Warning

Central sensitization is a physical diagnosis. Already wrong. As Jan likes to drill into my head, you have to get away from thinking about the physical. Trust me when I say I am the poster child for focusing on the diagnoses.
 
AI is not infallible. It is pulling from information and data compiled by humans which are fallible. We, as a result of various representations in media can tend to think of AI as this god like all knowing entity. Maybe at some point that will be true, but right now it isn’t, and it is best used with caution and a grain of salt.
 
I see Yes, But... Syndrome in every response.

YBS is the primary symptom of underlying Victimhood.

Recovery will never take place while Victimhood is at work because Victimhood is antithetical to healing the psyche. It simply can't happen.

This is the truth about reality.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
I see Yes, But... Syndrome in every response.

YBS is the primary symptom of underlying Victimhood.

Recovery will never take place while Victimhood is at work because Victimhood is antithetical to healing the psyche. It simply can't happen.

This is the truth about reality.
Click to expand...

I am purely asking what one does in my situation when ordinary graded exposure doesnt apply.
 
I don't see normal graded exposure as starting at zero and working your way up. I'm more of an all in person now, but at times I have used the activity tracking light. I'm not sure if it's okay to share the link here, but it basically works from your baseline of pain and how much it increases during activity, and how much it settles in the next however many hours.
 
CalmIsTheCure said:
I have pain in my buttocks and back which gets worse when I sit and lay and gets worse the longer I do it for.

The buttock pain is marginal when on my feet, on occasion it will be tight but not burning like when I sit or lay. However anything on my feet causing pain in my legs and feet.
Click to expand...
Okay, so, you sit for a while and when the pain in your buttocks and back get somewhat worse you keep sitting for a little while longer and then you change positions to, let's say, standing. You do that (standing) for a while and if/when the pain in your legs and feet gets somewhat worse you keep standing for a little while longer and then you change positions... maybe you go back to sitting, maybe you do some walking (I do some gentle walking on the spot, for instance). You're just pushing the envelope a little bit by doing this, and gradually the brain becomes less fearful of the activity and your brain changes/'rewires' in response through the phenomenon of neuroplasticity. Anyway, that's how I have done my 'baby steps' (without my having a pain/discomfort-free 'base').

In essence, I vary my bodily positions throughout the day. I did the latter a lot at first and then I found/noticed that the length of time I was sitting before the pain got worse in my buttocks and back was generally/overall becoming longer and longer (I say 'overall' because this was not a linear process nor should one expect it to be) and the improvement has gradually continued.

If you're going to do this, then don't fall into the trap of rigidity/perfectionism about it, timing how long you sit, for instance, or beating yourself up for 'sitting too long'.... In fact, I think if you were to just adopt a philosophy of 'I'm going to vary my positions and very regularly move my body about throughout my day' (in the UK we call this being a 'fidget bottom'; it sounds like it might be rude, but it's not!) you'll gradually see improvement. The only 'pressure' in this is resolving to regularly 'fidget'/move around more; which, of course, is what everyone, whether they have TMS or not, should ideally be endeavouring to do for the good of their general health anyway.
CalmIsTheCure said:
I feel like the idea of graded exposure beint the only way forward is a lot of pressure.
Click to expand...
@Diana-M and I are not saying that graded exposure or 'baby steps' are the only way forward; you have only to read the success stories on the success stories to see that. It is, however, what's working for us. You wrote that you were "feeling completely hopeless", so we were giving you hope.

@Ellen is wise, and she often advises people on these forums to just pick an approach, stick to it for a good while and if doesn't help, then move on to another approach and try that.
CalmIsTheCure said:
Or maybe graded exposure isnt needed and its all just about my thoughts
Click to expand...
Well, certainly, this is the biggest thing. As you have admitted, you kind of yo-yo from hope to despair. Maintaining a consistent routine, even on difficult days, helps create a sense of stability and control. Imo @Joulegirl gives some excellent advice about this here...
Joulegirl said:
I can tell you are frustrated and just want to see some kind of improvement. But that is also falling into the trap of outcome dependence. The way I framed it in my mind is this-I don't do journaling and meditating to get rid of pain. I do it to calm myself down and to strengthen my mental health. When I frame it as self care, it changes it from becoming a desperate need to just being a support system for my brain.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
“I think I basically need someone to snap me out of the fear.”

My point, back at the beginning of your post was that this isn’t anyone else’s job. You seem constantly reactionary, and this is the work. Instead of posting reactionary posts, why not post about the work you are actively doing. Reactionary posts are little freak-outs, and this is a mindset you need to conquer (re: your user name) to begin to feel better. It all starts with you, recognizing you have the ability to do this, and others are not in any way responsible or in charge of your feeling, thinking and healing. It’s the beginning step to refusing to be victimized by others or your mindset. It’s achievable.
 
