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TMS, or am I just broken?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Mara95, Jun 23, 2020.

  1. Mara95

    Mara95 Newcomer

    Hello. I'm hoping someone would be kind and read through my wall of text and give their opinion, whether It's TMS I'm experiencing because I'm having a hard time accepting It on a gut level. There are sadly no TMS doctors / therapists in my country. Thank you!

    So my story with chronic pain began 6 years ago. I was 19 at the time, finishing high school, when my wrists started hurting. I guess I was stressing alot about exams and moving away from home, which I see now Is probably what helped trigger it. But I had been using a computer ALOT through the years, so It made sense that my wrists were saying stop. X-rays and MRI's came back clean except for a ganglion cyst in both wrists. I had the one in my left hand surgically removed to see if it made a difference, which It did not. I tried chiropracty and PT, stretching routines, exercises to no avail.

    After 1.5 years I moved back home to my parents after doing badly in college due to social anxiety which I've struggled with my whole life. After six months back home, not really knowing what to do with myself, how to move forward, seeing a therapist that didnt really make a difference, I started experiencing tailbone pain when sitting. It would become more and more painful the longer I sat and then explode when I stood up. A couple of weeks after, my right SI joint (lower back), joined in. I experienced a sharp pain when standing up after sitting og turning in bed at night. When I walked I felt a dull aching pain. The joint occasionally gave a painful crack, if I twisted my hip a certain way by accident. I had X-rays and MRI's done which didn't really show anything out of the ordinary. Tried PT and chiropracty.

    6 months later after no obvious injury, my right knee became painful and swelled up. I can't bend it past 90 degrees or straighten it all the way out. Scans again clean. I saw a reumathologist who did a blood test and ultrasound that didnt show anything out of the ordinary. I got 2 cortisone injections in the knee, that didnt do anything for the knee pain/swelling. The pain in my back and tailbone disappeared after the shots though, and have only hurt a bit, very occasionally since. Hmmmm..... He reffered me to physical therapy which I did 2 rounds of, with 2 different PT's which did nothing. Surprise. Also tried acupuncture. My right hip also started getting stiff with a deep pain in the groin area. I roll in/overpronate very exessively in my ankles so I had orthotics made and got some better shoes. It definitiely made it more comfortable to walk, but It didnt really change anything.

    A couple months ago, I had another knee MRI done, 3 years after the last one. Now it suddenly showed a torn meniscus despite my symptoms haven't changed. I'm scheduled for arthroscopy/keyhole surgery in a couple of weeks, which I don't really know what to think of.

    About a month ago both my ankles started hurting after no obvious injury, there were no swelling or redness. The left is worst. I get a sharp pain in the back of my ankle when I point my foot and put pressure on my heel. I can walk pretty comfortably but It'll hurt occasionally sometimes on the inside, sometimes on the outside and other times in the back, behind the achilles inside the joint. Stairwalking often aggrevates it, but other times I barely feel it. They feel very stiff and painful in the mornings until I have taken a couple of steps and put them through the motions.

    So what I'm dealing with right now is wrist pain and weakness, knee pain/swelling, hip pinching, and ankle pain. Pain only during activity, not when I'm just sitting or lying around.

    The reason I have trouble accepting TMS all the way, is because I feel like it makes kind of sense that years of walking in poor shoes, with my ankles rolling in resulting in inward rotation of my knees/hips and excessively stressing the joints are responsible for my pain. Also because I haven't read about anyone else in any forum or TMS book who's experienced such persistent swelling as I have in my knee. It's been 3.5 years now. Hasn't gone down once. On the other hand TMS also makes sense, and I fit the profile. I'm a worrisom, anxious, peoplepleasing person. Always tense, stressed out and in my head. Also the fact that I'm starting an internship in 2 months where I have to be on my feet alot. I have been worrying alot about whether I can handle it physically/mentally so obviously my ankles had to start hurt too I guess?

    I hope It all made sense. I would love to hear your opinions! Thank you :)
    nowa minarden likes this.
  2. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    Mara I'm posting Salamader's success story as he had crazy symptoms including knee pain since he was 16.

    https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Success_Story,_by_Salamander (Success Story, by Salamander)

    You will find if you search for them that there r many stories of ppl who recovered from crazy symptoms.

    If you think that you have TMS & that yr personality fits the type & you think stress could be a trigger for some of yr pains, then you must read about TMS (Sarno, Ozanich, Fred Amir) & do the SEP to or Alan's Recovery programme & do the necessary work.

    You have a window of 2 months before u start yr internship so why not start now.


    nowa minarden likes this.
  3. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    No... you have learned that from the 'Medieval Medical Mythologists'. For that matter, why do we we need more than 30 minutes sleep each night? doesn't make any sense? How do we remember how to read when we haven't practiced in weeks? They don't know..they only have 'theories'... I have a roll of their theories in my bathroom and I just bought a 12 pack of their theories for $9.99. People were hoarding their theories a few months back.

    "Science, (mostly technicians but that's another discussion) has made up stories based on their inability to diagnose and help people with certain issues... since we too have no idea how to get better we believe them without examining them too closely....straight up BULLSH#T.

    Your 25, if I did the math correctly? You were designed to last about 90 years or so.... the unquestioned assumptions of the medical world are soooo ego driven and useless. I have crawled around on my knees for 30 years now, played sports almost every day...and have zero issues. God knew what he was doing when he designed us....or evolved us...whatever.

    Meanwhile. I had your same symptoms... with the swelling too. I was going through a very painful divorce. The whole process happened to keep me distracted from the unbearable pain and shame of failing in my marriage.

    When the pain left (after I realized it was TMS and treated it as such) My knees are still swollen and ugly... I had never really looked at them UNTIL it first Froze, and then became painful. Every now and then I get a twinge ....and it always means there is something bugging me I haven't figured out yet.
    BINGO! Your wrists started hurting when you were going through a period of change. Now you have a new period of change coming and freshly minted TMS symptoms! The good news, is that , as Mala said, you can start beating them now...first by learning everything you can about TMS and then , after absorbing it, reconditioning yourself....Not physically, but mentally.

    Lots of us never met a TMS doctor. I have never met one in my life and I have been painfree 21 years this past May. In fact their is waaaay more recovery info and support available now then ever before.

    Re-educate yourself, REFUTE the diagnosis, return to activity.

    ...and you can flush that theory where it belongs with all of the rest of their Theories
    Mala and nowa minarden like this.
  4. Mara95

    Mara95 Newcomer

    Thank you both for replying! I actually came across Sarnos books 5 years ago not long after my wrists started hurting. I kinda believed the idea of TMS and have come back to them every once in a while since, but I haven't fully committed and started doing "the work" until now. My problem is that one moment I believe in the diagnosis 100% and the next my mind is comming up with excuses as to why it's not going to work. That there's something "real" wrong with me. I guess I was just looking for some reassurance that I'm on the right path. Thanks :)

    Looking forward to posting my success story.
    JanAtheCPA, Baseball65 and Lizzy like this.

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