I wanted to try to help some people who are confused and stuck in healing, so I'll add to this thread as we go.
Everyone is stuck in healing, but most people think they're the exception. Take it easy on yourselves, you're doing fine. It's extremely rare that someone would read, understand and heal. It has happened, but it's very very rare--it's abnormal, or Abbie Normal.
People get stuck for various reasons, I'll try to outline a couple here. The first reason (this is in my opinion from what I'm seeing), is that people "try to heal." I did too, and it set me back. I outlined how I healed in great detail, to not only show how I healed, but to also show the mistakes I made along the way.
Don't try to heal because that's what your brain wants from you. Remember the reason you have TMS is to make you obsess on your body, to divert your awareness to something other. Stop thinking about body, and refocus on your relationships. Heal the wounds of relationship, or let them go. But you have to let go of the attachments.
The second reason for being stuck is this thing called "thinking psychologically." I think this has provided more confusion than anything. But in this particular point I'm narrowing in on "finding the reason for anger." You don't have to resolve anything, but it sure helps if you do. People get hung up on searching for the "reason for anger." This is good, but they're missing the point. It's not about trying to see if your divorce, or your mother, or the death of a loved one is causing you TMS. Of course these things are. But that's not the source of the anger. I don't believe those are the things you should be looking for, as causes of rage. You may hit upon one of those and have an ah ha moment and heal. That's all good. But that's not what I would tell someone as the "source of their anger."
The source is this separation problem. People need to be looking at WHY they are angry, not at WHAT has made them angry. We are enraged because we feel rejected. Our deepest need is to be connected, loved-unconditionally, safe, secure, needed, etc. All the comfy things a child needs in the womb. So when you look for causes of anger don't just focus on events, or situations. Look deeper into why your personality needs so much, why it gets anxious, has a quick temper, needs to be perfect, accepted, etc. These are the reasons for anger you need to be searching for when you think psychologically. The phrase "think psychologically" means to never look at your pain through the body but to peruse your psychological state for any needs for the symptoms. I'm saying, that when you seek these causes, it's ok to look at events, but to look much deeper into yourself and see the true causes.
It's always the those more basic needs that are unfulfilled that are the cause of TMS. Looking at events in life are the superficial aspect of thinking psychologically, as reasons for anger. Look a level deeper into "why." You will see yourself in a clearer light. The root cause is attachment, or attachment disorder. The personality that forms from separation-anxiety is the reason for your rage, RFYR.
Another reason for being stuck is that the brain is smart. It seems to have a mind of its own. It catches on quickly that you are catching on to TMS. So it almost always gives people something new to worry about that they feel is "absolutely a real physical thing." But it almost never is. The brain adapts its strategy quickly to give you something "different feeling." Then it has you fooled again, and the focus returns to worry again, and away from seeing yourself in panic, and anger.
All our problems come down to ego but most people can't seem to see that picture. So we bite off pieces we can swallow by disseminating smaller doses of awareness. If you jump to the ego-consciousness portion the suffering ends. But we can't rid ourselves of ego. So we push on with our minds divided in conflict.
There are many other mistakes made, some are funny, but that's a good start.
Steve
there is no wrong path, no right path - just an individual path which will lead you to people, words and experiences that you need.
... And I believe that I'm one of those people who will experience current diversion because my underlying issues are tough, and I have a physical issue which makes it so easy for my brain to generate pain. That's kind of just the way things are and as long as I'm aware of it, it just is what it is.
