Melissa E
New Member
Hello all --
I was hoping to get some insight on whether TMS flare in a new relationship can happen. I've struggled with TMS since I was 21, primarily taking the form of vulvar/genital pain after being in a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship. I left that relationship after a few years and have had mostly pain free days in the last several years with the exception of during one relationship two years ago that was really unhealthy for me, where I had daily pain for about a year. I ended that relationship and went into a new one this last year and had the most consistent pain free days. I moved out of state and ended that relationship due to distance.
I started dating someone in my new state who is probably the most kind and loving man I've ever met. However, as we've been dating, I noticed my vulvar/genital pain which had been gone for almost a year start to creep back. We've been dating a couple of months now and the pain is excruciating, more painful I think than it's been ever - maybe at least since it first started. It's so confusing to me though because the only other times my pain is been this awful was in unhealthy/abusive relationships and it's making me so sad because this guy is absolutely amazing and I don't understand why the pain is so bad. It's led me to actually break things off with him until I can figure out what is going on.
While I'm trying to work on this from a TMS standpoint, I'm having my doubts because I only had pain in previous relationships when they were unhealthy for me, and so it doesn't make any sense I would have MORE pain with someone who is actually amazing to me and treats me really well.
There's alot more detail I could go into, but I'm curious if anyone else has experienced TMS flares/resurgence of pain when things are actually going well? I thought TMS comes up when there's buried stress/anger/negative emotions - not when there is something good going on in your life?
I was hoping to get some insight on whether TMS flare in a new relationship can happen. I've struggled with TMS since I was 21, primarily taking the form of vulvar/genital pain after being in a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship. I left that relationship after a few years and have had mostly pain free days in the last several years with the exception of during one relationship two years ago that was really unhealthy for me, where I had daily pain for about a year. I ended that relationship and went into a new one this last year and had the most consistent pain free days. I moved out of state and ended that relationship due to distance.
I started dating someone in my new state who is probably the most kind and loving man I've ever met. However, as we've been dating, I noticed my vulvar/genital pain which had been gone for almost a year start to creep back. We've been dating a couple of months now and the pain is excruciating, more painful I think than it's been ever - maybe at least since it first started. It's so confusing to me though because the only other times my pain is been this awful was in unhealthy/abusive relationships and it's making me so sad because this guy is absolutely amazing and I don't understand why the pain is so bad. It's led me to actually break things off with him until I can figure out what is going on.
While I'm trying to work on this from a TMS standpoint, I'm having my doubts because I only had pain in previous relationships when they were unhealthy for me, and so it doesn't make any sense I would have MORE pain with someone who is actually amazing to me and treats me really well.
There's alot more detail I could go into, but I'm curious if anyone else has experienced TMS flares/resurgence of pain when things are actually going well? I thought TMS comes up when there's buried stress/anger/negative emotions - not when there is something good going on in your life?
