TMS Healing Mistakes Made

[Lori]

Abbie Normal. Ah what a classic movie.

anyway, truly, healing takes as long as it takes. Don't think it can be rushed or forced. I also think repition of this information is needed which is why Dr. Sarno told me to read the healing program pages every day for 30 days. Yes, I knew them by heart by the end of the first week, but I did it anyway.

 

[Steve Ozanich]

Very true, healing takes time and repetition. That's why in the Prologue of my book I said that I purposefully repeated many themes from different angles to act as an extended healing manual. The book is longer on purpose, not to just write on and on, but as a healing tool. Healing takes great integration. I could have more easily made a shorter book but the idea was to help people heal. And it's working well.

That is another mistake in healing. People often think they can read the books and heal, but gathering knowledge is only step one. You have to then take that info and live it. The brain changes slowly, but because of neuroplasticity you will heal. Many have told me that they healed because I spoke to them about neuroplasticity. The proof that we can change our brain's behavior is a great healer through confidence.

Healing takes time. The people who heal quickly appear to be the ones coming back with other problems. The slow healers seem to be the more permanent ones. There's no science behind it but that's what it looks like to me. Makes sense too.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's?
Igor: [pause, then] No.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?
Igor: Then you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby... Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?
[grabs Igor and starts throttling him]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Is that what you're telling me?

 

[beachgirl]

Great post. I am trying not to just read but apply - do - live- what I read. I am reading your book and loving it. I healed from back pain many years ago through reading Dr. Sarno's books and then seeing him. It took many months to really change my thinking but I did it. I am now dealing with recent and rapid hair loss im told is due to stress and an iron deficiency. Im treating it as TMS which is a big leap but Im working on it. Your book helps a lot. So does the wiki. Wish I would get my hair back . This is worse than the back pain.

 

[quert]

Yes, yes, the why...which ties in directly with how one is actually feeling. The events and situations are what we think about but the whys are how we are actually feeling about them and that is what is potentially so scary and painful. The divorce is unfair, I have been betrayed, my family is splitting apart etc. etc doesn't mean much of anything until we get down to the next layer... I feel abandoned, unlovable, terrified I won't be able to provide for my children...now that is something to really run from. Who wants to think about that? Feeling it makes it real and that might just be the end of us. But actually it is the beginning. Learning how to experience and survive these painful emotions is what makes us whole again, living, vibrant, joyful beings. [bolding not in original]

Exactly. And becoming "whole again, living, vibrant, joyful beings" is exactly the goal. We all have that inside of ourselves, and when we learn to reclaim it, that is when we truly achieve TMS healing.

 

[Leonor]

I wanted to try to help some people who are confused and stuck in healing, so I'll add to this thread as we go.

The source is this separation problem. People need to be looking at WHY they are angry, not at WHAT has made them angry. We are enraged because we feel rejected. Our deepest need is to be connected, loved-unconditionally, safe, secure, needed, etc. All the comfy things a child needs in the womb. So when you look for causes of anger don't just focus on events, or situations. Look deeper into why your personality needs so much, why it gets anxious, has a quick temper, needs to be perfect, accepted, etc. These are the reasons for anger you need to be searching for when you think psychologically. The phrase "think psychologically" means to never look at your pain through the body but to peruse your psychological state for any needs for the symptoms. I'm saying, that when you seek these causes, it's ok to look at events, but to look much deeper into yourself and see the true causes.

