Some professions attract them more than others - often those professions where other people are at their mercy. You're welcome...and I thought as much. I think so many of us who have TMS are hard on ourselves. My vice to cope with life and distract myself from emotions was binge eating, which I started doing at the age of circa 6 or 7, without knowing why I was doing it. Controlling my eating has been the start of my journey to wellness. I consider myself to be a binge eater in recovery. Your subconscious/unconscious brain is stopping you from finding out by making you unwilling or reticent to start doing mind/body/TMS work... 'Stream of consciousness' journaling and doing the 'Structured Educational Programme' (which I'm yet to do myself) and such like, might help you discover what your brain is protecting you from. If they don't, it might be that there isn't anything buried and that's where ACE1's tips for recovery can come in...His TMS was caused by his reactions (tension) to every day stressors. From what I've read on this forum, I think most of us have to find our own way of stopping our TMS - not by developing a system, but by 'cherry-picking' what 'hits the spot' for us as individuals from all the TMS mind/body techniques discussed on the forum, e.g. journaling helps some, but not others and some find meditation helpful, but others don't particularly etc., etc. (It's just like some of us have buried emotions and others have issues with unconscious and habitual tension in the body caused by reactions to every day stressors and some of us have a mixture of the two.) Nor had I any idea until someone wrote about it on this forum. Yoga nidra is helping me relax and it's the only form of meditation that I've been able to stick to doing regularly every day. I'm needing to do other things too though (like following ACE1's tips) to see some improvement. TMS symptoms are still skipping around my body, but I am going to persist with mind/body work as I'm convinced that it will eventually totally work for me. Not that I've experienced. Yoga nidra is sometimes termed as lucid sleeping, which isn't the same as lucid dreaming. What I get from yoga nidra is a profound sense of relaxation and the concentration that you have to do in putting your attention on the 61 yoga nidra points on your body can stop thoughts racing around in your head. (There was an issue that I had with a particular person that I kept ruminating about, despite journaling and talking about it, and it wasn't until I started to do yoga nidra that I could stop thinking about it.) Yep. Like you, I suffer with genital pain. This has improved by 'suspending my disbelief' and putting the mind/body/TMS work in, but I do know I need to do more work (e.g. doing the SEP) in order to rid myself of all the symptoms. The encouragement on this forum has helped me keep going, despite not seeing/feeling any progress for quite a while at first.