Kiara
Well known member
I have to admit that I've taken a few months off work at the moment, because my fatigue became too severe and I just could not keep going. I kept trying to go back and ignore the symptoms, but it didn't work and I got worse. Deep down I knew I would have to take some time off… maybe a long time!
It's been a huge blessing to have these two months off, as I feel like I've learned to relax a lot more… perhaps for the first time in my life. Also, I realised that I won't have to move back home if I stopped working. Before this situation, I was convinced that if I stopped working I would have to move back home with my parents. I dreaded that, so that negative motivation spurred me on. But eventually I ran out of steam, and I couldn't keep going any more.
Yet now I feel relieved, as I have been released of that burden of fear - the fear that I'll have to move back home. Thankfully my parents have supported me financially, plus I have been getting some government assistance. It has also given me much more time to do in-depth journalling as part of the TMS SEP. I have also been going to a Christian meditation group every week, and learning to do meditative prayer at home which has made a real difference.
...
I'm a bit unsure about going back to work, though. I realise that my previous job was probably not a good fit for my gifts and skills, so I think I would prefer to work somewhere quieter - like a small, natural health food shop. Yet I feel loyal to my old managers, as they have supported me through thick and thin, and have been incredibly patient and flexible with my health problems in the last 20 months. Yet I don't want to keep working there out of a need to "please" them… that would be giving in to my goodist tendencies!!
I've also been brainstorming and doing an e-course about how to start an online business. I feel energised and optimistic about this, and I think this could be a great career option for me. Of course I won't be able to get a full-time income immediately, but I think it's something I would enjoy and feel passionate about. Even if it was just a part-time income, that would be excellent for me. I have learned to live on a low budget so any income is better than no income!!
It's been a huge blessing to have these two months off, as I feel like I've learned to relax a lot more… perhaps for the first time in my life. Also, I realised that I won't have to move back home if I stopped working. Before this situation, I was convinced that if I stopped working I would have to move back home with my parents. I dreaded that, so that negative motivation spurred me on. But eventually I ran out of steam, and I couldn't keep going any more.
Yet now I feel relieved, as I have been released of that burden of fear - the fear that I'll have to move back home. Thankfully my parents have supported me financially, plus I have been getting some government assistance. It has also given me much more time to do in-depth journalling as part of the TMS SEP. I have also been going to a Christian meditation group every week, and learning to do meditative prayer at home which has made a real difference.
...
I'm a bit unsure about going back to work, though. I realise that my previous job was probably not a good fit for my gifts and skills, so I think I would prefer to work somewhere quieter - like a small, natural health food shop. Yet I feel loyal to my old managers, as they have supported me through thick and thin, and have been incredibly patient and flexible with my health problems in the last 20 months. Yet I don't want to keep working there out of a need to "please" them… that would be giving in to my goodist tendencies!!
I've also been brainstorming and doing an e-course about how to start an online business. I feel energised and optimistic about this, and I think this could be a great career option for me. Of course I won't be able to get a full-time income immediately, but I think it's something I would enjoy and feel passionate about. Even if it was just a part-time income, that would be excellent for me. I have learned to live on a low budget so any income is better than no income!!
) to get back to their own true creativity, let their inner child play and find the courage to do what you always have wanted, but maybe haven't let yourself do. It helped me a lot. My pain has decreased, partly because of that I think, but the biggest difference is that my "space of living" has grown a lot! I realized that I was restricting myself from doing "dangerous" things, that I didn't let myself play (for various reasons - one of them being that I "should do something useful"...) and that I had forgotten about so many things that I have loved doing in my life.