I think many people say their experience is up and down. That's certainly how it is for me. Often the pain's really bad even with painkillers. But I have made progress with current relationships - had a real conversation which I hadn't last time I posted, and been surprised by how much anger I hold in relationship to my very aged father. Plus lots of past experiences explored. I just thought I might have found the miracle cure by now! I do notice less pain or even zero pain sometimes when I am fully engrossed, and once after an honest conversation. Relaxing sometimes helps. Breathing deeply sometimes helps. I'm encouraged by reading the stories of others. I just think that my issues and behaviours have been going on so long that it's not surprising that it's taking a while to go deeply into it. Aiming to find patience and courage.