What to do when you don't have a problem with fully feeling your emotions...

Hi,

I'm new to the forum. My pain is general wide-spread chronic muscle pain ('fibromyalgia') and pelvic pain (pudendal neuralgia-like pain).

I have been doing mind/body work for a while now - thinking psychological, journaling etc., and I've become perplexed as to what to do next because it seems to me that I don't actually have a problem in feeling my emotions and don't particularly bury stuff. When I bring up and remember unpleasant/difficult things from my past, I very much experience them viscerally. However, what I do have a problem with is is that my 'monkey mind' keeps plaguing me with reminders of unpleasant experiences from the past, despite my having felt the rush of associated emotion fully in my body every time they bubble up. Although I meditate, practise qigong and use visualization techniques there's been no change to my situation or my pain levels. Has anyone else experienced this problem? Any suggestions as to what I can do that might help will be gratefully received.

 

Have you ever tried EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? I find faster EFT to be particularly effective for letting go of fixation on unpleasant memories. It's easy, fast, and free, so it may be worth a try if you haven't yet. Just search faster EFT on YouTube and you'll pull up TONS of videos walking you through it.

 

hi I am the same, I feel my emotions, and others as im an empath, which really is hard on me at times, but my issue was my fear of life, and sarno mentions fear. I lived in fear due to bad upbrining, abuse, sexual assault, bullying and other traumas, I thought I had come get me written on my head !! well if that's what I told myself all the time no wonder my brain believed it. Ive had rapid transformational therapy which has removed many subconscious beliefs, I have less fear, more happy thougts week by week. I also have bio energy therapy which gets the bio force our life force moving as it should be, all these combined are getting me well : ), go with your gut on what you want to try is what I say, ive tried everything from shamans to reverse therapy to tapping omg such a list but im glad I did them, its a learning path and for some a long one but one day a triumph will be celebrated : )

 

Hi MJ Schwartz, I tried EFT a few years ago, but I've never heard of faster EFT before - Thanks very much for the suggestion. I will definitely give it a go

 

You're welcome and best of luck!

 

Hi beccaboo, I was reading about rapid transformational therapy only recently and thought I might try it. I will look into bio energy therapy too. Reverse Therapy was something I tried a few years back; I was disappointed that it had no impact on me whatsoever...Although it was explained to me in detail about how it should work, for some reason my mind/body didn't really 'get it' somehow I believe that fear of life is a major problem for me too. I look into the 'ins and outs' of everything to the nth degree before making decisions and worry about consequences, i.e. suffering the consequences of making bad decisions. I believe it stems from my upbringing; I was an only child and considered a nuisance by my parents who didn't support me at all emotionally. I was recently looking around this forum and found Alan Gordon's Pain Recovery Program and the section in the Program called 'The Fear Matrix' plus the two sections on 'Somatic Tracking' particularly 'spoke' to me. With regard to the Somatic Tracking, over the last couple of days, when I've been checking in with myself very regularly, paying particular attention to the sensations in my body (rather than just letting stuff bubble up of its own accord into my consciousness) I've noticed a little temporary lessening of my chronic pelvic pain, which is giving me some hope of more lasting pain relief. Thanks very much for your reply and encouragement. Here's hoping we'll both be triumphant very soon on our learning paths

 

thank you BloodMoon

you sound very similar to me, child hood put me on my fight or flight path and then other traumas made it worse. I had no one to tell me I was safe or loved enough. as an only child too I lived in my mind. reverse therapy and mickl therapy which is basically the same didn't do anything for me, I spent soooo much too. then I thought why cant I fix myself why doesn't it work on me I must be broke! typical perfectionist. now I see it as a learning and growing path, im training in bio energy in October so that I can help others with all illneses. its an amazing experience having the healing too. yes I too find if I sit and feel the sesations they calm, eg im on the sofa now watching a film and this I could not do for about 16 months as my pain would cripple me o I had to keep busy, now I sit here and my pain is say a 2 to a 3 which is great, and I feel it and imagin it floating out and talk to it in my head. I refuse to not sit here as its what I want to do and my brain just has to trust me. : ), if you need any info on rtt feel free to ask xxx

 

Interesting to know that we both didn't get anything from Reverse/Mickl therapy - other than a hole in our bank balances! I too have some perfectionist traits, but when I did the questionnaires regarding personality types in the book 'Pain Free For Life' by Scott Brady, I was absolutely astounded that I have far more fear prone personality traits than anything else. I had never thought of myself as a fearful person - I thought of myself as being merely 'sensibly cautious' - so it's been a bit of a revelation to me. (I had many months of person-centred therapy/counselling a number of years ago and my fearfulness never became apparent to me, but the sessions did help me realise just how much my parents didn't care how I felt as a child.) I was reading forum member Plum's postings and saw that she found that doing the Shavasana/Savasana yoga pose played a major part in her recovery from chronic pain as a way of doing Somatic Tracking. I'm trying it now too and finding it remarkably soothing and relaxing. Thank you for the offer of info re rtt; I'm going to try a few things on my own for a while, but will come back to take you up on your kind offer when I feel the time is ripe for me to go for it. It's great that you've got your pain down to a 2 to 3 level now - What do you think has helped with your recovery the most, the rtt or bio energy - or are they both too much a part of the tapestry of your recovery process to pull apart?