Another reason for being stuck is that the brain is smart. It seems to have a mind of its own. It catches on quickly that you are catching on to TMS. So it almost always gives people something new to worry about that they feel is "absolutely a real physical thing." But it almost never is. The brain adapts its strategy quickly to give you something "different feeling." Then it has you fooled again, and the focus returns to worry again, and away from seeing yourself in panic, and anger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow! This is very interesting. I am definitely stuck. After I read all Sarno's books, did all the tmswiki programs and started Dr. Schubiner's book I got so stuck and sick of it that I went into tired and depressed mode (the physical pain remained the same). Deep down I know this is emotional. I have done a lot of recovery programs, psychological and nutritionally. I know all kinds of diets (really crazy ones too) and I also tried looking into all possible physical roots of my problem; environment, coffee, nutrition, poisons etc. and now I don't care about them that much. I did learn a lot, but I know that my brain still wins and it is not helping me. My subconscious went into war mode. I am coming back now but more cautious and not that anxious to recover. I did discover that I constantly criticize the world: I hate injustice, idiots, friends, superficial people, bad music, ignorants, Bill O'Reilly (among others), tea partiers, Kissinger, despots, dictators etc. I dislike when people eat so much, don't care about their bodies, drink so much, and smoke too much. I hate the fact that while I can control my eating habits, work ethics, being a good mom I am the one with the pain. I am just angry with the world and I think feeling abandoned has a lot to do with it, but complaining about being abandoned is out of the question. I always have an explanation for it and have a hard time getting the emotion out. I tried to get it out with Schubiner's book and after a while I found myself repeating the same pattern, it felt like a loop and it was not helping me. Now I am back with no definite plan, I am taking it easy, become more active (I isolate myself a lot), not dwell about my pain and see what happens.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Madura, sounds like you've done a lot of work on TMS and have learned a great deal.
As far as the world goes, I remember a 1942 movie, during World WarII, called
"The Male Animal," with Henry Fonda and Olivia de Havilland, a comedy by James Thurber,
my favorite humor writer. Jack Carson was in it too and he kept saying "The world as it is now
constituted, stinks."

It sure did back then, during the war, and a lot of it does today. The news just tells us about
the wars and famine and crooked politicians and greedy businessmen (and women),
but there are still a lot of good people doing good things for others. It's not easy but we need
to think about the positive things in life today. Love and caring for others is still there.

Feeling abandoned is something I've dealt with all my life, from parents divorcing when
I was a boy. Close friends I saw almost every weekend recently divorced. I had felt like
part of their family. I think that triggered my back pain, remembering my parents divorcing.

I've been learning that nobody is abandoned. My dog has not abandoned me. She loves me,
and so too, God has not abandoned me and loves me.

I bet a lot of people love you more than you can count. We on WikiForum are a family
and you're part of it.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Steve, your post about that scene from YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN reminds me
of how funny that movie is.

"Ah, sweet mystery of life!"

and

"Walk this way."

 

[Freedom]

I wanted to try to help some people who are confused and stuck in healing, so I'll add to this thread as we go.

People get stuck for various reasons, I'll try to outline a couple here. The first reason (this is in my opinion from what I'm seeing), is that people "try to heal." I did too, and it set me back. I outlined how I healed in great detail, to not only show how I healed, but to also show the mistakes I made along the way.

Is this like the idea of plant the seed and forget about it and let it grow?

 

[Colly]

Thanks Freedom (what a cool name), for resurrecting this thread!

Forest this one need to stay on the "Must view" new section

Steve - great, concise, ram it home reminder to us all, regardless of where we are in our healing journey, thank you.

 

[Alan Gordon LCSW]

Great post, Steve. Folks put so much pressure on themselves to find the "magic bullet," that it often ends up only adding to their stress. Loved the examples you laid out.

 

[Cap'n Spanky]

This is very good advice, Steve! You should write a book.

 

[Ines]

I'm so glad I read this. I'm happy with my TMS journey so far and it is a journey. Like you said it doesn't happen immediately. Along the way you pick up some bits of wisdom which are game changers. This is one of them for sure. Thank you for posting.

 

[TG957]

don't just think to yourself, "yes, my divorce is the reason..." Think to yourself, "how do I feel about getting divorced?"

But that is the hardest thing of all, for us, logical people! I don't even remember how anger feels, let alone feeling it for real! :=) . I have to put a substantial effort in "re-planting" the emotions back in my body - and it is a lot of work! Although, every once in a while, emotions started coming naturally, without a deliberate restoration effort on my part. A lot more to do. A friend complained to me yesterday that she has been crying for 4 years after her divorce and I told her "you are lucky that you can cry, I had not cried for many years and ended up getting very sick".

 

[Ines]

But that is the hardest thing of all, for us, logical people! I don't even remember how anger feels, let alone feeling it for real! :=) . I have to put a substantial effort in "re-planting" the emotions back in my body - and it is a lot of work! Although, every once in a while, emotions started coming naturally, without a deliberate restoration effort on my part. A lot more to do. A friend complained to me yesterday that she has been crying for 4 years after her divorce and I told her "you are lucky that you can cry, I had not cried for many years and ended up getting very sick".

