Day 25 Update - past the 1/2 way mark

I think many people say their experience is up and down. That's certainly how it is for me. Often the pain's really bad even with painkillers. But I have made progress with current relationships - had a real conversation which I hadn't last time I posted, and been surprised by how much anger I hold in relationship to my very aged father. Plus lots of past experiences explored. I just thought I might have found the miracle cure by now! I do notice less pain or even zero pain sometimes when I am fully engrossed, and once after an honest conversation. Relaxing sometimes helps. Breathing deeply sometimes helps. I'm encouraged by reading the stories of others. I just think that my issues and behaviours have been going on so long that it's not surprising that it's taking a while to go deeply into it. Aiming to find patience and courage.

 

Keep doing what your doing, your journy is beautiful.

Blessings.

Kevin

 

It sounds like you are making some real progress, Judy. I just wrote in another post the this work is not simple and it's not direct and it's different for everyone - all you need is an open mind and a willingness to change. Keep up the good work!

~Jan

 

Just to say how wonderful it is to post into the ether with uncertainty and receive these amazing encouraging messages back. Makes a big difference, thanks!

 

Hi, Judy. When I was doing the SEP and journaling, I put myself in my father's shoes and wow did I understand him better! He had real bad back problems and I am sure they came from TMS. He was under a lot of financial stress during the 1930s Great Depression when I was a boy. When he couldn't find work as an auto mechanic (he was a very good one), he sold ice cream with a Good Humor wagon, and my brother who was about ten sold ice cream with his Good Humor wagon on a corner opposite from where our father sold his. My brother always ended the day with more money than our father. People must have felt more sorry for my brother than our father.

Judy, maybe try thinking of your father by putting yourself in his shoes, as he was when younger, and now in his senior years. I think you will understand him better and forgive him for grievances, as I did my father from my repressed emotions I felt after my parents divorced when I was seven, over lack of enough money, although they both worked very hard, for very little, like a lot of people today.

I too think you are making excellent progress in the SEP and toward TMS healing. Keep it up. It sometimes takes a lot of faith and determination to overcome TMS pain, but it sure is worth it to live a healthier, happier life.

We're encouraged to "live in the present moment," but I also find it helpful to live a little in the future when I am confident things are going to get better.
I think they will be for you, too. Sometimes we just have to drag our arse through some cloudy days to get to where the sun shines.