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New Program Day 19: Extinction Bursts

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Alan Gordon LCSW, Aug 1, 2017.

  1. Ruth

    Ruth Newcomer

    From my meditation teacher--She experienced the deaths of her two siblings (when they were in their 40s) only 3 weeks apart and had to move her residence at the same time. Some years later she was hit by a car while crossing a street and endured severe physical injury. So as you can see, she's dealt with both physical and emotional pain, both of which were "real." As we are learning on this forum, the TMS we experience is just as real in our brains as emotional and physical pain that have a "real" cause. So I know that I can learn something from people who have experienced external trauma, of whatever nature.

    And here's what my teacher learned--
    Pain can bring you into present time, the only place we can operate from.
    We have an inner compass for what's important and we're allowed to attend to that first. We have other responsibilities, but one of them isn't endlessly trying to be perfect or to please others.
    And if we're not going to be victims, then we need to be heroes--those are the choices. So choose hero.

    Being heroic doesn't have to look "big." It can look like, "Hey, I just realized I'm in denial. Let me see what I can do about that." "Say there, I just noticed that I'm adding a whole lot of anxiety to a situation that's already troubling or even infuriating. I can do something about that."

    I see no conflict between the "emotional causes" ideas about TMS and the brain circuitry approach, because it's all routed through the brain and the autonomic nervous system anyway. I can speak to myself about my brain pathways or plasticity or I can speak to myself about repressed emotion...or both! "Thinking psychological" changes my brain circuitry.

    Look how far we've come.
    Jeather and MentorCoach like this.
  2. lisunia

    lisunia Newcomer

    I had to laugh when I read what you wrote about making tea when your pain started. It seems unbelievable to most people when I tell them that I went from nothing to extreme pain in a matter of seconds and for no reason! The other day just like you I was making my morning coffee and feeling great when suddenly I felt extreme pain in my middle back and suddenly I felt like a truck just ran over me!
  3. rbmunkin

    rbmunkin Peer Supporter

    This is Day 19. Where do I find all the other days? Thanks.
  4. shmps

    shmps Peer Supporter

  5. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Revisiting this... as I worked too hard in the garden today and my old old lower right back/hip is complaining periodically.
    I will not let it go full throttle. It’s a kid wanting candy, wanting attention, a tantrum isn’t gonna work. So, I will have a normal day tomorrow. Horses, maybe yoga, too. No babying this whiny back.
    I am not terribly afraid. Not angry. No sad. Just pulled too many big plants out of the backyard. Not used to this kind of strenuous activity, usually leave it to the gardeners.
    As I write, it complains even more loudly. I will keep a sense of humor. My gosh, what a baby. The paradoxical effect of acceptance will surely disarm this sucker.
    Even when the pain rises, it subsides a moment later. I think I will keep smiling at it and do a couple of backbends!
    Katya likes this.
  6. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Me, too!
  7. Oxalys

    Oxalys New Member

    This has helped me realise that I have experienced a few extinction bursts and each time they have been powerful enough to raise fear in me and that had I been able to resist them, maybe I'd have got through them rather than have a relapse. Knowing this gives me so much renewed enthusiasm because if I've managed to get there in the past I can do it again, but this time with knowledge so I can give resisting the extinction burst a good try - and if it doesn't work out straight away, I know I'll be able to get back there again and keep trying and keep practising. What felt impossible now feels like an opportunity and kind of exciting.

