steveomal
Newcomer
This is my first time posting to this community. I have had episodes of TMS in the past where I had back pain and sciatic burning pain in my left leg. The recovery the last time took months. I was healed from this after carefully applying Dr. Sarno's principles of repudiating the physical, acknowledging and accepting the psychological reasons for the TMS manifestation. My personality is described in Dr Sarno's books (wanting to always help out, easily irritable, always have a picture in my head how I want situations to go, particular about some things, ...)
Three weeks ago while trying to prepare physically for an upcoming race I experienced a jolt in my right lower lumbar muscles performing the last repetition of the final set of an exercise. Earlier in the day someone was talking about their misaligned disks. I believe this the unconscious thought that allowed the trigger later that day. I was able to get through the rest of the exercise and the area was "warm" but not hurt. The next day was sore, but manageable. I kept telling myself this was the result of stress (going through anytime I have had any inklings of tms tension since the last episode). I continued to do workout following my schedule until the pain moved to the other side about a week later and eventually into my left hamstring (sciatic pain). Since then I have gone easier with the workouts and had to stop running because running has been excruciating.
I continue the TMS treatment plan including not taking Motrin (but I have carried it just incase) and following Dr Sarno's treatment plan. I spend 15 minutes in the morning meditating and journal (paying attention to my dreams for any ideas on what may be causing my unconscious rage). I listen to Healing Back Pain and The Divided Mind on Audio. I keep rereading the Treatment section of The Mindbody Disorder. I have introspected and listed out my current sources of stress. I have thought about painful memories from my childhood. I keep peeling back the onion to find the source of the rage that my brain is latching on to.
Going through this time, I have had many moments of success. I am able to temporarily relieve the tension by telling myself I have a normal back and legs, the pain is being caused by my brain to distract from powerful emotions, and that the pain couldn't further injure me because there is nothing physically wrong. I have been able to workout with only mild tension and I have gone on pain free walks. I can have tension free hours at work and drive to and from work tension free. I can also identify situations at work and home when the tension flares up when something stressful happens.
The last two days though I have woken with lots of tension in my now right buttock and hamstring. Today it was excruciating. I have gone through my normal daily routine of mediating and there has been some relief, but can't stop thinking this could go on for awhile (weeks/months). I have repudiated a physical reason for the pain and acknowledge this is psychological (even able to laugh at the this is only tension). I know when the pain moves it is supposed to be a good thing, but some days it really feels like defeat. My mind is highly analytical and is always looking for answers to everything. How can I get through the last step of fully accepting the psychological? What can I do to release the unconscious rage or just make it not have to cause tension?
Three weeks ago while trying to prepare physically for an upcoming race I experienced a jolt in my right lower lumbar muscles performing the last repetition of the final set of an exercise. Earlier in the day someone was talking about their misaligned disks. I believe this the unconscious thought that allowed the trigger later that day. I was able to get through the rest of the exercise and the area was "warm" but not hurt. The next day was sore, but manageable. I kept telling myself this was the result of stress (going through anytime I have had any inklings of tms tension since the last episode). I continued to do workout following my schedule until the pain moved to the other side about a week later and eventually into my left hamstring (sciatic pain). Since then I have gone easier with the workouts and had to stop running because running has been excruciating.
I continue the TMS treatment plan including not taking Motrin (but I have carried it just incase) and following Dr Sarno's treatment plan. I spend 15 minutes in the morning meditating and journal (paying attention to my dreams for any ideas on what may be causing my unconscious rage). I listen to Healing Back Pain and The Divided Mind on Audio. I keep rereading the Treatment section of The Mindbody Disorder. I have introspected and listed out my current sources of stress. I have thought about painful memories from my childhood. I keep peeling back the onion to find the source of the rage that my brain is latching on to.
Going through this time, I have had many moments of success. I am able to temporarily relieve the tension by telling myself I have a normal back and legs, the pain is being caused by my brain to distract from powerful emotions, and that the pain couldn't further injure me because there is nothing physically wrong. I have been able to workout with only mild tension and I have gone on pain free walks. I can have tension free hours at work and drive to and from work tension free. I can also identify situations at work and home when the tension flares up when something stressful happens.
The last two days though I have woken with lots of tension in my now right buttock and hamstring. Today it was excruciating. I have gone through my normal daily routine of mediating and there has been some relief, but can't stop thinking this could go on for awhile (weeks/months). I have repudiated a physical reason for the pain and acknowledge this is psychological (even able to laugh at the this is only tension). I know when the pain moves it is supposed to be a good thing, but some days it really feels like defeat. My mind is highly analytical and is always looking for answers to everything. How can I get through the last step of fully accepting the psychological? What can I do to release the unconscious rage or just make it not have to cause tension?
