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Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by mousemom, Jul 9, 2013.

  1. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Hello All!

    I am having less back pain the last couple of weeks my only problem is that I will be going along with my day and BAM I feel this severe shocking like pain in my back and down my leg. It takes my breath away and I feel sick to my stomach. What is that? It only last a few seconds but sends me into a sleepless night or a panic attack that my back is about to go. Why do we get these "twinges of pain" from out of nowhere? It is hard for me to process that it is TMS. Since it happening again late last night my left side is weak and I am worried this morning. I hate those twinges but I don't know what to do when they happen. I can usually feel my back tighten with my emotions but these hit me hard because they come on so fast. I know I have been conditioned over the years to believe it is a structural problem but it just gets me down when it happens. I feel like I am having a great pain free day and then I get these little twinges that send me back to square 1. Please help if anyone has had these and what you did to overcome them. Thank you so much.
  2. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Try and remember what you were doing/thinking at the time - or just before. There will be a trigger that has set you off - and to give you such a nasty shock - it is likely to be something important. It is also likely that your body does not want you to know what it is! So be really vigilant and try to 'out-suss' your body, find out what the trigger is - then deal with it!
    gailnyc and mousemom like this.
  3. Gigalos

    Gigalos Beloved Grand Eagle

    I recognize the bounce backs whenever you are close to a symptom free day. It is as if the mind misses distraction and starts tightening muscles again.
    Like hecate says, keep working on trying to discover what hidden thoughts may have triggered it. Also try not to worry too much. I know it sucks when it happens, but in time it will get less intense and one day it might dissappear all together.

    keep the faith!
    mousemom likes this.
  4. spiralgirl1

    spiralgirl1 Peer Supporter

    Hello Mousemom,
    That is great that you have been having less back pain recently..
    I have experienced very similar to what you describe.. I had a period of it a while back.. interestingly for me it doesn't happen when I am at home but when I am out walking along eg to the shops. The pain is like a shock that jolts usually lower back or hip .. and yes I also feel a wave of panic/ anxiety and sick to my stomach.. bit like a panic attack.
    In the past I turned back home too fearful to continue my way but at some point I made myself continue (not sure where I got the courage to do that at the time) and felt OK.. that was a huge positive for me to realise I was ok and not about to collapse or have my 'back go'.
    I think for me the fact these twinges / jolts happen outside (rather than when I feel safe at home) show a real connection to fear issues I have..
    As Hecate says above, I think that for the body/ mind to give us such a nasty shock it is trying to tell us something profound and there are triggers that need uncovering..
    and as Gigalos says .. I have often experienced these jolts on days when I have been feeling pretty ok and pain free.. like the mind is saying 'hang on.. this isn't safe.. don't forget the pain'..
    maybe these fast and hard pain shocks are created by your mind to try to trip you up as you are actually making good progress..

    Good luck and try not to panic if it happens again..you are not back at square 1 and it is a journey with many twists and turns but so many things can help.. I have found mindfulness very useful as well as various books etc.. positive wishes to you :)
    mousemom likes this.
  5. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreciate your feedback. I know I am so conditioned that this is going to take some time to resolve. I just hate how it makes me feel.

    Spiralgirl1: What books have helped you? I need to look more into mindfulness. I just feel like I am constantly talking to myself when I feel my back hurts or that twinge that I cannot even concentrate on every day activities. My kids and I went to the movies today and I had a twinge of pain and all I did for the rest of the movie is have those conversations in my head and the worry that I might walk out to the theater. UGH! I am tried of this controlling my every moment. If not my back pain I am talking to myself about my feelings. I hope this makes sense. But I still make myself go out and try to participate because I don't want this fear to keep me home bound.

    Thanks again. I am so grateful that I have a place where others understand me.
  6. Stella

    Stella Well known member

    Mousemom, are you working the Structured Education Program?
  7. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Stella, Yes, I am on Day 25. I was on vacation this past week and restarted it today. It seems to help but I feel that all I am doing all day is thinking about my emotions or traits. Or thinking of all my past, present, future stressors. I know I have a obsessive personality so it is hard for me to stop thinking. I feel bad for my husband because that is all he hears from me now. Don't get me wrong I believe the SEP is helping but I wonder taking a break here and there from it helps too. But my fear with that is I can easily go back to my old ways of thinking physical too. My biggest problem is fear. I fear my back pain all the time. I don't want it to go out anymore. I am tried of it controlling my life and my families life. It defines me. The first thing people ask me is "How if your back?" It is not their fault but that is the first thing they see. I so badly want to get back into shape, truly enjoy life without thinking of my back. Sorry I could go on and on. Any suggestions would help. Thanks for reading.
  8. spiralgirl1

    spiralgirl1 Peer Supporter


    I did a Mindfulness course to get me going and the very comprehensive book by Jon Kabat-Zinn called Full Catastrophe Living has a chapter re Fear, Anxiety and Panic..
    Mindfulness just seems to keep cropping up as being useful/ recommended for so many things in life..
    In fact I just heard on the radio that there are indications that Mindfulness can help the brain adjust from predominately negative (Eyeore) type thinking to more positive (Tigger) type thinking..
    I think it can really help to step away from feeling so caught up and trapped with symptoms and emotions but still allows them to be acknowledged..
    saying that I still really struggle to practice regularly (self sabotage at work) !!!!

    As far as book.. I have found The Divided Mind really helpful and Steve O's book.. I also have James Alexanders book but have not really got going on that yet.. look good tho.
    I have also found the Wiki input / call in's etc with Alan Gordon really useful..
    Have always found journalling really hard to do.. am not someone that expresses myself through writing and have a more 'visual' art side so I should adapt and draw instead... one day when I have time around work :rolleyes: more self sabotage !!
    Don't let the fear keep you at home.. well done for getting out there into life.. I know how hard it can be from past (and still occasionally current) experience but you will build on the positives. Keep at it.. :)
    mousemom likes this.
  9. gailnyc

    gailnyc Well known member

    Mousemom, if fear is your biggest problem you might consider Claire Weekes's book, Hope and Help for your Nerves. She writes about the fear that people develop when they have panic attacks--there is the first fear (the panic attack) and then second fear (the fear of the symptoms of a panic attack). If you think of your pain as fear in physical form, her suggestions and techniques might be able to help you.

    I agree with Gigalos and Spiralgirl that somehow your mind is not ready to allow you to be pain free. I have a similar problem in that I seem to have moments of sharp stabbing pain right after I've noticed that I'm not in pain. I have learned to pay them very little attention, but it took me a long time to get to this point. The key for me seems to be RELAXING into the pain when it occurs. When you react with fear and TENSE up, it only makes the pain worse. If you can learn to instead RELAX into pain (counterintuitive, I know), your pain will decrease.
    mousemom likes this.
  10. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    It does seem to get as if your whole life is spent pondering TMS. I am even dreaming about it. But it is better than just concentrating on the pain. Also I think the mindfulness is brill - hard to do - but great when you can. But I am being strict and making sure I do other things - and engage in them fully. Like now - I'm gonna finish this post and go out in the garden and pick blackcurrants! (of course then i'll have to make the bestest jam/syrup the world has ever seen - perfectionist - Moi!)
    gailnyc likes this.

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