HealingMe
Beloved Grand Eagle
I’ve been feeling pretty rough the past few weeks. My TMS tends to show up mainly as anxiety-driven thoughts, and lately it’s been especially intense.
In the last month, a few things came up at once. I casually got bloodwork done (I have a history of fear around tests and doctors), and interestingly I didn’t feel much fear in the moment -- but afterward I wondered if my subconscious still registered it as stressful.
My dog also strained his neck/shoulder. He’s completely fine now and recovering well, but I noticed I became very emotionally impacted by it, even experiencing physical chest tightness, like my heart was breaking.
At the same time, my mind has been very sticky with intrusive thoughts and constant self-doubt, like:
“Did I think that right?”
“Did I do that correctly?”
“Did I type that right?”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Do you still enjoy things like music or coffee?”
"Am I doing healing correctly?"
It becomes easy to get pulled into checking and analyzing everything mentally until I realize I’m stuck in the loop again.
I also notice how much hormonal shifts throughout the month can amplify all of this, and this past month has felt particularly intense. The joys of being a woman.
It’s been a reminder of how obsessive and consuming anxiety can be. And I also want to emphasize that TMS isn’t only about physical symptoms -- it can show up very strongly in the mind itself, especially as looping thoughts, doubt, and mental checking.
In the last month, a few things came up at once. I casually got bloodwork done (I have a history of fear around tests and doctors), and interestingly I didn’t feel much fear in the moment -- but afterward I wondered if my subconscious still registered it as stressful.
My dog also strained his neck/shoulder. He’s completely fine now and recovering well, but I noticed I became very emotionally impacted by it, even experiencing physical chest tightness, like my heart was breaking.
At the same time, my mind has been very sticky with intrusive thoughts and constant self-doubt, like:
“Did I think that right?”
“Did I do that correctly?”
“Did I type that right?”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Do you still enjoy things like music or coffee?”
"Am I doing healing correctly?"
It becomes easy to get pulled into checking and analyzing everything mentally until I realize I’m stuck in the loop again.
I also notice how much hormonal shifts throughout the month can amplify all of this, and this past month has felt particularly intense. The joys of being a woman.
It’s been a reminder of how obsessive and consuming anxiety can be. And I also want to emphasize that TMS isn’t only about physical symptoms -- it can show up very strongly in the mind itself, especially as looping thoughts, doubt, and mental checking.