Diana-M
Beloved Grand Eagle
I’ve got a rough background—childhood abuse, ten years of various kinds of psychotherapy, about five major episodes of TMS and probably at least half a dozen smaller episodes and now I’m in my latest Mac Daddy episode that started brewing in 2020, and kicked into debilitating high gear about 3 years ago.
Been on this forum 2+ years, went full throttle with all the advice, expected deliverance at every turn, only to have my symptoms stay fairly much the same. Meanwhile—huge emotional growth that has evolved me into a pretty happy person right now, despite being semi-housebound.
Where am I going with all this? For those who don’t know me, I want it to give you an idea of how much time and work it can sometimes take to get well. Don’t be deluded. You will work. You will wait. And you will be tested beyond what you ever dreamed possible. And you will slowly regroup and reform in the ashes, to rise as a phoenix.
Only very recently have I noticed things starting to budge physically. And it’s so subtle, pretty much no one else would know. Little things show me that my nerves have come around a bend. They are quieting. The buzzing and burning is subsiding. The cramping and pain at night is much less often. The panic is down to almost nonexistent. I’m able to challenge myself physically (in baby steps); deal with the pain, handle any punishment my TMS brain retaliates with, blow off freaky episodes of random worse symptoms, and just relax with what is currently my life.
This life that I have is far from ideal. But I can be at peace with it and also know that I will keep making progress. It doesn’t matter how slow. I can’t control any of this. I can only stick with the process of healing and know that there is hope for a bright future —-as long as I don’t give up.
Been on this forum 2+ years, went full throttle with all the advice, expected deliverance at every turn, only to have my symptoms stay fairly much the same. Meanwhile—huge emotional growth that has evolved me into a pretty happy person right now, despite being semi-housebound.
Where am I going with all this? For those who don’t know me, I want it to give you an idea of how much time and work it can sometimes take to get well. Don’t be deluded. You will work. You will wait. And you will be tested beyond what you ever dreamed possible. And you will slowly regroup and reform in the ashes, to rise as a phoenix.
Only very recently have I noticed things starting to budge physically. And it’s so subtle, pretty much no one else would know. Little things show me that my nerves have come around a bend. They are quieting. The buzzing and burning is subsiding. The cramping and pain at night is much less often. The panic is down to almost nonexistent. I’m able to challenge myself physically (in baby steps); deal with the pain, handle any punishment my TMS brain retaliates with, blow off freaky episodes of random worse symptoms, and just relax with what is currently my life.
This life that I have is far from ideal. But I can be at peace with it and also know that I will keep making progress. It doesn’t matter how slow. I can’t control any of this. I can only stick with the process of healing and know that there is hope for a bright future —-as long as I don’t give up.
