When can I stop "getting checked out"?

[Mardi327]

I feel like everything I read about TMS always has a caveat - "by all means, get checked out first!" I think that's great and yes, you should. But I'm struggling with the question of, "When can I stop?"

I had hip, low abdominal pain. Got an ultrasound. All clear. It felt better.

I had right breast pain. Got a mammogram. All clear. It felt better.

I had upper right abdominal pain. Got an ultrasound. All clear. Still struggle with that one off and on.

I had numbness and tingling on the left side of my face. Thought it could be trigeminal neuralgia. Got it checked out (sort of - he didn't think it was anything but didn't really run any tests.) It mostly got better.

I had terrible left ear/jaw pain and TMJ symptoms. Got a scary TMJ diagnosis and offered a $20,000 solution. After some at home online therapy (try Kieferfreund for TMJ issues!), TMS work, and chiropractic care, it got better.

Now my heart has been having palpitations and of course I am again instructed to get it checked out.

How do I stop the cycle? I feel like I have to check every new symptom and that costs a LOT! But each time it's a new symptom I think, well, maybe this is something else, better make sure. When is enough enough?

Any advice is welcome. Thanks for your time and for this forum! It's been very helpful.

 

[miffybunny]

It's easy to go down endless rabbit holes in the medical mill, especially if there's tendency to body scan and monitor and hyper focus. Usually people with obsessive tendencies are in the midst of a massive mental over processing of the body. Given the pattern and history, the time to stop is now. You can keep going forever with testing and practitioners but at a certain point you have to just decide you're fine and commit. Otherwise it just becomes another distractions, a colossal waste of time and resources and more messages of danger to the brain. It's all reassurance seeking and a profound intolerance to uncertainty. You have to decide to reclaim your life and longer be controlled by fear and false beliefs. You have tms. It means there's nothing wrong with you. Lose the fear, do the emotional work you've been avoiding, and decide you're going to get better. If you do that, reversing this habit is guaranteed.

 

[EmilyE]

Wow...I really needed to read this today. I posted yesterday for the first time. I have actually been following this site though for years. I have a long history of TMS. My fear of my body is so high. I have recently entered Menopause and just knowing I am menopausal (I am - due to surgery I had in June) has sent me in to a frenzy. I have always been scared of going in to the menopause. I figure this is because of all the body symptoms. Anyway, my main symptoms are vagina dryness, particularly on the outside, and sensitive bladder. I have visions of losing control of my bladder and never being able to be intimate again because of the vagina symptoms. I have had bladder symptoms on and off for years. These symptoms were the ones I feared the most about menopause and now they are happening. I am on HRT but haven't seen any real improvements. I haven't got any other symptoms at the moment or at least none that cause fear anyway. I am finding it hard to move beyond this because there is a 'medical' reason?? I am chasing every treatment, wanting to see the doctor repeatedly for different medications and all of this behaviour makes me feel ashamed. The menopause arena is so big and it's great that it is being taken seriously etc... however for someone with TMS it is overwhelming and I don't know when to stop. @miffybunny I really like your response above and I know all of that but I find it so hard implementing it when I could have something that may be helped if I find the right type of HRT etc... it's like I can't give up searching.

 

[Mardi327]

It's easy to go down endless rabbit holes in the medical mill, especially if there's tendency to body scan and monitor and hyper focus. Usually people with obsessive tendencies are in the midst of a massive mental over processing of the body. Given the pattern and history, the time to stop is now. You can keep going forever with testing and practitioners but at a certain point you have to just decide you're fine and commit. Otherwise it just becomes another distractions, a colossal waste of time and resources and more messages of danger to the brain. It's all reassurance seeking and a profound intolerance to uncertainty. You have to decide to reclaim your life and longer be controlled by fear and false beliefs. You have tms. It means there's nothing wrong with you. Lose the fear, do the emotional work you've been avoiding, and decide you're going to get better. If you do that, reversing this habit is guaranteed.

Thank you @miffybunny ! Your candor is much appreciated. I definitely obsess over each and every symptom (and conveniently forget all the previous ones in the meantime.) It is hard to change and to let go of the "possibility" that it is something else when it feels SO real and scary. My brain knew exactly what symptom to try next to get my attention. We are currently moving out of state so I know there is an emotional/stress connection. Thank you for the encouragement!

 

[TG957]

I 100% agree with everything that @miffybunny said, so you now have 2 people saying the same thing :=).

