Years of myriad of symptoms. Just started working on TMS. Asking for tips.

Hello.

32 year old male with chronic back issues for years. Heavy lifting was always the culprit and three years ago, after two years of personal turmoil, suddenly I became much worse after some stretches. Thought that was it. MRIs and what not. I was not able to pass urine. Loss all sensation, terrible back pain, terrified of Cauda Equina Syndrome. Finally had an operation on two discs.

But..

It disn’t get better. Sure it was “better” but I healed to a certain point. And a year after my neck started. Tingling hands, arms, terrible pain on the left arm, pectorals, delts. Another round of doctor visits. Neck was fine but could it be thıracic outlet? I can see my arm is atropfiying. Fear was a constant, battling for the first place with pain.

Vertigos, stomach problems, abdominal pain, constiption, erectile problems.

After a year of unsuccessful doctor visits one say I came to understand that it was all psychological. Terrible anxiety and feeling of doom. I started antidepressants and xanax. Theraphy which concluded that I have a mild manic depression. But i didn’t seem to make that breakthrough. I was sure that I made some nerves die off due to my stressed muscles. Everyday the reversal seemed further away.

Until two weeks ago where I learned about TMS and read Dr.Sarno’s book. You’ve been all there, that incredible feeling. Feeling the weight off your shoulders. Two days after I was completely better. No symptoms. Feelings came back since it was inplausible, to have a body which kills off it’s own nerves through stressed muscles. It just did not make any sense.

I started keeping journals, ignoring my body’s reactions an focusing on emotions. My dreams started to become carhartic, replays of oast traumas. In the morning I addressed them, wrote about them and felt better. But honestly it’s been a up and down process, like the healing should be.

Now the question: I’m pretty much dealt with constant tensions. Now those episodes are far in between. I can evakuate or try to feel my emotions. But for last days I developed something else. Now when i’m thinking of ky emotions or try to connect with them I get tremors. Constant shakes like in a seizure. They don’t feel particulary uncorfortable, just weird when in company. Last night I slept on the couch in order to not to disturb my girlfriend and the episode was severe. I know it’s a step forward but I don’t know where to go from here. Still my body resists to these emotions. I know I when I focus on them my brain fog dissipates and my body unwinds through these tremors.

Am I overthinking? Did I made healing my obsession? How can I practice these “tenets” without falling into the pitfalls. I know it’s process but why does it feel like trying to find a new path after each flare-up?

Thanks a lot in advance, wishing you all the best.

 

Hi oyolcinar,

Welcome to the Wiki and Forum. First, you've done incredible work to arrive here, understand what you do, practice TMS work, have results, then ask for support in your reaction to more symptoms. In a real way, I cannot offer you more than encouragement to stay the course, and learn to observe symptoms and not worry about them.

Specifics:
--Work on mindfulness practices, daily for 10 to 20 minutes.
--Look into Claire Weekes work, which supports not being worried about strange symptoms, anxiety about symptoms.
--Do Alan Gordon's program linked at top of this page. Great guidance on our propensities to perpetuate symptoms as a way of "staying safe."
--Work through the Structured Education Program, free on the Wiki.
--Check out Dr. Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain workbook, with good meditations.
--Check out Curable ap, and listen to all manor of their and other podcasts.

You can't do all of this at once, and your observation:

is brilliant.

This is where mindfulness, observing, allowing really come into play. This process is more about 'unlearning' than "fixing." So, really, your statement shows that you get the bind inherent in this TMS approach. Or rather it is a bind of the mind, trying to work its way out of distress. There isn't much to do about this than reassure yourself and know that an hour a day of this work is plenty, and that the answers will come in time.

You need to know again and again that you're in the right place and on the right track. You're new to this, so be patient, strong, ask questions.

Andy

 

Hi Andy, thank you for your guidance and encouraging words.

Will work on and ask when in need.

 

One of the thing that made Sarno's Theory so plausible when I first read it was it's agreement with the past biological studies I had dabbled in when I was in college. Ischemia is a very real biological process. Ischemia brought on by tension made perfect sense on the very first read. I knew about the lack of oxygen, build up of lactic acid and cramping and spasms brought on by it. I believe I had once asked someone "If I can lift 100 pounds ONCE why can't I do it a thousand times?"

Sarno's mention of Marathoner's at the end of a race was really helpful.

So, your body developed this strategy to distract you and it has worked for a long time, agreed? It is only natural that as you defuse the cause (unconscious anger by being made aware of the process) that your body go through some discernible changes when the system stops working? I have heard of people having all sorts of peculiar 'detox' symptoms.... switching locations, change in sensation or duration, etc.

Ignore it as best you can. It seems like your already dealing with it. Do not allow your mind to latch on to the detox symptoms as a new distraction. When my backpain left, my knee went 'out'. I just laughed and kept going and that went away too.

The same techniques that walked you IN here will walk you all the way out. Have faith. Keep going. Don't worry.

peace