Day 10 Ups and downs

I am on day 10, but it has been maybe 2 weeks since i started the program.

I have had my voice and throat problem for over 7 months now. When I read the mind body prescription I felt relief for the first time, a huge improvement. I was excited and relieved and used my voice a lot, got a bit over stimulated by social stuff, and started feeling a bit manic and not sleeping so well etc.

Then the last few days my symptoms came back in full force, and I have been questioning how much of my problem is TMS. I do have red spots/chronic pharyngitis all over my throat, and when I look in the mirror and see this and feel its irritation, it is hard to believe TMS. Even though the ENT doctors have told me it is not related to my voice problem, and the burning sensation I feel with that. Sensation and pain is such a strange thing, to really feel where pain is. I also only feel pain when I use my voice, and otherwise I feel pretty good, which is confusing! Sometimes I feel that knowing about TMS has added a dimension of confusion, as I see the physical stuff and I just dont know where to turn, whats going on etc.

So I'm confused and a little frustrated, but continuing with the program. Some quite deep emotional stuff came up for me around this time, mostly to do with mistrust, betrayal, paranoia, jealousy in my relationship.

I am determined and will continue

thanks for the support

 

Hi, Rob. Your throat check-up came up with nothing structural, so it looks to me that your symptoms are from TMS emotions.

You also say you experienced some "deep emotional stuff" and I suggest that is why your pain creased. If you keep journaling about those emotions, I am confident that you will heal. Just believe in TMS 100 percent now. Keep positive that you are going to heal.

 

Thanks for replying Walt. I am still fighting with the diagnosis, which is holding me back. Every time I post my doubts here a little more gets cleared up in my head, so it's good at this reply stage for me to express my scepticism!

 

You wouldn't have had improvement in your symptoms from reading a book if your symptoms are due to physical causes. This is evidence that you have TMS. Keeping a written list of such evidence is a great technique, which is discussed in Alan Gordon's Recovery Program found on this site. Have you gone through it? It's an excellent addition to the SEP.

Keep at it. It can take awhile to overcome doubt.

Best wishes to you......

 

Thanks Ellen

Yes I did make that list and read all of Alan Gordons stuff. Thanks

I think its just when the pain comes back and I still see the pharyngitis I start to doubt. But Georgie Oldfield said long term stress could easily lead to chronic pharyngitis as it suppresses the immune system, which I knew but didn't think of that way.