"Whatever you choose to believe becomes true for you"

[cafe_bustelo]

Taking some recommendations from a few different success stories on the forum, I have been reading Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman, The Power of Neuroplasticity by Shad Helmstetter, and You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and all three seem to be saying more or less the same thing around your thoughts being both a) what create your experience of reality and even your future and b) not actually true, or at least possible to separate from what you believe.

I find this outlook really helpful even if it seems on its face to be a bit woo, and I'm slowly coming around to the idea that the negative patterns of anxiety and doubt I've been living with are just learned patterns and possible to change. I didn't realize until recently that I had been going through life with an impossibly pessimistic outlook at all times, even when I was doing things that were ostensibly for enjoyment or that had no real consequence. So it's no wonder that I had the obsessive anxiety thoughts that got me into TMS in the first place when I freaked out about a minor injury.

I am taking heart in the idea that it is possible to change all of this simply by changing my thoughts, even if that may take time. And also: I'm pursuing all of this more out of a desire to figure out who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life more than resolving my symptoms—I truly believe it was the confusion and tension around that and its various manifestations in my life (work, relationship, friends, music career) that set me up for TMS to become The Big Distraction that it became.

To the longer term forum regulars I can't imagine I'm saying anything new here but I feel maybe this is still worth sharing to anyone who's just arriving, or just for myself—what the heck am I doing trying to justify this post anyway?

 

[BloodMoon]

I am taking heart in the idea that it is possible to change all of this simply by changing my thoughts, even if that may take time.

What I’ve found is that it’s about changing my thoughts about the thoughts that pop up. We can’t always control the first thought, but we can control how we respond to it — and over time that can help reduce how many pessimistic thoughts keep showing up. Meditation has helped me with this because it makes you realise you’re actually the watcher, or observer, of the thoughts that come into your head. You can then let them pass by like clouds in the sky or leaves on a flowing river, without getting caught up or entangled in them.

 

[BloodMoon]

@cafe_bustelo Something I meant to include in my earlier posting is that you might also like Rick Hanson's work. He describes the brain's natural bias for negativity as being "like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones" and how we can overcome it. He's written some books but here's an article by him about it on his website https://rickhanson.com/take-in-the-good/

And something else I’ve found helpful—you could call it a bit of a mental hack—is this: when you’re feeling pessimistic about, or not looking forward to, doing something, try saying to yourself, “I get to…”

For example: “I get to do the dishes.” “I get to fill out my tax return.” “I get to see this show” (even if you’re not sure you’ll like it).

You might not actually enjoy doing these things—especially something like a tax return—but I find it helps you get over the initial resistance and start. It can also make you more open to the experience, and you may find it’s not as bad as you expected.

 

[cafe_bustelo]

@cafe_bustelo Something I meant to include in my earlier posting is that you might also like Rick Hansom's work. He describes the brain's natural bias for negativity as being "like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones" and how we can overcome it. He's written some books but here's an article by him about it on his website https://rickhanson.com/take-in-the-good/

And something else I’ve found helpful—you could call it a bit of a mental hack—is this: when you’re feeling pessimistic about, or not looking forward to, doing something, try saying to yourself, “I get to…”

For example: “I get to do the dishes.” “I get to fill out my tax return.” “I get to see this show” (even if you’re not sure you’ll like it).

You might not actually enjoy doing these things—especially something like a tax return—but I find it helps you get over the initial resistance and start. It can also make you more open to the experience, and you may find it’s not as bad as you expected.

Thanks, great suggestions. I'm checking out the article and that makes a lot of sense that negativity is our natural tendency. Maybe that alone could help me let go of constantly being hard on myself for being so negative! It really can be such a vicious cycle.

 

[BloodMoon]

Maybe that alone could help me let go of constantly being hard on myself for being so negative!

Yes, it’s great that you’ve come to recognise how the “negativity bias” has been affecting you, as it gives you the chance to gently guide your brain in a different direction. At the same time, it can be a relief to realise that there isn’t anything drastically “abnormal” going on.

As Rick describes in his article, gradually taking in and appreciating the good moments in our lives can help tip the balance towards feeling more positive overall. One thing I’ve found helpful is writing down two or three things I’m grateful for at the end of each day, whether they’re things that happened or simply aspects of my life. Once a week, I look back on what I’ve written, which gives me a nice boost.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

you might also like Rick Hanson's work.

One of the early resources that was hugely influential for me right after Sarno was an audio program Rick did with neurologist Richard Mendius MD. It's called "Meditations to Change Your Brain" although it's really mostly lecture with a few meditations. It's on my profile page list of resources. I purchased it as a download from Sounds True but found later it was available from my library. They also co-wrote a book called Buddha's Brain.

 

[Dorado]

What I’ve found is that it’s about changing my thoughts about the thoughts that pop up. We can’t always control the first thought, but we can control how we respond to it — and over time that can help reduce how many pessimistic thoughts keep showing up. Meditation has helped me with this because it makes you realise you’re actually the watcher, or observer, of the thoughts that come into your head. You can then let them pass by like clouds in the sky or leaves on a flowing river, without getting caught up or entangled in them.

It took me so many years to understand this. You’ve captured it beautifully.