Ok let me be completely honest then.

I dont avoid.
I meditate.
I have journalled religiously.
I have done visulization too.

None of these have dine anything.

I think I am stuck in confusion. What is the purpose of this? Because theres lots of conflicting information out there. Maybe thats why I never get anywhere because im not confident. I used to think it was about suppressed wmptions but I journalled and cried and felt my emotions for a long period and nothing happened.

One person says its repression. One pwrson says jts your personality. One person says its something else.

Which is it.
 
All of it. Just read one Sarno book. He talks about personality traits that cause rage. He talks about exploring emotions. Who says you’re doing anything wrong? For some of us it takes time. That’s all.
 
Diana-M said:
All of it. Just read one Sarno book. He talks about personality traits that cause rage. He talks about exploring emotions. Who says you’re doing anything wrong? For some of us it takes time. That’s all.
Click to expand...
Perfectly said by Diana-M here!

You joined the forum just under a year ago as a newbie. From being totally bedridden to where I am now, it's taken me several years. It takes patience and determination for so many of us.

I've got a lot better from having been totally bedridden (having to rely on my husband as my carer) and I didn't need to know exactly what was causing my mind/body/TMS symptoms. I just chose to assume that as Diana says 'all of it' was causing it.

If you want to cover as many bases as possible with techniques that go as far across the board as possible, I put these plans together a little while ago (for people to just take or leave)... https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threa...to-cover-most-mind-body-approach-bases.30322/
 
CalmIsTheCure said:
One person says its repression. One pwrson says jts your personality. One person says its something else.

Which is it.
Click to expand...

I think we all go through a period where we wish someone would tell us to do A B C for X amount of time and we would recover fully. I know I did. But you begin to realize that we are talking about the human brain and the human mind which is the most complex organism we know of. Add the infinite varieties of human experience to that, and we begin to realize just how complex all of this is. We just have to learn from all the people who come here to share their experience, and all the people who write books, create podcasts, etc to try to glean what we can from their experience and try it on. Doing this we eventually get better and most fully recover at some point. It's the daily commitment to try and stick to it no matter how uncomfortable it makes us, that finally gets us to a better place.
 
I think maybe dam ratners book makes it most clear.

Starts for emotional reasons like an event and not helped by our personality traits.

Doubt keeps it going because the fear part of the brain took over

Move into your power

Rita who used to be on here a lot suggests that as soon as doubt is done your pain should significantly lessen.
 
CalmIsTheCure said:
Ok let me be completely honest then.

I dont avoid.
I meditate.
I have journalled religiously.
I have done visulization too.

None of these have dine anything.

I think I am stuck in confusion. What is the purpose of this? Because theres lots of conflicting information out there. Maybe thats why I never get anywhere because im not confident. I used to think it was about suppressed wmptions but I journalled and cried and felt my emotions for a long period and nothing happened.

One person says its repression. One pwrson says jts your personality. One person says its something else.

Which is it.
Click to expand...

There is no "magic pill" - you mention you have journaled you have visualized.... do you still do it? These things can take weeks, months, or maybe even years (meaning, there is often work to be done after pain has subsided - work that can help you in many other ways) but you also must face the pain and just kind of "bust" through it in baby steps.
In this post I still see you trying to find a "fix" - it's still very hard for you just to let the pain be and not "do" anything to make this "magic" happen, and it's also still very hard for you not to want or expect someone else to come and do these things for you (eg. make you feel better/reassure you). This is still all part of victim hood. We've all been there.
Since you are very reactive, it's a sign your nervous system is still on high alert. Something like one robot generated random social media post freaks you out, then you've got a way to go to get things calmed down. I think many people have posted these things for you before, but sometimes it takes standing on your head and looking at them sideways to actually "see" what is going on in ourselves. Our brains are so resistant to actually observing our coping mechanisms and how we are resisting and avoiding ideas and possibilities.
The "confusion" is 100% a TMS mechanism to simply get you to stop doing the work - it's similar to anxiety, OCD thoughts etc. in the way it works. To which my suggestion is to start journaling again a few times per week and add in a few visualizations too if you enjoy them.
Another thing that was extremely helpful to me is to tell myself to STOP all the mind games and to make the clear and conscious decision to stop engaging in thoughts and behaviors that keep my nervous system on high alert. I might initially react to a post on social media "UGH" but then I consciously choose to engage in the work: "posts like that make me SO ANGRY at people trying to bust my peace of mind - so I'm just not going to believe everything I see or hear" (move into your own power!) just like the method I choose to do the work. I stick with it ... I mean I basically journalled until I began to see huge differences in my mindset, my anxiety, my symptoms (which means I still felt symptoms, but I didn't freak out and get frustrated by them anymore).
Personality and repression, your reactivity etc. ALL play a part in TMS. It's all part of the game and each thing can have a different weight in each persons life. That is why we do the work - to observe how this mechanism is working within us and to observe without pressure, judgement, freak-outs, reactivity etc.

