) with the fact that most people in their 80s and 90s never experience dry eyes. It just didn't make sense. I can't believe you were coping with insomnia, depression, tinnitus, dry eyes, and arthritis pain all at once! And with all of the pressure you had on you, your recovery is definitely hope inspiring! I've just read The Mindbody Prescription and The Divided Mind, something by Schubiner is on my to-read list next! There is so much to learn, thank you for all of the recommendations. I'm still struggling with anxiety and a little bit of depression, but now I view those two things as just more manifestations of TMS and they don't scare me as much as they used to. I'm so glad you got rid of your former spouse. Good riddance!!!

 

I have ADHD but so I'm sorry if I didn't read through every response.

I just wanted to say that I have very light-sensitive eyes and have had them for 10 years. All my eye doctors have said that my eyes are perfectly mine. It was only last year when a optometrist has found that there are demodex mites living in my eye lashes. Apparantly, they can be transferred to people through dogs. I will start treatment soon.

Could it be that this was purely physical ?

And how is the OP of this thread doing what has been the conclusion ?

 

Hi! How is your eyepain now? Do u still have this issue?

 

@Bernardomelo, the OP posted a profile message in 2019 when someone else asked this. Just click on her profile picture.

Also, did you read any of the many excellent responses on this very old thread? I've found posts by at least three other people reporting success in treating dry eyes as TMS. I also responded on your other similar post.

 

Hi. Can I ask you how are you now? My ophtalmo tell me too that I have demodex mites. Hope to have an anwer. Thanks you

 

Hi. Very hopeful. How are your eyes now please? Thanks you

 

