Day 30 What if anger isn't the main repressed emotion?

[If 6 was 9]

Hi all,

I'm sure this has come up before, so apologies for asking again, but I'm finding it difficult to recognise that anger is the main repressed emotion.

Actually I have in a few journal entries about my past, but it's not this boiling all-consuming type of emotion about the injustices I suffered as a kid. I might feel angry when I'm writing about it, but it's more 'interesting' than some cathartic epiphany.

There are other emotions like shame which I see as playing a much bigger part. Also, I said this earlier, I'm someone who has in the past (though since starting this TMS journey I think I've improved) has let fly with anger too easily, especially with those close to me. So it's always been a very conscious thing. Maybe the answer to that is it was coming from an unconscious place. So if my anger in daily life has improved, does that mean I've begun to resolve the unconscious form of it?

I suppose I ask because each day I meditate on Dr Sarno's 12 daily reminders and No. 4 is "The principal emotion is my repressed anger".

The thing that makes this really difficult to work out is if my anger's repressed, then I'm really not going to be aware of it - so how can I know the truth of it? It may well be that anger is the main emotion in my case, I just haven't found it. Is there a trick to it (he asks, expecting that's the wrong question to be asking). Or is this just not important, don't worry and keep going....

For the record, my pain is still there, but every now and then I'm noticing it's improved slightly. And I'm starting to really believe it when I say to the pain, I know what you are, you're nothing to do with any structural problem, and I'm not afraid of you.

That and, paradoxically, not giving the pain oxygen by focusing on it.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

And I'm starting to really believe it when I say to the pain, I know what you are, you're nothing to do with any structural problem, and I'm not afraid of you.

This is good news. You may not have to "figure out" what exact emotion you can't feel. And still make plenty of progress with this growing understanding.

In my experience, much of the effectiveness of Dr. Sarno's approach is the inquiry, the attending to, opening your mind to the real possible causes. The exact nature of the repressed emotions may never perfectly clarify for you. But you are asking and you are attending to the real causes: the non physical. The precision comes in time, even over years, as you gently ask "what is doing on down deep inside me in this moment?" One moment it may be rage. Another moment it may be something else.

Dr. Sarno, over time expanded his list of "repressed emotions" to "any difficult feelings for the Inner Child." His list includes sadness, shame, fear, and others.

Andy B

 

[Bodhigirl]

Hi all,

I'm sure this has come up before, so apologies for asking again, but I'm finding it difficult to recognise that anger is the main repressed emotion.

Actually I have in a few journal entries about my past, but it's not this boiling all-consuming type of emotion about the injustices I suffered as a kid. I might feel angry when I'm writing about it, but it's more 'interesting' than some cathartic epiphany.

There are other emotions like shame which I see as playing a much bigger part. Also, I said this earlier, I'm someone who has in the past (though since starting this TMS journey I think I've improved) has let fly with anger too easily, especially with those close to me. So it's always been a very conscious thing. Maybe the answer to that is it was coming from an unconscious place. So if my anger in daily life has improved, does that mean I've begun to resolve the unconscious form of it?

I suppose I ask because each day I meditate on Dr Sarno's 12 daily reminders and No. 4 is "The principal emotion is my repressed anger".

The thing that makes this really difficult to work out is if my anger's repressed, then I'm really not going to be aware of it - so how can I know the truth of it? It may well be that anger is the main emotion in my case, I just haven't found it. Is there a trick to it (he asks, expecting that's the wrong question to be asking). Or is this just not important, don't worry and keep going....

For the record, my pain is still there, but every now and then I'm noticing it's improved slightly. And I'm starting to really believe it when I say to the pain, I know what you are, you're nothing to do with any structural problem, and I'm not afraid of you.

That and, paradoxically, not giving the pain oxygen by focusing on it.

I might suggest the anger relating to unresolved grief is a different kind of anger than the shame/rage of basic inadequacy feelings.
Women in our culture are more likely free to grieve. Men are often forbidden this process. There are 31 flavors of anger, rage, unexpressed, unacceptable self-hatred... a whole plethora of yuck. If we don't uncover and welcome it, we resist wholeness - individuation - which is natural unfolding of ourselves... we get symptoms.
I often see Sarno's work as something we all get to interpret and build upon. It's not like "sacred" text to be worshiped ...more like a living literature to be adapted to each of us, as needed.
Bg

 

[If 6 was 9]

I might suggest the anger relating to unresolved grief is a different kind of anger than the shame/rage of basic inadequacy feelings.
Women in our culture are more likely free to grieve. Men are often forbidden this process. There are 31 flavors of anger, rage, unexpressed, unacceptable self-hatred... a whole plethora of yuck. If we don't uncover and welcome it, we resist wholeness - individuation - which is natural unfolding of ourselves... we get symptoms.
I often see Sarno's work as something we all get to interpret and build upon. It's not like "sacred" text to be worshiped ...more like a living literature to be adapted to each of us, as needed.
Bg

Thanks Andy and Bodhigirl. It's funny how along the journey the TMS (aka doubt) tries to punch a hole in the theory that the pain comes from your psyche by saying "well if TMS was real, how do you refute this [insert nagging doubt here]."

Bodhigirl, what is the full list of those 31 different types of anger?

 

[Bodhigirl]

Thanks Andy and Bodhigirl. It's funny how along the journey the TMS (aka doubt) tries to punch a hole in the theory that the pain comes from your psyche by saying "well if TMS was real, how do you refute this [insert nagging doubt here]."

Bodhigirl, what is the full list of those 31 different types of anger?

Oh I'm sorry. I was speaking metaphorically e.g., innumerable flavors of anger. Though many mainstream psychology books have been written re gifts of anger, of rage. I am thinking of books I read 30 years ago. I am sure a search of amazon or some such vehicle would yield treasures that might resonate with you.
Go gently.
I found that politely asking the unconscious to "bring it on" - feelings instead of symptoms - lead first to anxiety and then depression to grief and shame and ultimately rage. It's not necessarily a template for the average person perhaps. I have been a psychotherapist for almost half my life! I am an archeologist of my own mind and past.
Safe inward travels!!!