Warning

I guess the work.
Recognise the behaviours and thoughts and don't act on them replace them with better snd this will fix doubt and also move me into power.
My brain just needs to learn these new ways of thinking and behaving are safe

 

"crave certainty and control because I was bullied a lot and put into situations a lot that I didnt want to be in."

And our subconcious still keeps pushing that child - it knows no time - no understanding that you are now an adult, and so you must deal with subconcious rage - for which you've given many reasons to be rageful, and accept that you feel this way deep down. Then you slowly bring to light your current adult hood, and that you don't consciously live in that childhood world where you feel powerless and at everyone elses mercy. Dan teaches how to feel empowered by reflecting on what he calls the "false narratives" (old beliefs etc) that we hold, and how to build new ones (stepping into our power). It helps us grow into emotional maturity.
You don't have to worry about doing "the work" here. Just open the book and begin your columns a little bit everyday while you also find things, as Ellen says, to live your life. You need to get out of worrying about how to "do" this all the time and just do it for about an hour a day and the rest of your day find something other than TMS to "do". Not only can focusing on the symptoms become and obsession but things like gathering information, trying to figure things out etc. also become obsessions. You break the obsessions by doing the work and turning your mind (however difficult and uncomfortable it might be at first) to other things. If you look through the forum posts in the last few months, people have posted about the things they also engage in: fiction and non-fiction, knitting, crochet, writing books, exercising etc. Those things can help you re-focus.

 

So teach my brain new helpful thoughts abd behaviours and why thr others are out of date.
I find i get anxious if not doing these thungs

 

I know this sounds silly to some people, but when I get nervous and anxious, which is often, sometimes I just mentally give myself a hug like I’m a little kid, and then talk soothingly to myself, like you would comfort a child. it actually works!

 

It sounds like you might find more comfort in following a program, like the one you suggested you prefer. Go for it!
Many people get more anxiety, thought loops etc when they begin to do the work in all honesty and with commitment. In your life you have created a default that your mind has decided keeps you "safe" - which of course is simply not true. When you begin to teach yourself the real truths, and break the old habits things can ramp up, but it will fade over time as you continue to work on the program of your choice.

 

I find i let my mind get to technical. I want answers to everything.

But I guess its as simple as terrifying thungs haooened and I used my usual traits to deal with it to try and cope. Synptoms start. Then fear takes over because you dint realise. I then I use them same traits against tms which isnt going to work. And its my job to change thoughts and behaviours.

I hear oeoole who recovered always say as aoon as you know its the brain the fear goes. That annoys me lol. No it doewnt