using my tools and seeing clearly

I had a very difficult interaction with my father last night - or at least it would have been if i hadn't been able to access all the wonderful tools i've gained from doing this emotional work.
I'm happy to report that w waas able to breathe and be kind to myself through the interaction and then afterwards see that "WOW this is the man who taught me how to be a person -- it's no wonder I have trouble with fear and feelings and sadness" It was so helpful - like seeing myself through a mirror.
It also alleviated me from some of the (perfectioist) blame i've put on myself. Why do I have this personality that brings me pain? Why do I approach the world in this unhealthy way? ITS NOT MY FAULT!!!! I LEARNED IT FROM HIM!!!! I didn't have any other option as a child.
I feel like going to my inner child and hugging her and saying - you don't always have to be happy. You don't always have to be the glue. You don't always have to be perfect - you are WHOLE and can be loved warts and all.
Today I've had a lot of pain - but I don't care. I've learned something so valuable and forgivin myself for my "TMS Personality" and that is the most important thing.

 

Hi srton,

Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing this. How wonderful to be able to see our TMS personality, understand the causes, and have self-compassion. This is a healing which goes deeper than "pain or no pain."

Andy B