At the end of my rope with sciatica / piriformis syndrome

Your job sounds super stressful. Maybe your body wants you to change jobs and rethink your life?

 

From my experience, finding ZERO other alternatives is usually when TMS healing begins. My thought when I see posts of people considering alternatives or not considering the ultimate solution: this person has not hit the bottom yet.
I personally was lucky with my non-TMS doctors because they were not creative enough with long, multi-part names for my symptoms to distract me with alternatives. They simply had nothing that looked remotely reasonable. Dr. Sarno was the only one who offered me something worthy of consideration. Seven years after my recovery, I still tear up at the thought that I never had a chance to thank him in person. But I still can thank my TMS doctor, Dr. Gietzen, and all others: Dr. Schubiner, Alan Gordon, Dr. Hanscom, and many more. And so I do!

 

Thanks so much to all responders! I really appreciate your wisdom and time. I will definitely be trying your suggestions.

A few follow-up comments and clarifications:

@Cactusflower, thanks for the thoughts on sleep.

That is a misquote, as I didn't write that or mean to imply it. I am continuing with Sarno and Weekes methods as the foundation of my approach.

The only fix I chased was pain meds so I could get some sleep and antibiotics for a serious infection. I did the PT evaluation to get my doctor off my back, but I am not doing the exercises and am cancelling the upcoming appointments.

Yes, I should do that. However, I did find it therapeutic to write the recent long post, sort of like journaling. It got the toxins from the past week out of my system.

Thank you @JanAtheCPA, I do.

I'm going to read this tonight.

I'm considering it. I've done it in the past for severe OCD and depression, and while it helped, it is such a time commitment and so slow.

@Diana-M, it can be at times, like this past week. It is also very rewarding to feel part of something important and bigger than myself, and something that I'm good at. I am paid well, and I leave well below my means, so I am close to being able to retire early if I want. It would be more stressful to change jobs at this time.

I wouldn't say I'm considering alternatives. I'm 97% confident that there isn't a physical issue at play. As a scientist and perfectionist, it is hard for me to be 100% confident in anything. I went to a TMS doctor from December to February, but he didn't engender full confidence. Maybe I should go to another, but there aren't any nearby.

 

Good for you! Sounds like it’s a good job for you and you’re happy —so that’s great! Something is definitely making you mad though, for your body to be so filled with TMS. I you can figure it out and I hope you feel better soon!

Here’s a good insomnia success story by @Ellen — She’s still frequently on the forum so maybe she could give you some advice. https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-chronic-insomnia.16653/ (Recovery from Chronic Insomnia)

 

@Diana-M, thanks, I'll check out @Ellen's post!

 

Please make the physical symptoms and work projects just a passing reference. We cannot help you there. Instead tell us about how it's going with the Sarno / Weekes approach you briefly mentioned. And, tell us about the Kevin Martillo Viner book/program.

With all due respect, you're making it hard for many of us to give suggestions here.
Your Exec. Summary and the details provided for each day do not include anything related to TMS / mindbody.

Please take another look at everything you wrote. You shared lots of surface-level detail about work stresses, but nothing deeper about the inner conflicts and turmoils--the deeper stuff that causes your brain to need to present pain symptoms as a distraction to prevent you from feeling undesirable feelings or rage or repressed trauma, etc.
You may want to just write that for yourself, and that's fine.
Just know that what you wrote could be posted on a work-stress related forum. There's some follow-up with doctors in there, but Nobody would have any idea you are struggling with TMS.

This is not the type of journaling that works for TMS-related symptoms.
Check out these excellent suggestions from Nicole Sachs on journaling:
https://www.yourbreakawake.com/journalspeak (JournalSpeak | BreakAwake by Nicole Sachs)
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I can relate to where you're at. When I was at a similar point, it was before I realized what I was dealing with in those circumstances was TMS. I was completely focused on the external stuff. (Not saying that's where you are at--but that's what this post is reminding me about.)
I wish you well. And, in a sense, am repeating back some of the good advice others gave me, advice that helped me make progress on letting my symptoms drop away completely.

 

Your confidence cannot come from outside. It is very contrary to what people with a scientific or engineering background (me included) are used to. You need to believe that it is TMS. Took me a year to arrive to that point.

 

Don't shoot the messenger, but if I were a betting woman, I'd place my money on there being at least something about your job that is making you very angry, and the "it's very rewarding" etc 'slogan' is the 'wallpaper' that you use to paper over the angry crack(s) and push down your emotions so that you don't process and physically feel them (because your TMSing brain sees them as being dangerous). What you are angry about may be something that you think that you 'shouldn't' be angry about, something possibly appearing to be quite minor in the great scheme of things, but is actually not at all minor to you.

 

@BloodMoon, I think you are right. I know that I am angry that I was forced to take on a bunch of additional responsibility this past Fall, and when the effects started to impact me at work is right when I "strained my back" while lifting weights. I am also angry that I don't feel like I'm being utilized properly or fully. I may have other less conscious anger.

 

and when you are certain about this? The Pain will go away.

I didn't come even close to 'figuring myself out' to get better...but as I got a little better by just seeing a few obvious things, my faith in the diagnosis grew, and then I looked for more things and more pain left,etc,etc.

This is a transformational program. A Battle for ground...each little piece is a part of winning the war.

 

Thank you @Baseball65.