I had a very difficult interaction with my father last night - or at least it would have been if i hadn't been able to access all the wonderful tools i've gained from doing this emotional work.
I'm happy to report that w waas able to breathe and be kind to myself through the interaction and then afterwards see that "WOW this is the man who taught me how to be a person -- it's no wonder I have trouble with fear and feelings and sadness" It was so helpful - like seeing myself through a mirror.
It also alleviated me from some of the (perfectioist) blame i've put on myself. Why do I have this personality that brings me pain? Why do I approach the world in this unhealthy way? ITS NOT MY FAULT!!!! I LEARNED IT FROM HIM!!!! I didn't have any other option as a child.
I feel like going to my inner child and hugging her and saying - you don't always have to be happy. You don't always have to be the glue. You don't always have to be perfect - you are WHOLE and can be loved warts and all.
Today I've had a lot of pain - but I don't care. I've learned something so valuable and forgivin myself for my "TMS Personality" and that is the most important thing.
I'm happy to report that w waas able to breathe and be kind to myself through the interaction and then afterwards see that "WOW this is the man who taught me how to be a person -- it's no wonder I have trouble with fear and feelings and sadness" It was so helpful - like seeing myself through a mirror.
It also alleviated me from some of the (perfectioist) blame i've put on myself. Why do I have this personality that brings me pain? Why do I approach the world in this unhealthy way? ITS NOT MY FAULT!!!! I LEARNED IT FROM HIM!!!! I didn't have any other option as a child.
I feel like going to my inner child and hugging her and saying - you don't always have to be happy. You don't always have to be the glue. You don't always have to be perfect - you are WHOLE and can be loved warts and all.
Today I've had a lot of pain - but I don't care. I've learned something so valuable and forgivin myself for my "TMS Personality" and that is the most important thing.