 

I think both have been equal, the bio energy kick started it and the rtt has stopped me from thinking negative. when I was doing reverse therapy I did get better somewhat but then I got the flu and it all came back and the flu symptoms of m.e would not go, I think my brain needed to see actual proof of real change to believe, so when I had bio energy done in person at first (nw distance) I felt the energy and strange vibrations happening in my body so I new it was real. but I did get stuck and believe that was all down to my thoughts, constant negative chat about life and myself, I didn't even realise how bad it was, but I was constantly scared of never being out of pain. rtt has really slowed my mind down and allowed me to tell those nasty thoughts they are not real and I do not believe them : ). Its true we all heal differently, no one doctor or therapist can say this will work alone for you, as we have all had different lives, different thoughts amd so on. I am one of those people who needs to know the reason for everything so finding ways for my brain to accept this new truth has been tough : )

one thing I ve realised is MAKE IT SIMPLE, you are not dying you have no broken bones or a disease, your body is just in a state of dis-ease, just tell your brain every day , "theres nothing wrong with me, thank you for protecting me but I don't need it, I face fear and its okay" or whatever you want to say to yourself : )
xx

 

Rtt sounds like it would be particularly good for me as my mind spins at a fast and furious pace. I have moments where the pain reduces in association with the new things that I try and then it comes back again. In relation to this I think the point you make about the brain needing to see actual proof of change also very much applies to me. I'm therefore going to be persistent and patient and will take you advice to make it simple. Thank you for your help and good wishes for the bio energy training; I hope all will go really well with it. xx

 

I had the exact same revelation! And I still think I'm not that fearful. When I hear an ambulance, I certainly don't assume it's a loved one. When the phone rings late at night, I wonder what idiot dialed the wrong number! (My mother assumes someone died. For real.) Still, there's an undercurrent of fear of which I wasn't really aware. Weird.

 

Hi Rosebud, I'm the same - I don't assume the worst when I hear an ambulance or the phone rings late at night. What I do do though is go into things to the nth degree when making decisions - fearful of taking a wrong turn and in so doing making life more difficult for myself than it needs to be. (I almost certainly do this because I've always had to 'make my own bed and lie in it' as I've never had much practical support and no emotional support from my family.) One thing about ambulances and phones ringing though is that they do make me jump - not because of what an ambulance or phone call could mean, but any sudden loud-ish noise does this to me - evidence I guess that my nervous system is on hyper-alert scanning the world for danger.

 

Ladies, I'd love to suggest one healing resource that may be of benefit to you all, it is one that has helped many people here. It's the huge and incredibly generous work of neuropsychologist and buddhist Rick Hanson.

His work centres on mindfully calming down the negative bias of the primitive brain which gives rise to the fear and anxiety chronic vigilance and the consequences of trauma can produce.

I link to his site at the end of 'My Story'. He also has some excellent videos on YouTube. Take a look at the link I posted on this thread:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/the-final-leg-need-tips.18154/ (The Final Leg: Need Tips)

In this talk he explains the principle of 'Taking in the Good' which is an essential way of soothing the mind.

I also recommend you read posts by a couple of forum members who have helped countless people. First there is our lovely moderator @JanAtheCPA who gives sound grounded advice and counts Rick Hanson's work as key in her recovery.

The second is @balto who has posted such a lot on overcoming fear and the role it plays in TMS.

@BloodMoon, if Faster EFT appeals to you then there are some great posts on this penned by @Eric "Herbie" Watson. Herbie introduced Faster EFT to me a few years ago. It took me a while to get it but once I understood how important 'aiming' or doing it in the heat of the moment was, I found it quite effective. I like it more than regular EFT because it feels more accessible but it is a very personal choice.

Plum x

 

Thanks very much for this information, Plum - All of which I shall read/look into. I'm going to watch the 'Taking in the Good' talk tonight as my mind is in want of a lot of soothing. I need something to stop, or at least lessen, the 'same old, same old' stuff from bubbling up over and over again into my consciousness as, even though I feel the emotions associated with each event in my body, my mind keeps referring me back to those unpleasant events...And it's exhausting.

 

On reflection, shavasana itself is a prime example of the body~mind taking in the good. This struck me at the end of my Yin Yoga practice this morning because the teacher often mentions how this pose is the time for the body to integrate all that has been done during the practice. Little wonder it leaves me feeling safe, secure and nurtured. I never felt this way when I attended yoga classes but doing it at home via YouTube allows me to really embrace it beautifully.

Thought I'd share for what it's worth.

Plum x

 

And yes to that too! Even the doorbell when I'm expecting someone that I actually like! (Do not even mention that Rihanna song with the sirens. When that comes on wwhile I drive the car, I need to change the channel ASAP. Can. Not. Drive. Anymore.

I love shavasana. I know some people get nervous, lying still like that, but I enjoy it immensely. I went to a yoga class that ended with a gong bath yesterday, and I could have laid there for hours, I think. (And the loudness of it didn't bother me one bit!) Also very enjoyable: yoga nidra.

 

Oh, and I forgot. Rick Hanson. I have the "Just One Thing" book, and just reading a random tip will help me feel better. I also have "Buddha Brain", but that will have to wait right now. I might have bought too many books recently. I love his newsletter, and it's free.

 

At the moment I'm just doing the shavasana pose mostly on its own, but sometimes I do it straight after I've done my daily qigong practise...hopefully, it's okay to 'mix and match' like that. What surprised me was just how long I can lie there perfectly still; the time flies by.

 

Yet something else we have in common - I've been buying a lot of books recently...to include 'Just One Thing'! I've just started dipping into it and am finding it good

 

Mixing and matching is fine. Each of us must craft our individual healing and we are blessed to live in a time where there is an abundance of wisdom and practice. I used to joke that I loved shavasana because I'm lazy but really I simply adore how at home I feel in my body during it.