welcome, newcomer! I have not 'suffered' dry eyes in years. I do continue to start each day with a wet washcloth folded in half and then into 3rds and microwaved for 45 seconds on a stoneware saucer. I place the cloth upon my eyes and the warm saucer upon my belly and return to bed to think about the start of my busy day. I do NOT do this eye cloth to 'treat' any 'physical malady' of my eyes I simply do it because it is my spa treatment habit to slow down and start my day focused on me and MY comfort and needs. My much younger than me daughter who has never had dry eyes issues did it once with me and she remarked it made her feel like she had 'new baby eyes' and so I, too, enjoy that feeling. I am rarely kind to myself and this is one way I am. Every day. (the warm saucer on my belly is followed by me enjoying my morning cup of coffee and those two combine to get my morning BM on the way ha ha!) Interestingly. Once I divorced a husband I'd spent 27 years with (in 2019 he was officially diagnosed as a malignant narcissist by our couples therapist and that gem of knowledge--actually confirmation/validation of my own thoughts but I dared never be arrogant enough to diagnose him myself, I ALWAYS believed I MUST BE WRONG--because he always said I was ha ha) suddenly made my life with him MAKE TOTAL SENSE. Educating myself on the narcissist playbook now makes our life together laughable to me. He is so obviously a textbook example and I never saw it for what it was. The therapist also gave me another gem of knowledge: In any relationship the responsibility for your happjness is NEVER 50-50. it is always 100% YOUR responsibility. The other person's happiness is likewise 100% their responsibility (if they make you change to suit them, to 'make' them happier--or if you find yourself expecting them to change for you, that's a BIG RED FLAG) No one 'makes' you happy or unhappy. No one else's behaviors/demands etc. are responsible because you always have the choice to set boundaries or say no and they have a choice to respect them or take no for your answer. Each of you can choose to be no where near or a recipient of the others' behaviors, too. Like someone who goes fishing alone because spouse doesn't like to fish or go to a movie with other friends who like those moves if your spouse does not, etc. We sadly convince ourselves --through a LOT of super ego media & marketing!--that if we cut it off we are being a bad friend or bad person or we'll be alone without them. IN FACT I CAN PERSONALLY ATTEST BEING ALONE IS MARVELOUS. Companionship under duress is NOT WORTH IT! My own interests, preferences in everything, spending/earning needs, use of time are never dependent upon someone else. In my case I realized I chose to be unhappy simply by being in that toxic relationship with a man who demanded I do what he liked, wear, eat what he liked, think like him etc. For me divorce was not only my freedom but also an end to a MYRIAD TMS symptoms! Sadly I got free only when global pandemic shut down the world but now I was TMS free until a month ago. I had taken on a great paying lots of OT job to help rebuild my finances after the decades of financial abuse from my ex. The job duties themselves and the company culture sucked, though. I do heavy physical labor (and I am a 60 ish slightly built female) so at first the SCREAMING pain in my wrist the whole world naturally called 'carpal tunnel' (I knew better and ignored it as TMS, It left after only 3 days) but then shoulder pain hit me. Others in my work regularly complain of shoulder strain/pain so I just thought of that as actual physical caused by overwork. But it came and went. Then my first experience with a shooting pain radiating from a knot deep in my butt muscle shooting down to my ankle at 400 on a pain scale of 1 to 10. Never went to see a doctor (a TMS no-no not to rule out genuine physical cause but I have no time with this job and no health insurance) Sure, my brain thought DVT, bone cancer, all the fears but much Googling brought me to myofacial syndrome. That pain made it genuinely difficult to get out of bed. I could say to myself maybe it is work related strain/sprain. But being at work/physically working had my mind busy and the pain was way less. Off work, when each moment away from that job had me dreading going back had that pain screamingly FAR WORSE. The key for me was reading more about myofacial syndrome--it ticks all the TMS boxes--no known cause, no treatment known to reliably work, stress though to 'play a role,' and lots of people trying to market expensive usually on-going physical treatments. YUP! (I personally peg anything marked a 'syndrome' to be TMS.) So I took a closer look at my authentic self. I had scrimped and saved my way to financial gains by taking on all the OT and I had planned my 'out' which would leave me comfortable enough to step away and quit. I just hadn't done it yet. Some days I kept thinking the management showed hope. Then it'd just get worse and more abusive and ignorant--e.g., promised us fans when weather got hot for summer after 2 months still no fans--and I'd kick myself for 'future faking' my hopefulness when repetitive proof showed me I was being too trusting too giving again into a bottomless pit of neediness and excuses. I gave my 2 weeks notice last week and JUST LAST NIGHT sitting at home a tingling sensation (like that when your hand falls asleep because you laid on it but then the blood rushes back in and it tingles) shot down my leg and VOILA! for me another TMS bit the dust. One week to go in this job, one more kid I solely support for college and then retirement soon for me. Where my present day is a present I give myself every day with my choices.

 

100%, @Dfire! Maybe 1000%

YUP! (to quote you )

There was a thread here not too long ago where we had fun collecting examples of the so-called diagnoses that the medical community has come up with in order to put a label on mindbody symptoms. They put together a couple of words or create a phrase, sometimes from Latin words, and add the word "syndrome" to the end (or sometimes disorder"). The result sounds serious and substantial and if someone wants to be sick they can tell the world "I have THIS" but if you look closely at the diagnosis, all it does is describe the symptoms - because there is no actual physiological process that the medical community can determine or in fact diagnose.

I am wishing you all the best on your continued journey, @Dfire - you provide such a good example of someone just making a commitment and doing the work, and incorporating it into your life as new stressors come along (which they will always do). In fact, I would consider your story to be a Success Story - just in case you would like to write it up for the Success Stories subforum! Many people start their story by listing all of the issues they've had and have successfully treated as TMS - even some of them come back during times of stress, because that's life. Or, as Nicole Sachs reminds us, we can't escape pain in our lives, but we do NOT have to accept a life with chronic pain.

~Jan

 

Hey. Unfortunately, I didn't apply the treatment/medicine back then. However, I started it two weeks ago. The medicine is called "Metronidazole". It's an antibiotic in form of eye gel that is directly applied to the eye lashes. I also use "Naviblef Daily Care" to clean up my eye lashes.

Please let me know if you have any question. I would also like to know what treatment your doctor has prescribed and how you are doing generally.