Perhaps breaking it into chunks for yourself might help:

#1 Things that help you uncover your patterns and behaviors: eg. thoughts, reactivity, and personality traits - like journaling
#2 Things that help you calm your nervous system: like mediation and visualization (somatic tracking fits in here too)
#3 Things that get you moving again like mindset work and baby-steps exposure to the physical barriers you might face: eg. sitting (somatic tracking can fit into here)

I think your mind is still at the point where it just really wants someone to tell you exactly what to do, how long to do it, and when you will be able to break free. This is simply part of our rigid personality traits that were developed as safety mechanisms and it's not how the world works. You need to be comfortable with the uncertain - and know that you are absolutely safe within this uncertainty - you can even break that down for yourself too: if you have a roof over your head, a warm place to sleep and food in your stomach you are safe.
 
Yes i know i have
. A high need fir certainty
. I overthink
. I over analyse
. I like to be in control
. I complain because im scared

I know these are probably all fueling the problem and all run by fear and doubt.
My brain thinks theae things keep me safe. They are automatic. I realise that.

I know these things need to stop.

I have this loop where if I dont feel certain on what to do then I cant be certain I know it will stop.

But maybe im nit meant yo figure it all out.

I guess figuring it all out doesnt make my brain feel safe. And yet certainty is what it craves.

I have had a lot of situations in life where I have felt like a victim and wanted to be saved but no one came to save me. This is also probably part of the problem.

I guess no matter how uncomfortable it makes me im going to have to notice all these thoughts and behaviours fueled by fear and doubt and not act on them.

I imagine thats my way out
 
These are really good realizations.

I also want to add that while it is important "to do the work" on a daily basis, it is also important to put it down and live your life. Limit your work and thinking about TMS to an hour or so a day (but don't be rigid about it). Thinking about TMS and working on TMS is another way of having TMS. It's no different than when we were obsessed with our pain and symptoms. It's the same avoidance technique as TMS itself. Live your life to your best ability. Immerse yourself in other things that bring you joy. "Touch grass" as they say. Play with a pet. Create some art. Interact in meaningful ways with others. Write a novel like @Diana-M. LIVE!
 
"But maybe im nit meant yo figure it all out."

NUGGET OF GOLD for yourself right there.

"I guess figuring it all out doesnt make my brain feel safe. And yet certainty is what it craves."

GOOD WORK - this is absolutely 100% the type of psychological thinking you need to be engaging in. Now you might take this sentence and use it to journal with. Where does your need for certainty come from and can you simply see that for what it is? We often blame ourselves for needing these things - but once you understand that it was something you were taught by someone or some circumstances in your life, it's easier to disengage from the parts of it that are not serving you.

"I guess no matter how uncomfortable it makes me im going to have to notice all these thoughts and behaviors fueled by fear and doubt and not act on them."

YES! This is the part of stepping into your own power that is part of Dan Ratner. NO LONGER A VICTIM of your thoughts, behaviors, circumstance etc. No longer on waiting for someone to come and save you (because you are saving you, and you are already here!) These are the very things that Claire Weekes teaches us how to do - step by step to empower ourselves.

If Dan speaks to you - start doing his program. Read Claire Weekes and figure out how she fits into exactly what he is saying. Just concentrate on those two things. Stop listening to "everyone else" and stop worrying about what program to follow. You have one right there at your fingertips.

Disengage from complaining, anywhere. Stop looking at other forums anywhere else. Post here ONLY when you want to talk about Dan's work and how you are PROGRESSING through the work - you might not feel you are progressing with your symptoms, but talk about how you are progressing with the work. What parts of it speak to you? What do you like about it? Share with us some nuggets you've learned from Dan, and that you've learned about yourself through the work.

I kept a notebook with some lists in it to help my progress. I had a few pages about how my personality traits fit into TMS (which for Dan is one of his columns), I noted things like those nuggets you dropped about yourself above: the habits we have, the habits we want to break (again, this is one of Dan's columns).
 
Thank you. Your kindness warms my heart.

I like dan ratner because its a system that makes sense I guess.

I crave certainty and control because I was bullied a lot and put into situations a lot that I didnt want to be in.

I also had separation anxiety as a child. Theres an experince I dint remember but think it must be in my subconcious. Apparently when I was three I thought my mum had died but she hadnt it was just special effects on a ride byt my little brain didnt know that. As I say I dont remember it.
But I imagine this is why I crave control and certainty.
Ive also been on the receiving end of a lot of wrong information from doctors which could have killed my dad.
So it makes aense I act this way.

I feel like if I can know everything then I can be safe. That if I can be in control ill be safe
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top