Hi all, First, I could not be more hopeful. Thank you, Alan Gordon. After 4 years of debilitating lower back, hip, leg, foot pain and my body slowly contorting into a side-hunchback, surgery, 4 reinjuries, 6 epidurals, countless PT and pscyhotherapy sessions to manage deep anxiety and deep depression, trying every physical, spiritual therapy out there, giving up a few times (and somehow picking myself back up again), watching my life (relationships, job, passions, money, future, home, mobility, mental acuity) disintegrate before my very eyes, I stumbled upon Alan and this wiki through a google search. Alan sent me a link to the overview, I tried the first exercise around self-compassion, and my pain went from an 8 to a 4 that same day, February 27, 2017. I haven't looked back since. I have been pouring over, many times, the first 7 chapters of "Unlearn your Pain" (Howard Schubiner) as well as some parts of this site. Completing the exercises in Chapter 5 of the book was a compelling realization that I have MBS (TMS) and the I can and will cure myself. I have a ton of "mud in my basement" (and yes, suffered psychological trauma from the Boulder 2013 flood, which happened right after the acute onset of my pain - one of 5 life traumas that happened in 2013) - mostly in the form of anger, resentment, and fear. Starting the exercises in chapter 7 is roughly equivalent to Day 5 here. I'm attempting to do this on a self-paced. I understand the value of working with a psychotherapist but I've spent all my non-retirement income and savings on this and have been unable to work because of my condition. I'm living from loan to loan (from family ... yet another source of low self-esteem having been a working professional for 30 years) and am thinking if I can do it on my own, I *should* because the cost of working with a professional monthly is realistically almost twice my food budget. And then there's something else I was just told, that if Medicaid finds out that I 'was able' to pay for this, that I would be kicked of off medicaid - which is the most ridiculous thing I can imagine, but it's a real threat given how much healthcare I need right now. But I'm stuck at exercise one, in all reality. I seem to find every excuse in the book to avoid not doing the first exercise which is to look back at a big issue and really feel it, feel and express the anger. My unconscious is winning this one. Has anyone else ever tried using Unlearn your Pain and/or this wiki to do it on our own? Thoughts? As I'm writing this, I'm thinking back on the 'tradeoff' piece Alan talks about in one of his sample sessions... something like: "which is more important, me taking care of myself with the promise of more positive outcomes by working with a guide, a coach, a therapist to do this effectively, or me worrying about what it means to my ego to have to take out yet another loan to pay for it - even when the loans are being offered to me by family. As an executive coach and truly understanding the value, seems now like my unconscious may want me to struggle and fail as a way of protecting me. It's been hard and draining these last couple of weeks just doing the pre-work, but I've tasted the fruit of my effort, and truthfully, I don't think and feel like any of it can be much harder or hurt much more than what I've been through for 4 years. So, I'm forging ahead. Hope I can get myself to start Chapter 7 ULP (Day 5 - TMS wiki) this weekend. I know I have TMS (MBS) and I truly believe I can and will cure myself. Thank you all out there for paving the way with your stories and examples of courage.