Answer
I’ve encountered this before, and the reasons for it aren’t always the same, but there is a common pattern that I find.
Often times we focus heavily on our emotional issues, thinking that if we work through emotional trauma from earlier in our life, then we will eliminate our pain entirely. While of course this is beneficial, if we become myopic about our emotional issues, we’re entirely neglecting our habituated fear/uncertainty/lack of confidence.
Alan Gordon talks about how important it is to reframe the meaning of pain. What does that mean and how does one do that?
First of all, you have to become aware of how you respond to the pain when it flares up. Do you get angry? Do you panic? Do you question your ability to get over the pain? Do you question TMS?
If yes, then some work needs to be done. When our pain flares up, the worst thing to do is to become preoccupied with the pain and start down a path of anxiety. If you go down that path, you are training your nervous system to respond automatically and become activated when your pain flares up. An activated nervous system will further cause tension and anxiety, solidifying the habit of not feeling safe in our bodies.
That is all to say that when your pain flares up, I want you to be vigilant with your thoughts. Don’t let yourself have despairing thoughts about your body or your pain.
A personal story: I love running. I’ve done a handful of long-distance runs, and I try and sign up for organized runs regularly to help me stay in shape. When I was training for the LA Marathon five years ago, I started having knee problems. When my training runs started getting longer than 10 miles, any movement involving my knee would be incredibly painful.
One day, I planned a 20-mile run as an out-and-back from my house (meaning that I would run 10 miles, and then turn around and run back home to complete the full 20 miles). When I got to mile 10, I had to stop and sit on a park bench for an hour because my knee was in so much pain. Eventually, I took the bus back home because I could barely walk. That said, I was determined not to let this pain stop me from completing the marathon (my first).
From that point on, every time my knee would start hurting, I’d stop, walk for a while, and focus on my breathing. If I calmed myself down, the pain would subside enough for me to start running again. Sometimes I’d only run for a couple hundred meters before the pain would get so bad that I’d have to stop entirely and just breathe. BUT, I kept going. I didn’t let myself get scared or panicked that I’d never finish my run or be able to run the marathon.
After a handful of longer training runs, I was able to run 22-23 miles without any debilitating problems. My knee still hurt, but it became easier and easier to manage.
Honestly, at the time I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. Fortunately, however, I’m a determined person, and now I can look back and see that I unconsciously knew that letting myself despair about my pain would only backfire and keep me from what I wanted to do be doing (which was enjoying a beer at the finish line). My determination, in conjunction with my patience, proved to be the winning formula. I knew I could run the marathon, but I also knew I had to train my brain not to be scared of knee pain.
All of that is to say – when your pain shows up, it doesn’t matter what just happened or what is about to happen, all that matters is that you treat yourself well in that moment. And breathe. Always remember to breathe.
Any advice or information provided here does not and is not intended to be and should not be taken to constitute specific professional or psychological advice given to any group or individual. This general advice is provided with the guidance that any person who believes that they may be suffering from any medical, psychological, or mindbody condition should seek professional advice from a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions. No general advice provided here should be taken to replace or in any way contradict advice provided by a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions.
The general advice and information provided in this format is for informational purposes only and cannot serve as a way to screen for, identify, or diagnose depression, anxiety, or other psychological conditions. If you feel you may be suffering from any of these conditions please contact a licensed mental health practitioner for an in-person consultation.
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