Working again

I AM working again since 24 february. Its a great company and job. I sit 7-8 hours a day behind a pc. And i have bad RSI symptoms in arms, and right trapezius and neck. I went in it with confidence it is tms but its so bad now.. my stomach cramps and heart palps.

It gradually got worse since im working on pc again. Im getting scared again and am in horrible pain 24/7. Especially when on pc. I just cant keep believing.. my body wears down and i feel it having a tol on my heart.

What to do... I still believe but starting to really doubt. Since its starting to feel life threatening.

Ive been here for 2 years now on the forum also sen a TMS therapist here. And it only got worse.

 

Maybe reading someone else's similar story would help you, Mark. Check out this new thread, and the response from @HattieNC. Then check out her story as she suggests.
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/people-with-tms-do-you-work-a-job.22578/ (People with TMS, do you work a job?)

 

Mark, having a job was my lifeline. It helped me to have a purpose and not feel isolated, one-on-one with my pain. But you have to support yourself, because a job takes a lot of energy. I meditated, every day.

 

I got fired due to corona. But i felt relieved because i was in horrible pain and mood. I couldnt take it anymore.

On the other side i feel sad because i loved the job. Im jobless a week now and the pain didnt get that much better. My ex boss regrets firing me already and wants me back. But i am too scared to go back, while i loved the job...

Im meditating for 8 days now. But its hard. I feel so much adrenaline when i do it. Maybe thats a good thing? It shows me how tensed i am all the time?

I also got an emg 2 weeks ago in my right arm, ulnar nerve. They found nothing. But most of the pain is in my right trapezius and upper back.

I even tried mousing with left hand but left also hurts and got worse and worse. I dont mind the pain. But i get so tired, exhausted by it. And my heart cramps and skips the more pain i get.

I am currently back in the fear mindset that maybe i got structural damage in the back trapezius which causes also arm pain and hand pain. Maybe a hernia idk. I got pain in upper back, trapezius, Both arms, heart palpilations and severe fatigue.

Sad to say im in fear mode again. I tried 1 month i really did on the new job, but IT got absolutely unbearable. Im devastated. 1 good point is that the first 3 weeks heart palpilations were less than before, and when i stopped working this week it it worse.