Day 20 What I would change in my past

[Lizzy]

If I had the opportunity for a do over I would have severed ties with my parents before I had kids. As a daughter, grand-daughter, niece this makes me feel guilty. As a mom, having not done it until my children were grown makes me feel guilty and really devasted. I did not fully realize the damage I had allowed until the situation was changed. My kids talked with their father and I about it as we went along, but after I severed ties we were all able to see our relationships with them more clearly. So, I feel bad about all the pain for my family.

 

[Stella]

You didn't know. You did your best at the time. You have to forgive yourself.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Don't let guilt take hold of you. You made the decision to split from your parents for good reasons at the time
and now it's all water under the bridge. The flow of emotion now should be on forgiving yourself, as Stella says.
Try to forgive your parents, too. Forgiveness sets us free. It worked for me, forgiving my parents for my childhood stresses after they divorced when I was 7. Journaling led me to realize they had their own TMS pains, and that they did all they or anyone could.

 

[Lizzy]

Thank you Stella and Walt, you are both right. I did what I thought was best, and they did too. A good thing from all this is that my kids and I talk about all this family stuff. Hopefully each generation will be better than the last. Thanks!!