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Wavering Commitment and a Relapse

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by heidicat27, Jul 1, 2018.

  1. heidicat27

    heidicat27 New Member

    Hi there!

    I started this program a couple month ago after reading the Mind Body Back Pain book and experiencing significant relief from my psiatica and piriformis syndrome just a few chapters in! I slowly improved until I seemed to hit a wall. Assuming that I needed to dive deeper and start journaling, I started the structured program.

    Honestly, I struggled to work at this every day. I got about a week in (OK, it took me two weeks to get 7 days in) and abandoned this group mostly because my condition was improving and I thought it would resolve itself soon enough. That was about a month ago.

    Since then I've been doing alright. Sometimes my left back/glute bugs me, sometimes it's fine and I can run on it with no worries. I'm also taking muy thai kickboxing, Krav Maga, and cross training every week. I think this is a huge stress relief/ anger management hobby for me. I go every day after work and absolutely love it. I actually had a few awesome classes this past week with no pain. I thought I was almost recovered.

    And then Thursday hit. See, this gym is close all this next week for the 4th of July and Thursday was the last day they were open. I went home limping after feeling my left glute cramp up and had sciatia-type pain down to my calf. Friday wasn't so bad, but then Saturday hit.

    I was stressing out because my bf and I were supposed to go to a concert that HE wanted to go to. I really didn't want to go and I think had some serious anxiety about it. Literally, as soon as we go in the car to drive down, I felt more sciatica pain. I made it through the night with no confrontations, ill feelings, whatever.

    And the weekend continues. Today I've got sciata all through my left leg and I'm reading my Mind body backpain book to immerse myself in the problem. I know it's emotional as this whole saga started with my right left and I swear it switches legs.

    Anyway, This whole week I won't be able to go to my gym -- Honestly, I use this as an excuse to get out of the house, get away from my bf, and not deal with his constant complaining. I feel like he puts it all on me and it's just stressful.

    After today, he's going to be getting healthy -- no more junk food, alcohol, etc. So to prepare, he's cooked up a ton of steaks and ribs and it pigging out while complaining about how sick he feels. I think I'm anxious because I'm going to be stuck at home while he goes from pigging out all weekend to eating healthy. I know he's going to b*tch non-stop and take it out on me.

    Anyway, I guess I need to write this here because I've been harboring these feelings for ages. I don't have a habit if of journaling. I supposed I should try writing in a journal every day, huh?

    Whew. I'm all ears if anyone has any advice or thoughs on my sciatica has flared up again. Thanks for "listening"!
  2. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    It sounds like you have TMS and plenty of issues with your current relationship to fuel the TMS. Journaling is a great method for sorting these issues out and examining your thoughts, feelings, and personality issues that may be contributing to your TMS. So I suggest taking the SEP one day at a time and seeing what unfolds. Keep reading about TMS and the Success Stories on this Forum. It takes time, patience, and persistence to make progress and deal with the inevitable relapses.

    Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing. Ask questions any time. Lots of support is available here. Best wishes......
    JanAtheCPA and BruceMC like this.

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