    Thank you for this course Alan. I really have appreciated it and it has helped me understand pain and neural pathways in a way that I feel will be really beneficial to me.
    suky likes this.
  8. Janisvaile

    Janisvaile New Member

    When my pain shows up, I thank it for giving me the opportunity to show that I am once again not afraid of it. You are here pain and I am going to laugh you right in the face!
    Katya, Sha and westb like this.
  9. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Pain today? Twinges...like water lapping at the edges of a river. I’ve been riding more the past couples of weeks, walking more, lots of physical stuff. Of course I’m sore!
    I am so happy to revisit this.
    I’m angry at the news. I have on a white noise machine to block the evening news. I want to hide from the ugliness and adrenaline that is recycling itself as we lurch toward the midterms.
    Prayers for everyone having stress right now.
    You’re not alone.
    And we don’t need pain to avoid feelings. Just feel them. They pass. Never had a permanent one yet.
    Katya and MWsunin12 like this.
  10. Janisvaile

    Janisvaile New Member

    Hey Bodhigirl, thanks for your post. It seemed to help some. Been terribly depressed and hurting more the last few days.
  11. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Glad it helped. Tell the depression that you don’t need it any more. Tell the pain that there is no rabbit in the hat, the magic trick doesn’t work. There is freedom here. We have to remind each other regularly! All best wishes!!
    MWsunin12 likes this.
  12. Titus Groan

    Titus Groan Peer Supporter

    Had a pretty good couple of weeks with most of my symptoms being absent - but last couple of days have been getting tightness/strain in my forearm from using the mouse and keyboard. I haven't stopped doing these activities and I'm pretty sure it's TMS/extinction burst, but I can't shake the niggling question "What if it isn't? What if using the mouse all day really has hurt my forearm?"

    Evidence for actual injury: it's there pretty consistently, and doesn't seem to be getting better. This is the first time in a while that I've used my arms this much.

    Evidence it being TMS: Other pains move about (but don't replace it), such as the wrist and thumb. It doesn't seem to be getting much worse. I was only using a keyboard and mouse (albeit, one that's a little tough to click). It feels similar to when I had tendinitis in the same place a few years ago.

    Can anyone help me with this? Will a mouse and keyboard ever be responsible for pain?
  13. Smb081818

    Smb081818 New Member

    I relate so much with your post today, have you had success??
  14. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    I got an email that this thread was active and it’s so nice to visit without pain!! I actually heard a POP while doing an 18 pound kettlebell workout this morning and I smiled at the sound... a sound that used to lead to doctors and physical therapy and even a few urgent care visits due to stories I would tell myself. The pain always arrived after the POP. I learned that in my 20’s from a boss who was a partner at a law firm. He leaned down to get the newspaper and boom. Yeah, my ego was taking notes! Not today!!!
    I am humbled by my health and I owe so much of it to TMS wiki!
    When the bursts arrive, usually as IC/ bladder symptoms I cover my eyes and repeat “I am safe” over and over. And over and over and quickly the symptoms vanish.
    I learned that here! And I have taught it to so many people..
    Me? So grateful!!
    Katya, momx2 and Hayley like this.
  15. Janey

    Janey New Member

    Thank you so much for this course, Alan. I am finding it so helpful and encouraging.
  16. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    I’m having another extinction burst. Or a symptom imperative?
    Someone else got tossed off my horse and hurt back, for real, and now my back has been hurting since yesterday afternoon. There is NO reason for this.
    My shoulder is better.
    So my fear needs expression. I am afraid. Not of back pain but for the rider who assures me she is fine. It’s as if I took the fall. Like I carry trauma that’s not mine.
    This is entirely new.
    Quite amazing.
  17. kim marie

    kim marie Peer Supporter

    I was doing the tapping too I found some on YouTube. That was 6yrs ago when I read about TMS and got out of pain foral a year .then fell hard bad into UNBEARABLE PAIN. I'm doing Allen program on number 18 its been up and down. Its hit me really hard so hopefully I can pull out of this pain .is there another program after this one
    Balsa11 likes this.
  18. lindyr

    lindyr New Member

  19. lindyr

    lindyr New Member

    So as soon as I read this section, I am having an extinction burst! I starting this program in the spring and had been doing relatively well; still have the pain, but not as bad. Last night the pain ramped up in my shoulder and neck and today I have pain in my right hip (this doesn't happen very often). Power of suggestion!!!

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