I recently had the opportunity to talk with the head of anesthesiology at he biggest hospital in town. For over an hour he shot down every idea I had about treating my worsening pains. He obviously didn't believe in treating chronic pain on any level except to say I should try to meditate, something I've already been doing for over 40 years. At the end of our interview I said 'you should never take away a patient's hope because that's all they have left sometimes'. He responded saying 'actually sometimes there is no hope and you might be better of accepting that rather than always trying to get help'. I was both crushed and furious. He basically told me to f-off and quit bothering doctors. I am already predisposed to feelings of gloom and despair and this interview helped cement my worst suicidal tendencies.