Day 38 Too lazy to enter into a relationship

[RozieHolland]

HAVE YOU DEVELOPED NEW RELATIONSHIPS SINCE STARTING THIS PROGRAM?

NO!
I didn't develop new relationships. I am to busy with myself and this SEP program and how to get rid of the pain.
It cost me a lot of hours everyday to do my journaling, because it is in english and I have to use Google translate all the time.
And also I want to do it right. Besides that I have to work, it is very tiring.

Some colleagues called me lazy, I became furious. Then I asked myself why am I so furious?
It is not because I am lazy at work. I found out that I am lazy in relations with other people.
Also I am lazy in take care of myself. I admit that I am lazy to care of myself.
I eat too much, I walk too little, I clean my house too little, I walk with the dog too little.
Maybe I'm too critical about myself, yes I am.

The pain, is still there. When I focus on the pain it is getting worse. So I don't do that.
(sometimes I do to see if the pain is still there.)
The last couple of weeks headache started and dizziness. When I am working it is gone.
So I know this is TMS. I think this is to distract me from what is really going on.
Maybe I get closer to the real issue.

Overall I am doing well.

With love, Rozie.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Rozie. I wouldn't worry about starting new relationships until you feel a lot better.
About headaches and dizziness. Are you drinking enough water? That's so important.
It's good that you are distracting yourself from thinking about the pain.

Don't worry about translating when you do journaling. It's only intended for your eyes, so write in your own language.

Try to do more walking, especially with your dog. That can cheer you up.

And don't be hard on yourself. Be patient and be happy.