As for menopause, it can be difficult and cause many symptoms, but your heart palpitations very well could be a result of anxiety, which you very obviously have, judging by your writing. Of all the emotional work you need to do, I would give highest priority to anxiety. Claire Weekes books and especially audios are the best cure for anxiety.

 

[Mardi327]

I am chasing every treatment, wanting to see the doctor repeatedly for different medications and all of this behaviour makes me feel ashamed. The menopause arena is so big and it's great that it is being taken seriously etc... however for someone with TMS it is overwhelming and I don't know when to stop. @miffybunny I really like your response above and I know all of that but I find it so hard implementing it when I could have something that may be helped if I find the right type of HRT etc... it's like I can't give up searching.

Me too, @EmilyE. Right there with you. I just "want to be sure." My therapist often talks about accepting the discomfort of possibility and not knowing. That's very hard for me to do! But remember that feelings of shame only fuel TMS - I'm learning so much about being kind and gentle with my inner self. If we shame ourselves over these behaviors they're going to stick around. I guess there is some mysterious happy medium that we're all seeking where we can be firm with ourselves and say "No, we don't need to pursue this any further. We're fine." But we can also gently and lovingly say, "But you're okay and your fear is normal and I see you! We can get through this."

 

[Mardi327]

I 100% agree with everything that @miffybunny said, so you now have 2 people saying the same thing :=).

As for menopause, it can be difficult and cause many symptoms, but your heart palpitations very well could be a result of anxiety, which you very obviously have, judging by your writing. Of all the emotional work you need to do, I would give highest priority to anxiety. Claire Weekes books and especially audios are the best cure for anxiety.

Thank you! I've not dealt with menopause yet, but all of the other things have run me ragged. I'm reading Claire Weeke's Hope and Help for Your Nerves right now and it has described me to a T. Thanks for your advice @TG957.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

100% everything that @miffybunny and @TG957 have said. In addition, I have a pragmatic recommendation, which is for you both to find a way to incorporate physical body awareness into your lives.

I spent decades, from a very young age, taking care of my body and eventually taking an interest in all kinds of mindbody awareness practices. I think this is why I didn't go to a traditional medical practitioner even in the middle of my worst TMS crisis in 2010/2011, because I sensed that the answer was not going to be revealed in an MRI or fixed by a drug. Heart palpitations, or extra beats, were just one of my many symptoms, which I'd stopped worrying about a couple of decades prior. But I couldn't put it all together until I accidentally discovered Dr Sarno - suddenly it came together in a way that made sense - and the result was my significant recovery. I still think that my body awareness skills were essential - and still are.

Doing this involves finding a hands-on professional who can teach you how to feel what's going on in your body and learn to connect your physical sensations to your brain. This person could be in any number of fields. The key is finding something that fits your personal goals for physical health, with someone who has the emotional strength and communication skills to help you make progress. Obviously they must practice with a focus on the mindbody connection, and be willing and able to teach you how to really be aware of and learn to control your muscles. Therapeutic breathing is part of this.

Examples of what I'm talking about would be individual sessions with a certified yoga instructor (gentle or restorative), Pilates instructor, personal trainer, licensed therapeutic massage practitioner, or a physical therapist with a focus on one of the mindbody specialties, like Hellerwork (connecting deep tissue release to emotions) or cranio-sacral therapy (learning to talk to your body to create change).

Massage is a nice safe way to start, but it must be someone who is certified and licensed to do therapeutic work, and who can make a commitment to undertake a relationship of education and growth with you.

 

[anacoluthon33]

It's easy to go down endless rabbit holes in the medical mill, especially if there's tendency to body scan and monitor and hyper focus. Usually people with obsessive tendencies are in the midst of a massive mental over processing of the body. Given the pattern and history, the time to stop is now. You can keep going forever with testing and practitioners but at a certain point you have to just decide you're fine and commit. Otherwise it just becomes another distractions, a colossal waste of time and resources and more messages of danger to the brain. It's all reassurance seeking and a profound intolerance to uncertainty. You have to decide to reclaim your life and longer be controlled by fear and false beliefs. You have tms. It means there's nothing wrong with you. Lose the fear, do the emotional work you've been avoiding, and decide you're going to get better. If you do that, reversing this habit is guaranteed.

Super powerful.

 

[EmilyE]

Thank you very much everyone for your wisdom and contributions. It had really helped.