Troubling emotions

I'm 18 year old girl and have had pelvic pain for three years. I recently discovered through reading Sarno that around when my pain started I repressed my feelings of being gay/bi. I have admitted to few people (very few) about feeling like I might be bi but now I think I might just be gay. It's hard for me to figure out because 1 .) I have a boyfriend and 2.) I graduate in 2 months so I kind of want to just go through those last two months before I come out or start experimenting. Another thing that's hard for me is that I'm attracted to feminine looking women. So how do I know if there bi or gay? So I'm at this loss because it's nice talking to guys in the aspect that you know they might be interested, but if I'm talking to a girl I'm attracted to I just feel dumb knowing there's a good to fair chance she's straight. Many girls want that moment where you meet someone eyes and you just have that conncention, you smile at each other etc. I'm still a girl and a big romantic, but for me I feel like it's less likely for me to have that if I date girls. Where do I meet bi/gay women with out going on dating sites or clubs where people are just there to have a one night stand.

 

I can see how keeping those feelings in could result in TMS. It seems as though you are acknowledging repressed emotions now, even if you haven't figured out the next step. I'm no expert in this area. It feels wrong for me to tell you to just wait this out until after graduating so you can "start fresh" in college. For now, I think you should keep exploring the connection between your pain and your repressed feelings about your sexuality. I recommend the Structured Educational Program on this site. I'm currently 21 days into the program and I've discovered many things about my past, my current stressors, and my personality that I was oblivious to before.

In terms of dating, an online dating service might be of value to you since users post their preferences to others before connections are made and dates are planned.

Good luck to you Kylin!

-Matt

 

Hi Kylin,

Welcome to the forums! I think this makes a lot of sense...a lot of people's TMS pain starts with an event or feeling like you're having. Though i'm not LGBTQ myself, I have some very close friends who are and have gone through the questioning process...my best friend went through it when they were about your age. These days, as you probably know, there is a huge spectrum of ways to identify as queer, and many people who are attracted to different genders. I think its tough at your age but there are certainly a lot of avenues to meet other queer people. If you're going to college, there are often LGBTQ associations and clubs, same in most cities if you won't be going to school. Online dating is definitely a good option too, and I have many friends who have met significant others on these sites (not just one night stands). Maybe there is someone you can talk to? It's a tough thing to be going through but even harder to keep in, i'm sure. Glad you're here and can at least start working through some things!

 

Thanks so much to the both of you. I greatly appreciate the support It's good to know there are TMS forums/ LGBT groups to talk to. I feel like most people with pain at some point felt like they were alone but it's refreshing to come and discover no matter what you are never alone.