Hello all, first-time poster intro here. I've been a student of TMS theory and mindbody medicine for several years now and finally decided to explore this wiki. I've had what I believe are mostly - if not all - symptom imperatives or TMS equivalents since at least age 10.
First it was a Tourette's diagnosis. Then I got migraines for about a year. Clinical anxiety/depression were next. Chronic neck/back pain took hold at age 15 after a muscle strain and, for the next 20 years, was always there to varying degrees. In 2009, I had my first CT scan which showed no problem with my cervical spine; later that year I had a SPECT study (basically a brain scan) done, which showed little abnormality. By 2015, full-blown fibromyalgia had set in and it was scary. I had thoracic Xrays at the end of that year w/ no remarks (other than kyphosis, which simply gave me a technical name for my rounded shoulders). In 2016, I had MRIs of the upper back and neck w/ nothing out of the ordinary. In 2020, I was officially diagnosed as AuDHD (autistic & ADHD; maybe not as relevant but still felt worth mentioning). At the end of 2020 I started having foot pain in both feet and the following year my left knee starting killing me as well (on top of the usual back, neck, and other fibromyalgia areas). I've never been a great sleeper and have struggled with insomnia for many years to varying degrees, often because of neck pain. I've struggled with addiction to alcohol, nicotine, and THC. 25+ years of that and have been in recovery now for 4 years (I mention this because it's been suggested to me that substance misuse is a manifestation of TMS). During 2021-2022, it was becoming painful to just write and type; I had even started using a stylus to do anything on my phone.
Decades of treatment attempts (mostly for anxiety and depression) have been exhausting. I've been on anxiety/depression meds for 30+ years, a handful of SSRIs and currently a SNRI; two times I've tapered off and rather quickly went back on after symptoms returned, with the most recent attempt 10 years ago cut short by a terrible fibro spike. I've been prescribed muscle-relaxants and pain relievers and killers. I've tried different over-the-counter and Rx sleep meds and aids and combinations thereof. I've worked with physical therapists at least 7 times, regularly had chiropractic adjustments for about 10 years total, and been worked on by massage therapists for around 10 total years as well.
I've been to therapy/counseling (neurologist, psychologists, psychiatrists, other licensed counselors) for close to 10 years combined. I wouldn't classify any of them as TMS therapists, although I may seek one out in the near future and am aware of the potential connections here in this community. I've always had many or most of the personality traits and characteristics common in those w/ TMS: "Goodist", perfectionism, empath, low self-esteem, guilty conscience, etc. I've been told I'm "too nice" by a couple of people before, although I've had some anger issues as well. My employment history has also been affected by TMS. I've quit several positions before that involved mostly manual labor or at least being on my feet a lot. However, I can now say that I'm more confident in doing such work - and work in general - especially after lasting a year and a half at my most recent job (which I did quit in part because of foot pain, but there were other factors). This is a good place to share the eventual turn for the better that followed my discovery of the nature of the chronic pain.
In 2021, the Curable app was suggested to me by my recovery counselor. That led me to join a zoom meeting held by Curable that featured Dr John Stracks and Nicole Sachs. That led me to start listening to Sachs's podcast The Cure For Chronic Pain. That led me to buy Dr John Sarno's book The Mindbody Prescription. Reading that book made me 50% better; the knowledge of the oxygen-deprivation pain distraction caused by the nervous system and the massive amount of patients that he successfully treated with his approach was (and always will be) undeniable. But it wasn't necessarily a "book cure", since I wasn't 100% better. However, I've followed Sachs's work (podcast, The Meaning of Truth book, youtube, etc), discovered and followed Dan Buglio, and have recently started following some others in the arena. I re-read The Mindbody Prescription last summer. There are plenty more books that I plan to read and other resources that I'm so thankful to be able to choose from in the near future and beyond, this website and forum obviously being part of all that.
Currently I'd say I'm about 75% recovered from the chronic pain problem. I now have a gym membership and work out every other day...and it feels good! I'm not there to impress anyone and I don't try to be stronger or more fit than I am, but I'm doing it! I'm gaining confidence, and getting stronger and more fit...gradually. I've had a few flare-ups, but taking a few days or a week off puts me back to normal. I now understand that pain is part of the human condition. Some of my life involves making a choice between what hurts and what hurts worse. Lately I like to remind myself to resist my nervous system, but to not fight it. I know now that pain is just pain (which I previously thought was an insulting, ignorant, luxurious thought for people who simply had lucky, pain-free lives). It will pass, just like emotions do; after all, both are usually one in the same when it comes to TMS. Neuroplasticity is also a big piece of the puzzle for me, since the brain (in it's often over-protective ways) is known to assign meaning where there is none or where it shouldn't be. Neural pathways, especially those forged over long periods of my time, can take time to re-forge and so I must be patient. My thinking has had to change and is still changing, but it's a welcome change. Besides, growth in life requires thinking changes anyway! My thinking has had to change, but it's a welcome change and, besides, growth in life requires thinking changes anyway!
Anyhow, thanks for reading if you took the time lol. Looking forward to getting to know others here and continuing to grow and learn.
