Day 1. My story. I've been experiencing increasing back pain for the past 4 years. What started as a little tightness has become a constant companion. The worse it gets, the more I think and worry about it. I read Dr. Sarno's book in May and cried before I'd finished the introduction. I read myself on every page. I then read The Great Pain Deception. Again, the book described me to a T. Since reading the books, my pain has actually intensified and spread to different areas. Just knowing about TMS isn't enough for me. I've got to take action than I have and commit to my recovery. I'm still ensnared in the pain strategy employed by my subconscious. It's totally working. Looking back, I see that I've had TMS symptoms my whole life - ibs, vertigo, headaches, shoulder aches, tingling - and didn't know it. The symptoms have come and gone. The onset of the back pain coincides with me deciding to leave my teaching job. Since then, a great struggle has been going on inside. Instead of enjoying my time, I feel guilty about not "working" and have been disappearing myself, questioning my value and worth and who I am if I am not a teacher or mother. At the same time, I resist taking action on what to do next. Of course, I've been keeping this all inside, not sharing it with family or friends, as I feel ashamed and scared to talk about it. I feel stuck.