That's really interesting because I'm on the other end where I cry every day and I'm super sensitive. So TMS can be repressed emotions and you can't feel the emotions but it can also be repressed and put stress on your body where one is really sensitive? I guess so.

 

[TG957]

That's really interesting because I'm on the other end where I cry every day and I'm super sensitive. So TMS can be repressed emotions and you can't feel the emotions but it can also be repressed and put stress on your body where one is really sensitive? I guess so.

Ines, there are some posts on this site about hyper-sensitivity that you may find beneficial. This is one of the few:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/highly-sensitive-person-are-you.12242/ (Highly Sensitive Person. Are you?)

 

[Alfaman147]

I'm guilty for doing this. I know my issues are mind body related but I can't seem to stop searching for answers. Why does my mind do this to me? why do i have pain? why does it go away sometimes? and yet what I don't realise is by me asking these questions to Dr Google I am just feeding my brain with more reminders of my issue. My problem is that I don't seem to read much about my issue. Most seek to have back pain or leg pain or headaches. I only found maybe 2 or 3 people with an aching ass haha

 

[Ellen]

I'm guilty for doing this. I know my issues are mind body related but I can't seem to stop searching for answers. Why does my mind do this to me? why do i have pain? why does it go away sometimes? and yet what I don't realise is by me asking these questions to Dr Google I am just feeding my brain with more reminders of my issue. My problem is that I don't seem to read much about my issue. Most seek to have back pain or leg pain or headaches. I only found maybe 2 or 3 people with an aching ass haha

The specific way your brain is creating TMS is not important. Don't let that hinder your recovery. You can be the first person to write a success story with your specific symptoms.

 

[Steve Ozanich]

To feel or not to feel, that is the question. But it all means little in the final stage. Healing is more from an awareness than it is a process. Although admittedly the awareness can come through processes. When you suddenly realize that you are already healed, that there's nothing wrong with you or your body, then you free yourself eventually. But of course if the underlying cause is great then your brain will fervently try to keep you constantly diverted through obsession, such as learning about TMS.

Symptoms are a defense against truth. The greater lie from the industry is that there's something wrong with the physical body. Learn the correct or accurate causes of suffering, most of which stem from ego, "me."

SteveO
You can't stay on the wrong path and get to the right destination

 

[Steve Ozanich]

To reiterate for the holidays because post holiday is the time I get busiest and people buy more books, etc. ie, the rush is coming again soon..................the #1 mistake I've seen is trying to heal. But people continue to do try because they aren't quite ready to throw their crutches away. But they will when the time comes. Healing becomes their new TMSing.

SteveO

 

[Pia]

To feel or not to feel, that is the question. But it all means little in the final stage. Healing is more from an awareness than it is a process. Although admittedly the awareness can come through processes. When you suddenly realize that you are already healed, that there's nothing wrong with you or your body, then you free yourself eventually. But of course if the underlying cause is great then your brain will fervently try to keep you constantly diverted through obsession, such as learning about TMS.

Symptoms are a defense against truth. The greater lie from the industry is that there's something wrong with the physical body. Learn the correct or accurate causes of suffering, most of which stem from ego, "me."

SteveO
You can't stay on the wrong path and get to the right destination

Yes, awareness comes through processes and there is no one size fits all in getting there. I know a mindfulness teacher who says that in the end all this structure around mindfulness training will prevent you from being mindful... What helps you get there will prevent you from being there but you need it in the beginning... I think the same applies for TMS. But there are no short cuts - you need to walk all YOUR steps and no steps are wrong. So I think that your last words are not really true there is no wrong path, no right path - just an individual path which will lead you to people, words and experiences that you need.

Also you could say, that the TMS perfectionist trait is really what leads to Dr, Sarno - if you're a quitter, you'll never get so far ... And I believe that I'm one of those people who will experience current diversion because my underlying issues are tough, and I have a physical issue which makes it so easy for my brain to generate pain. That's kind of just the way things are and as long as I'm aware of it, it just is what it is.