So, I still have another post in here whereby I throw the baby out with the bath water (Day 6, I think), but so far to date - I felt better thinking and feeling that it was TMS than anything physical. I don't believe the mind stops at the neck and then everything else from thereon down is just flesh. I recognise myself in a lot of the TMS literature; I may not be a high-achiever or a perfectionist, but I am the latter in the sense of being too fearful to even try. Poor self-image, low-self esteem, weak boundaries, highly sensitive to criticism - an HSP, in fact.
Yesterday, I broke and started doing my stretches again. And I may still continue, as from talking to a few other people, most notably Plum on this forum, to do the emotional work alongside other forms of healing is not necessarily a bad thing. So, that's where I'm at today - I fell off the wagon, am back on, but with a more holistic approach.
Things I've learnt - I do have an anger problem, I am quite repressed, I haven't said 'no' for a long time, I take on other people's problems, I used to believe that I was massively at fault with everyone who looked or seemed cross. I also think that the pain probably likes being regarded as such, and has loved the money I've thrown at it over the past year - hundreds, possibly running into four figures at least; spiky balls, laser therapy, sports therapists, massage therapists, therabands, massage, books, insoles, oils, painkillers...that's kept it all alive. Maybe I don't feel good enough just being me? Maybe I need to have a problem that can't easily be addressed conventionally in order to feel a bit special?
Yesterday, I broke and started doing my stretches again. And I may still continue, as from talking to a few other people, most notably Plum on this forum, to do the emotional work alongside other forms of healing is not necessarily a bad thing. So, that's where I'm at today - I fell off the wagon, am back on, but with a more holistic approach.
Things I've learnt - I do have an anger problem, I am quite repressed, I haven't said 'no' for a long time, I take on other people's problems, I used to believe that I was massively at fault with everyone who looked or seemed cross. I also think that the pain probably likes being regarded as such, and has loved the money I've thrown at it over the past year - hundreds, possibly running into four figures at least; spiky balls, laser therapy, sports therapists, massage therapists, therabands, massage, books, insoles, oils, painkillers...that's kept it all alive. Maybe I don't feel good enough just being me? Maybe I need to have a problem that can't easily be addressed conventionally in order to feel a bit special?
